How personal is too personal?
August 30, 2007 by Deb
Filed under Freelance Writing
How do you know when you’re offering up too many personal details? For instance, when I used to look for 9 to 5 work, I would fax or mail my resume containing my name, address, phone number and email address. Nowadays, there’s no way I’d include that information when responding to an advertisement on Craigslist. I realize most jobs are legitimate, but you just don’t know who’s out there.
I remember a week or two after Jodee began helping out. She asked me if I ever felt a little vulnerable because everyone knows so much about me. She thought she might not like blogging because of all of the personal details. Actually, I think that’s what I like about blogging – that I get to make it more personal. Of course the downside is that there are some unsavory types. Remember the guy who was harassing me several months back?
Life is different than it was 20 years ago. I remember once, as a receptionist, reading my mother my social security number over the phone so she could take care of some business. I didn’t give it a second thought! Would I do the same thing now? No. I know plenty of people who refuse to give out SSN’s to their online employers. While I wouldn’t put it on a job application, I will give it to my employers once I’m hired, because they will need it if I’m paid over a certain amount of money.
I’m very careful with the information I blog about. While I do drop details here and there about my family, I won’t name names. That includes the name of my town, my son’s school, my maiden name, or anything else that can give away my location. This may be the information age, but there’s a danger in offering too many details.
I think it’s good to be personal, like I am here, without being too personal. The trick is to figure out where to draw the line.
I’ve been sending my resume with PO Box address and phone number. I’ve been sending out so many resumes that I’m beginning to wonder if anything is real.:) This also brings up the issue of withholding some information. What personal contact info do you include or exclude when sending out a resume? Thanks.
I do not provide my social or physical address via the Internet until a contract is in hand. At such a point, one can often elect to fax the information. I do not provide a full resume, either. When bidding on a gig or job via the Internet, I send an informal resume listing my education, accomplishments, a few select clients (with permission, of course) as references and links to samples of my work. I provide email address, city and cell phone number. That usually does the trick.
Thanks, Bill. That’s good to know. I’m just starting out and probably need to be a bit less eager with disclosing personal contact and resume information. Let’s talk about this, call me at…just kidding…
I don’t go as far as the rest of you, but I don’t do a lot of biz on the internet. If you’re in the phone book, they can find you.
Keep in mind that e-mail sent out via nearly any service includes an ip address that shows where it was sent from. With that, you can get the home city. If you give your real name and your telephone is listed, they can get that, too.
You aren’t as anonymous as you might think.
Here’s what I want you to do:
Take an e-mail from someone you don’t know much about.
Turn on full headers with your mailer.
Look for a line that starts with X-Originating-IP and has a bunch of numbers separated with dots.
Something like this: 66.163.178.167
Put those numbers into this:
http://www.melissadata.com/Lookups/iplocation.asp
And you know something about the person that sent you mail!
Now, as Deb knows, you can block this with g-mail. I’m not sure if anything else will allow you to block it, but Deb is safe. Most of the rest of you are not.
I’d just like to note that no matter how cautious you are, if someone wants to find you, they will. I used to work as a research assistant where my job was to look up addresses, employment history, and just about everything else on people, sometimes with little more than a first name and a general location to go on. You can subscribe to databases that give you lots of personal information, and filling in the blanks is actually rather easy…unfortunately there’s nothing you can do to stop this.
That said, be smart and be on the defense. Check your credit history at least once a year to make sure there aren’t any weird transactions. Shred your mail. Above all, if you feel like you are being stalked or harassed, contact the police and don’t stop bugging them until your concerns are addressed. One of the writers on a board where I am a member just got word that a stalk ex shot and killed her cousin. He also shot her two children in the head and both are still in the hospital. Always, always, always be on the defense. The world is a scary place sometimes, no matter how safe you try to be.
For my own personal portfolio website, I always had (and still do have) my resume up for anyone to view. For the first month, I had all my contact information. Then I thought, ‘I really don’t want just anyone calling me or coming to my home…” so I took that information off. My website is also my full name, which may or may not have been a good idea. Too late now, though.
I am cautious about what I put online, but only enough to keep the idiot stalkers away. I know that the smart ones will always be able to figure out another way to get my info.
Like Deb, I don’t include names or other identifying details in my blog posts (with the exception of Michael’s name). I also don’t blog about vacations until after I come back — I don’t want a smart stalker knowing I’ll be gone!
Although my contact information is not on the resume that I have online, it is on the professional resume I sent out in response to job ads. Online, the only way to contact me is through a contact form, because I don’t want spam any more than I want stalkers!
It’s even worse in China. Even the legitimate jobs are dishonest. I’m always asked for copies of my diplomas and passport. One university job asked me for my ORIGINAL diplomas during the interview–I told the interviewer that I wouldn’t show my diplomas unless I was offered a job and had to prove something to the gov’t to get a visa. She didn’t understand that I spent 6 years and $120,000 on all that and there was no way I wanted anyone counterfeiting my hard-earned credentials. I’ve heard too many stories of “schools” printing up fakes to help underqualified “teachers” apply for visas because it’s cheaper than hiring someone qualified.
Gosh, these posts are wide-openers. And scary.
In Europe (based on experience living in Germany, Switzerland, and Holland), it is customary to put details (address, phone numbers) in a CV (yes, that’s how they usually call it here) or resume or on a professional website for all the world to see. Would you believe it, some even put family details (name of spouse, name/number of children) in there. Information on religion and nationality are also of primary importance since religion has an influence on your taxes in Germans and citizenship has an influence on your working permit. Anything less than a valid address and phone number would make a resume invalid especially if you want to do business with companies. They don’t like people who have something to hide even if they are only protecting their privacy.
To digress a bit, we also answer the phone in Europe with our names “Smith speaking” (both private or business phones), thus immediately identifying ourselves to the caller. A simple “hello” or “yes” is considered rude.
It goes to show the big cultural differences on the two sides of the Atlantic…
agree -
Out of curiosity – could you explain how your regligion has an influence on your taxes in Germany. To us Americans, that sounds down right bizzare and discriminitory.
I have asked myself that very question. I don’t give out names of family members and my social security number is off limits as others have mentioned. Looks like I’ll be getting gmail! I didn’t know it was that easy to get information.
haha, this reminds me of my own experience. When I was new, I send my detailed CV to prospective employers. Detailed CV meaning it contains my numbers, addresses, parents’ contact details, references’ contact details…and then it just happened, I’d gotten myself a very mean stalker. LOL.
Everything ended after a while. Fortunately, it was a very brief (though scary) experience. NOw I know better though.
My accountant advised me to get a FEIN (U.S. federal tax I.D.) which will substitute for a SSN on any I-9 form; there’s just a different line for it. Because I have a FEIN, I don’t have to give out my SSN to employers. As far as I know, identity thiefs can’t do anything with my FEIN…though I’m sure there are resourceful and creative indentity thiefs who will think of something.
I always wonder if employers think I’m a more established freelance writer because I use a FEIN rather than a SSN. The latest job I scored (on Craigslist, surprisingly enough, since so many of those posts are low to no pay) had me dealing directly with their lawyers and accounting department for the money, so my writing contact didn’t have a chance to be impressed with my FEIN
I just posted this, but I am not seeing it post….weird….
Anyhow, I just wanted to share with my fellow writers a great website that gives a heads up on scams and scammers. I think that it is an asset for everyone, and I am adding it to my favorites list!
http://writertowriterwarnings.blogspot.com/
TGIF, gang!
I had my identity stolen once.
They gave it back.
Awww…so nice of them to give it back. LOL
Robin
>Out of curiosity – could you explain how your regligion has an influence on your taxes in Germany. To us Americans, that sounds down right bizzare and discriminitory.
Phil, I saw a Spongebob about that once …
As for working with Europeans and Latin Americans, it is very refreshing IMHO. Personal details are not considered a threat of any kind. Why that is, I cannot say. But there is something genteel about it that I enjoy very much.
I refuse to be paranoid about these issues. If someone wants to steal my credit rating, that only means I get a new one to mess up. I use Saint Paul as a kind of brand name, deliberately evoking images of Midwestern honesty and hard work (that are largely untrue in my case). The assumption I get from people in other places is that I am only one degree removed from Garrison Keillor (which, incidentally, I am, but whatever).
My home is also a big part of my identity, since I restored it carefully to its antebellum majesty. So I have to use my address more than I might be comfortable with. But if people have “Saint Paul”, they can find that from the phone book.
The rest will be hard to find. I might get a stalker one day the way I act. In that case, I intend to use violence to protect myself by any means necessary. I’ve seen enough people with bullet holes in them to not be particularly queasy about it. Is this ideal? No. But I’ll deal with it when I have to.
Sarah, I had the same problem posting. I tried to satisfy Robin’s curiosity but my rather long reply got cut short…
Sorry, Robin, will try to write again later.
Erik,
This is going to sound rude but your post also demonstrates a typical Midwestern disconnect from the world many of us live in every day. Identity theft is rampant and causes billions of dollars in financial damage for which ALL OF US end up paying. The recent pillaging of Monster.com should be a very real wake-up call. If there are people willing to commit large amounts of time to stealing what to us seems to be useless information, you can be certain that it is *not useless to them*.
Standing Quixotic on principle only sustains the image of romantic idealism until reality knocks you off your horse.
You seem to take a lot of pride in the impression your place of residence makes on potential clients, but you certainly aren’t concerned about giving the impression of a business-owner who doesn’t care enough about things to protect his risk. My clients trust me to protect their information, too. If I don’t value my own, how can they expect me to value theirs? I would imagine that many of us are online 24/7 with some form of broadband connection. Do you know how easy it is for a mid-level hacker with only so much as an email address to gain entry into your system, even with firewalls up? Every piece of information an Internet fiend has increases their chances of getting inside and having their way with your personal and business files. Does your insurance cover you if someone steals a manuscript off your system and publishes it under their name, before your client can get it to their agent?
Just some things to think about you go out whistling past the graveyard.
As far as resumes go, personal information not pertinent to the job should be kept private.
As far as blogging goes, to me, as a 34 year-old man who’s slowly becoming more private with age, it’s probably best to leave the gushy personal stuff for your private journals. Prince Charles bore worldwide embarrassment when a British tabloid leaked tidbits of his diary where he was fairly unflattering toward Hong Kong officials. Think of what it would’ve been like if he’d posted it for the world to see. I understand there may be a cathartic value to bearing your soul in a blog, but I think it’s better to find a close friend instead; once the info’s out, it’s out for good. Actor Christopher Lee, whose best friend and fellow actor Peter Cushing died in 1995, once told reporters that there are friendships, such as the one he had with Cushing, where the person has become so close to you that you are only able to share the deepest parts of your heart with them. Once that person dies, there goes the bearer of your thoughts.
^I feel you on the being private part. It’s part of being young, I think, that I still tend to write about myself in blogs. Slowly though, I’m becoming more private (or is that paranoid) as I fall victim to stolen identities and stalkers. I do not want to repeat the same experiences.
You’re not being paranoid at all. Sometimes I think we should all take a page from Robert DeNiro, one of the most ultra-private celebrities who, before the rare interviews he gives, gives the interviewer a laundry list of DO-NOT-ASK topics that include: his family, politics, sports, fine wines, questions like “What’s Martin Scorsese like?”, and, of course, religion (Deniro, btw, is reportedly an agnostic but I don’t know 100%)
I’m just now finding your blog. I’m so impressed with the work you do and have done to help others learn about this wonderful world of blogging! Thank you so much for your help! I’m looking forward to long reads on just this blog alone, much less your other blogs!
Welcome, Canvas Grey!
Robin,
The church tax in German (approx. 1.5%) is some form of titing and is deducted (tax deduction is compulsory) only from those who are members of the Catholic and the Protestant churches. Freelancers also pay this upon filing the annual income tax returns. If you want to be exempted from this tax, you have the option to apply to “leave” the church officially.
Wow…that’s so strict! I’m Catholic myself…never knew tithing for Catholics is so strict in some countries.
I have been applying for quite a few jobs on Craigslist without realising this! I’ll be more careful in future.
I was just talking to a friend of mine about what we used to do as kids and how times have changed so much with so many things. I used to walk to the bus stop as a kid without my parents…today I make sure to be with when taking children to the bus stop which is not even a block away.
I would rather be a little paranoid and be safe.