And to your point, it’s mostly family. Not in-laws, as in your case, but my own. They figure: well, you’re home, and yes, I AM in my jammies, so I must have all the time in the world to putter, be lazy and, as you say, gossip over the back fence.

I’ve tried convincing them for years, but I truly don’t think they will ever understand the nature of conceptual marketing and advertising writing and what it involves…especially if it’s done from my basement lair. Anyway, your post was helpful because I passed it on to all those who chastise me for not getting in a car and sitting in traffic for an hour to “work” at an “office.” You know, like THEY do, like most “normal people” do. Sigh.

Thanks again for your insight!

Tom

I don’t exactly know what my family really thinks. In the beginning my dad was sending my online clips everywhere to everyone he knew telling people I was finally writing (he’s a good supporter)… However, I don’t know if anyone really thinks I am doing anything at all. It’s hard to gauge their response when I tell them I picked up a new client. They just sort of nod.

Like Deb says things don’t get done around the house like they used to. In fact, nothing gets done and I have 3 kids (and a husband) who could help out but they don’t. My husband is the worst. He complained so much the other night (because I don’t get up every day and leave and go to a place that sucks the life out of me like he does… I don’t work. I just run up the electric bill). Anyway (see how irritated this makes me), He was complaining so I told him, “That’s fine. I will miss my deadline. I will lose $XXX from this and then I will start all over looking for a new client. He looked at me and sort of dumbfounded asked, “That’s how much you’ll get?” (always about the money)… So I said yes, but in order to get that money I needed to X, X and X by the 30th. He was stunned. It hasn’t stopped him from complaining but maybe he now sees what this could mean for me and us. It’s my biggest paying client yet (and I got it here at Deb’s blog… after all this time!! Yay!) The kids don’t understand either. They see me at the PC all the time so they think nothing of it… sometimes I just want to lock them all outside. The baby doesn’t understand at all and will walk by and shove the mouse or keyboard drawer to make a point. It is very hard to work with those conditions (a new sort of hostile work environment if you will).

I am still working on a new schedule now that the older 3 are back in school but it is so hard that yes, even I think that a commuter job would be less insane.

Some like to see you succeed and some don’t unfortunately.

I have been self-employed for 95% of my adult life and learned that, much of the time, unsupportive friends and family are often a reflection of whether I have been putting enough visible structure into my business. Furthermore, I have found that more visible structure not only increases credibility with the people around me, but also with the marketplace for my services.

Here are some tips that have guided me in the past:

1) Look solid | Even if you don’t have an office outside of your home, try and look as though you do. Professional letterhead and business cards are a small expense that goes a long way. Websites are a plus but only if they look professional–working links, consistent fonts and formatting, etc.

2) Talk solid | Q. Why are family dinners or cocktail parties such a monkeytrap? A. They are a monkeytrap because when that relative (or relatives) who looks at your chosen occupation as anything from a contract with poverty to a way to avoid reality, a lack of professional confidence seeps in and we mirror their view of what we do.

With networking being the strongest tool in your marketing plan, a savvy freelancer should always have an oral “What’s New” spiel at the ready. If your business is treading water, or you are a passive owner, you are not going to generate any excitement or respect from those around you. If you always have something you’re doing to build your business, that you are excited about (i.e., meetings with potential clients, pro bono work you do for chairtable orgs and non-profits), your exictement has a better chance of becoming infectious. Never leave home without your oral brag book.

Of course, I’m leaving out a lot of the tips that can be found in any “…for Dummies” book on the subject of running your own business. It should be a given that how you treat your workspace (dress, tidiness, etc.) WILL come across to your clients, even if they only communicate with you by phone, so I am not going to belabor the point.

Finally, just as in personal matters, sometimes it is important to examine what others are saying. Introspection is a underutilized tool, but one that all successful people grab. Look at the reasons you are working as a writer. Are you losing money or making money? If you were in a room with 25 other freelancers, would you be proud of your portfolio or try to avoid talking about your recent projects? These questions can comprise a mini-litmus test to clue yourself to whether your career accomplishing everything it should.

I’m afraid this person can be quite resentful and has also been like this with other people. She seems to not like females getting on in life for some reason. I think it stems from jealousy.

When I first starting writing she had complimented me, but then I found out what she really thought.

It seems a lot of posts on here relay similar experiences, with the in-laws being generally unsupportive and quite rude to talented writers. As I said early, I’m sure it’s just sour grapes.

It’s funny how someone who doesn’t have a mentally challenging job can assume someone else can’t do work that can be both mentally rewarding and uplifting.

The majority of people have shown interest in my work. The attitudes that matter are the ones of those who mean a lot, and I can trust to give an honest opinion.

I don’t have a degree in writing either. I’m actually a Biology graduate and was all set in becoming a scientist – I was, in fact, getting ready to go to grad school to get an MS in Microbiology; I’ve even interned for international research companies.

But one day I took a part-time writing job and everything just sort of took off from there. I do plan on getting a writing diploma in the near future, just so I could pick up some new ideas and hone my skills.

Someone else said they don’t have the degree…I don’t either. I learn each day by writing.

My mother-in-law has been the trouble. She’ll decide to drop in after visiting my sister-in-law (who lives across the street) or call and ask us to dinner at the last moment, and never fail, it is always on a night when I have that 8:00 web meeting with a West Coast client or I promised a Central time zone client that I’d be available until 7:00 that night. Then the “well, she’s only at home” comments start. But my husband sets her straight. :p

To make matters funnier, my husband works from home too. So by some people, we are viewed as a “lazy” couple, I’m sure. At one point, someone even suggested we must be drug dealers because how could we have money working at those “stay at home” jobs.

When people ask me to do stuff in the middle of the day, they are often bewildered when I tell them, I can’t. I’m extremely organized and block my work in hours of time and try to stick to it the best I can.

But for how I deal with what others think .. I really don’t deal with it. Because I don’t care. My husband and I make a lucrative living and we get to spend our days at home together. I just smile and ignore the haters and those who just don’t get it.

Let’s hear it for busy slobs:) I have three desks stacked with papers.

In an old movie, they had planned to shoot at Chicago Trib, but chose Sun-Times instead because there were more papers on more desks.

My husband and children are good about giving me the space to do my work from home when I need to. We have a large computer room (3 desks and systems) with a play area for thee youngest. My family is great about keeping that space available for *just me* when I have looming deadlines or need quiet phone interview time. I find that being strict about this need, especially with the kids really does help. My son knows every Thursday is a “no computer day” and Friday mornings the room and contents are off limits as well. Setting a few rules and guidelines early on really has helped.

It took a while for my husband to get it that this was a real job. He’d poke fun at my sleeping in or working in my jammies or going to my remote “office” to work while watching an afternoon ball game. But he’s my staunchest defender now. When someone makes a crack about me not having a real job, he says, “Maybe not, but thank goodness the checks are real.”

I am a teenager—wait, no, I’m a few months past being one—but anyway, I am expected to help with the housework as part of living in the house. And school is no excuse.

To refer to Jenn’s boyfriend’s mother’s view of her freelancing, I like that view. When, in the future, I start earning a full-time income from freelancing, I think my parents will start thinking that way. They’re quite practical.

I’ve only had one person effectively claim I was unemployed, even when I was in the middle of a full-time college term. That was maddening. And then, of course, it’s “not a job like” hers handling a central leasing office; it can’t nearly be as draining…

Is all this work-from-home stigma from the scams? Is everyone so convinced that bigger is better that smaller is impossible?

I actually pay them to do small things around the office (scanning, filing) as well as things like mow the lawn that free me up to work. But they’d rather sit all day.

To PAT,

Contact SCORE regarding incorporation. I’ll chime in more if Deb puts up a discussion on it.

As for having a separate workspace, I can’t afford that right now. Our house is not that big and I don’t have a place in which I could be secluded. I only have my room and I have to share that with my sister too. My mom plans to have a small bachelorette’s pad built for me by the end of the year though, so I hope that’ll put an end to all the distractions.

I have teenagers who could help with housework, but they seem to take offense at being expected to do “mon’s work”.

Often I get so involved with my work that I am still not dressed when my husband gets home. He is always home by 2pm and expects me to drop everything to pay attention to him. Oh, and did I also mention that I am expected to homeschool four kids?

I’ve suggested quitting my apparently unvalued job but then I am told that we MUST have my income. I say I need help, I can’t be responsible for everything including an income. All he is responsible for is an income and nothing else.

Somehow I think I must be speaking in tounges because his eyes just glaze over. If I can’t get it done, it just doesn’t get done. It’s my problem, not his. Sometimes I wonder what purpose he has other than aggrevating me.

Maybe a new entry?

There’s one big difference though. Apparently working sales from home is one thing, but making money as a freelance writer, no matter what field, is nothing more than a fantasy. Don’t get me started on even thinking about making an attempt to write fiction as anything other than a hobby.

Thanks for sparking the discussion, Deb. It’s been most helpful.