I was in the Girl Scouts and remember having to sell cookies door to door. I’d never let my kids do that now. I threw out my daughter’s Katheryn Beich (not sure if that’s spelled right) package and she’s happy with my decision.

When I was a kid, my mom was head of the PTA. Once a year, they held this event called the “Family Fun Fair.” She spent months going to area businesses and parents asking for food, raffle prize, paper plates/plastic utensils/drinking cups, and beverage donations or help running game booths. Then for one night, the school gym was turned into a carnival of sorts. Game booths were set up, tickets were sold, and there were pony rides, and a bouncy castle. That even would draw in thousands of dollars and the community loved it. As we got older, she left the PTA and the event was never held again. It’s really quite sad because it was such a draw for the entire community.

I’ve mentioned that to the school here and their comment is always the same “We can’t use the school setting for something like that due to insurance regulations.” It sucks that community events are now revolving around insurance problems as well.

Our school also did plant sales around Mother’s Day. Nothing as cool as the bazaar you described, though.

The story about your son being forced to fundraise is awful. If my kids’ schools ever do that, I’ll be writing to the editors of every paper in town! (Not to mention probably changing schools as soon as possible, the commute be d#mned.)

By the way, I was a gifted child too, so I clearly remember the battles my mom had to fight on my own behalf. I was moved up a grade — they moved me into first grade after only a month or so of kindergarten because I was so bored — and although I wouldn’t ever have changed that, it didn’t really solve anything. I was still bored, and the school’s “gifted program” back then was usually just assigning extra research to keep us busier.

Likewise, my younger sister went to a special school for gifted children, and you know what she got? Wordsearches and crossword puzzles.

The book sales which raise funds and generate free books for the schools. . .those are great too. Again, no door-to-door or putting it on the kids to pester people.

Of course, they had to know that the kids who REALLY wanted that cheap pink radio weren’t going to get it selling only to family friends.

The whole thing disgusts me — they get all the kids into the auditorium, show them all these cool freebies they can earn if they sell a million candy bars, and get them all jazzed up about it. It’s just as immoral as targeting marketing campaigns at kids — they’re taking advantage of the fact that kids are impressionable and easily manipulated.

Fundraising is awful. My own two don’t participate in it, but this year my son was forced into it. The 8th grade class takes a class trip to Montreal for a day of fun at the end of the year. We were sent a letter stating that children had two choices, fundraise to pay for their share of the field trip and all of the money they earn buys them a place on the field trip instantly, or parents had to cough up the $160 by the second week of September. We can’t come up with that much money that quickly, especially when the storm that hit this area damaged our roof and that had to be first priority, so he has to do the fundraising. The email that he sent out to our family and friends about how he was being forced and really hated bothering them but had no other option was a riot and certainly got his point across clearly.

I don’t know if I would say overpaid. For someone who was doing their job, $40K starting would be pretty fair. I personally would say that either the education system has failed your teachers as much as it is now failing your students, OR they are simply in the wrong profession.

The fundraising is an issue for me, too, by the way. In fact, my husband and I were just talking the other day about how we’ll handle it when we have kids…and that’s with an emphatic “No thank you.” We both strongly feel that not only should kids not be used for fundraising, but also that it is horribly annoying to have someone else’s kids pestering you to buy something. WE will not be “those people,” at least.

Both of my kids are counted as “gifted” so the school and I have had many battles – if you can call them battles. My son was reading at the age of 3, books are something that are always in my house. I even have my set of Dr. Seuss books from my own childhood, Mog The Forgetful Cat is another, and then Wende & Harry Devlin books. I won’t part with them. When he was about to turn 5, we went to register him in kindergarten and were told that the school was changing its policy to have all students start kindergarten nearer to the age of 6, so he was one of the “red shirted” ones. By the time he started kindergarten though I protested to have him start earlier, he was reading books like the Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe, he could add and subract, wrote sentences, etc. Because the school board denied us early entrance for him saying it wouldn’t be fair, the teachers and I had many battles over what they would make him do in class.

By 2nd grade, they were telling me I should move him up a year, which I refused to do. First, he’d said he had friends and didn’t want to start over. Second, they told me in the beginning that starting him early would damage his school career so to suddenly say he needed to skip a grade was absurd when they fought me from the start. He’s now in middle school and to keep him from becoming bored, they’ve had to be very creative. They taught him a pre-algebra class last year and have him in algebra this year (8th grade). When he starts high school next year, he’ll go straight into Geometry.

Teachers here (I’m in northern Vermont) make a good salary. They can say they don’t, but starting out they are making close to $40k and I keep close tabs on their salaries. It is town policy to post what the teachers make. My daughter’s teacher is in his 3rd year with the middle school, and is making $42k. My son’s English teacher has been with the school for 28 years and earns close to $60k. On top of this, they do not pay for their health or dental insurance, the taxpayers cover it all. They get 3 weeks of vacation per year after five years which increases with longevity, plus fourteen sick days. All of this for working from the end of August to the beginning of June – classes are from 8am to 2:15 pm for elementary and 8:45 to 3pm for the middle school. They can opt to receive paychecks year round or just during the school year. I don’t see that they really have it that bad here.

But this is only the tip of the iceberg for me. What ticks me off is getting home papers from my kids’ teachers or the office staff. I’ve seen kindergarten spelled “kindergarden” in these newsletters or notes to parents. I’ve seen their used for there. Some of the grammar is horrible and for that I feel the teachers are truly overpaid.

The PTA here, I was a member once and they definitely kiss up to the teachers. That bothers me because they don’t tend to argue anything that is going on in the school. The majority of the focus is on raising money for the playground areas. The policy was that using kids to fundraise is mandatory, I disagree. The kids that sell the most can skip half a school day and be taken by limo to the area pizza restaurant which again I disagree with because my kids have one set of living grandparents and I have two brothers – that’s it for family. My husband cannot take the fundraisers to work – it’s against company policy. Meanwhile, if the kids sell door to door, they are disqualified. My son has two classmates that have step-siblings. One of them has 14 brothers/sisters and another has 21. No one can outsell these kids. The PTA thought I was wrong for saying the system should be changed to make it fair for all kids to win this day from school, so I never bothered joining back up.

I won’t say the school does nothing right, because policies on bullying are exceptional today. But where the education comes into play, the NECAP tests are focused on far too much and education has really diminished.

I think that’s a good way of looking at it. I have written unpaid samples upon request at actual in-person interviews, but I would never do so if requested via email by someone I didn’t know at all. That’s what my portfolio is for.

She emails me today saying she doesn’t agree. She said she looks at it as a job interview and she’s never been paid on a job interview.

Nice!

I’m not sure that teachers caring too much about the kids is the problem. At least, that’s not what I’M saying. However, there is a huge movement right now about fostering self-esteem in children. Although I think that self-esteem is important, the movement is taken to extremes. You probably all know parents who won’t discipline their children because it’ll make them feel bad about themselves, who prefer to “redirect” their attention to something else instead of telling them that hitting is not allowed.

Honestly, I think this is being carried over into the school system. Teaching kids to learn by rote is interpreted as possibly making them feel bad about themselves if they don’t have good memorization skills.

I agree with you that there is a lot of blame to be handed out. The parents think it’s the teacher’s responsibility, and the teachers think it’s the parents responsibility, and so no one does anything. Meanwhile, the kids are all learning that it is O.K. to be lazy and selfish, because after all, this entire self-esteem movement is all about catering to THEM!

I agree that it’s not always the teacher’s fault. With all the standardized testing, curriculum requirements, and administrative policies, teachers have few options these days. I taught preschool and after school programs for about 6 years, and I can tell you it’s the same thing there.

I also think you’re right about the parents siding with the kids these days. When I was a kid, there was no question of that if it was an academic issue. (I can remember my teacher and parents having a talk in fourth grade about the fact that I was reading in class instead of doing assignments. In fact, I hadn’t done assignments all year. My parents and the teacher banded together and made me catch up.)

The only cases where my parents sided with me were appropriate, I think. There were a few teachers along the way who were very lax about dealing with bullying, and my mom never hesitated to take my part on those issues. Looking back, I think the only thing she could have done better would have been to involve me more, so that I would have learned earlier on how to defend myself, to both my peers AND to the adults.

Usually, it’s not the teachers who are at fault. Much has to do with administration mandating or strongly suggesting teaching that helps kids do well on tests, but not master the fundamentals (kids aren’t “being taught how to fish”). And teachers can do little if they don’t get parental support.

I covered education for three years. Now if a kid gets in trouble or has poor grades, the parent tends to side with the kid. If I got in trouble or had poor grades, my parents (and most parents of that generation) would side with the school (and teacher), not with you.

No doubt teachers are underpaid, though with healthcare, they’re not as underpaid as they once were.

I was very pleased to see that on a paper he brought home yesterday, he had written something about “getting a good grade” and his teacher crossed out “getting” and rewrote “earning.” She didn’t mark him wrong, but I was so happy that she is showing him better, more specific word choices.

As parents, we have to be extremely involved in what is going on in the school.

Join the PTA.

Volunteer in any way possible in the office (you want to principle to know you so when you do have a problem, he/she will respond.)

Contact the teacher at the first sign of trouble or confusion. Most school systems now have an e-mail system set up. Find out the teacher’s e-mail and if it’s appropriate to the situation, use it.

Check over all of your kid’s homework every night (for the younger ones).

If your school has the grades available on the computer, check them frequently.

If there is a committee being put together to look at new curriculum, join it.

Be on top of things. I know we are all busy, but nobody but nobody has your kid’s best interest at heart like you do so if you don’t keep on top if it, don’t expect anyone else will.

I’m a former high school English teacher. I did my absolute best. I was overworked and underpaid and I loved my job. I didn’t always catch problems. But believe, when a parent contacted me, I always responded.

Your story brings up another interesting point. A lot of parents today — mainly wealthier parents — are holding their kids back from starting kindergarten until they are 6. The practice is called red-shirting. I think that in some cases it’s appropriate, but in general I don’t agree with it.

The story about your niece makes me nervous. The very first time THAT happens I will be scheduling a meeting with the teacher!

Kat,

I totally agree with you. Not too long ago I attended my 10-year high school reunion. The invitations that were sent out were atrocious — at least a dozen spelling and grammar mistakes, between the invitation and the RSVP sheet. I was appalled that this person had not only graduated high school with me, but also graduated college!

Anyway, my point is that the old ways also had their problems. I actually think a blended approach is for the best. Kids obviously need to learn spelling and grammar rules, but I also think that the focus should not be solely on this. It’s no accident that avid readers know these things instinctively, even when they haven’t been taught the “i before e” rule.

I also think it’s no accident that kids who are surrounded by books at home tend to do better in school. Parents today have become extremely complacent, expecting school to take care of everything, while the public school systems have gotten more and more inadequate. It’s a double-whammy.

As for the phonics… my niece could read before entering school but then had a very difficult time when the teachers insisted she re-learn using the phonics method. She would come home asking why the teachers couldn’t say the names of the letters properly!

Yes, we have Montessori here, and I have looked into it before and liked it. Thank you for the recommendation — we seem to think very much alike on these matters.

Like you, my parents started reading to me years before I started school. As a result, by the time I entered kindergarten, I could already read quite well. They didn’t know what to do with me in school! I can clearly remember sitting there in class while the teacher taught everyone about the letter A.

Honestly, I think it is BECAUSE I learned to read before public school “got” to me that I had such a strong appreciation for reading and writing throughout school.