Cover Letter Clinic Day 2
October 17, 2007 by Deb
Filed under Freelance Writing
Welcome to day two of our cover letter clinic. Yesterday’s clinic was such a success. Thank you to everyone for your wisdom and insight. I’m sure by the end of the week, we’ll all have killer cover letters.
Let’s get it on.
To whom it may concern:
I am a mother of two children under twelve, and a woman with many passions. With constant challenges in my life, I am forced to find new and creative ways to keep my family whole and healthy. I write a parenting column for (withheld), a city magazine. I have had my work published in my local city paper. I have written and sold many articles, with many different word counts, and deadlines, on a variety of topics for one of my current employers, Article Authors. I have sold the rights to them, but can provide excerpts if desired. I am in the process of writing a children’s book of affirmations, inspirations, and meditations. I recently began my own column called Unconventional Reality that celebrates the differences in all of us. Moving from the big city of Miami to the heart of the Midwest gives me many perspectives to explore. I have been working in Healthcare for the past eight years, and I am in the process of completing my Bachelor’s Degree in Education. I feel I can make a valuable contribution as a writer and a mother to your magazine.
Please feel free to review my website at (withheld to protect writers identity) . I can be reached by e-mail, at (withheld). I am including two samples as directed. If more of my writing is needed for the consideration of this job, please do not hesitate to ask. Thank You greatly for your time and consideration.
Sincerely
I think your letter is too personal. Many stay at home parents or people in difficult situations like to detail their plights in their cover letters. I can’t speak for others, but I find this to be a big turnoff. When I worked in human resources every time our boss received a cover letter with a sob story she’d call out “Oh cry me a river…listen to this guys” and while one of our co-workers mimicked a violin, she’d read it aloud. Now I’m not saying she wasn’t mean about it (and thankfully I didn’t work for too long in that department) but every time I read an article with too many personal details, I’m reminded of my brief stint in human resources. Without trying to sound callous, I really don’t think anyone cares. They want to know you can write.
Something else, if you’re putting your family situation first in your cover letter, the client may see it as you always putting the family first. Now, this is the way it should be of course, but your client wants to think he’s first. He doesn’t want to think you’ll be dealing with your children and family problems and then make time for him.
Yesterday someone suggested listing your achievements with bullet points, I think that would work well here.
“Some of my noteworthy clients include:
- (Name Withheld), a local parenting magazine
- Name of the newspaper for which you wrote
- Article Authors
- List of other clients “
I’m not so sure I would mention how you wrote a variety of articles with different word counts because that’s a given. No one writes the same exact thing every time. Plus, your bulleted list shows your versatility.
If you have links to articles you wrote, regardless of who owns the rights, do list them on your cover letter. You’re also allowed to scan the article and attach it if the client accepts attachments. You wrote the article and you’re allowed to use it in your portfolio. It’s also none of the other person’s business who owns the rights. If you can’t provide a sample, don’t mention it at all.
I want to add that anyone looking to hire wants to know first and foremost how his business can benefit by bringing you on board. I’m not seeing much of that in the cover letters. Sure, it’s about selling yourself, but it’s also about proving you’ll be an asset.
Anyone else?
I, I, I, I, I…
Too many I’s. I will admit this is something I struggle with as well in cover letters.
Definitely too much personal information. I want to be sure I’m hiring someone who can do the job. Telling me about your family and personal situation instantly dulls that professional image you might be aiming for.
hey,
I’m within 100 posts of Micah!
Where is your own column at? If I were hiring, I would want to know where to read your column if possible, since you mentioned it. If it’s online then give a link (although I don’t know if you put that on the cover letter or resume…smarter writers would know though).
I am a former healthcare industry employee turned full-time freelance writer. My freelance experience includes a regular column for –Newspaper Name Here–, articles for a local parenting magazine and a children’s book currently in development. As a mother of two, I am skilled at writing for an audience of children and parents. (Only include this last sentence if the job for which you are applying is geared toward parents/kids)
I am a reliable, efficient and dedicated professional. Please review my online portfolio (hyperlink here to your web site, which should have resume and writing samples at bare minimum); references and additional clips are available upon request. Thanks, and I hope to work with you soon!
If this letter isn’t targeted toward a parenting market, I’d completely re-write it.
If the letter is targeted to a parenting market, I’d say it’s not so bad to open with the first line. The part about being faced with many challenges could still be a turn-off. Unless the job involves writing about challenges overcome as a mother, I’d leave that part out. I agree with what Deb said about the word counts — I’d leave that out. I’d leave out the whole sentence about Article Authors. It looks like you’ve listed enough other experience without including Article Authors. Since you can’t show samples you’ve written for them, it drags the rest of the letter down. If that were your only experience, I’d say go ahead and keep that part in.
I do think it’s important to consider that there will most likely be many MANY other moms writing in with very similar credits and some with lots bigger credits. It would probably be a good idea to put something in the letter that will make you stand apart from the others. What will you bring to the client that others can’t?
I see you’ve listed 8 years of healthcare experience. Is that experience relevant to the job at all? If so, I’d seriously play that bit up to reflect what your experience in healthcare could do for the client. That’s something most other applicants won’t have, so you could use that to your advantage.
When I read this letter, I thought it was a letter introducing yourself to a listserv of writing moms. Editors don’t care about your personal life before they know you as a writer (although that can — and does — change).
As an editor, I don’t want to know about your works in progress, just what you’ve published or are contracted to publish.
Rather than tell the editor why you need this job (i.e., taking care of your kids), you have to change your approach and let him know what you can do for him. Highlight your work experience, but don’t feel like you have to go into great detail about word counts or rights held.
I just noticed the “To whom it may concern” — I’d get rid of that. If there is no editor name given, I just start in on the letter. Maybe it’s just a personal pet peeve, but I don’t like when people call me “to whom it may concern.”
I like to start with Good morning or Good afternoon if there is no editor name on the ad.
I agree with Amy,
If you don’t know the person and can’t learn it (before the advent of Internet, hiring firms taught job seekers to make calls to learn name of hiring authorities. Blind ads make it nearly impossible to do this because in many instances, you don’t even know the company).
So just dump “to” or “dear” and start in. Of course, if applying for something to write letters, you’d want to rethink this advice.
Deb mentioned that you can send samples even if you don’t own the article anymore because you ghost wrote it or somehow else gave up the copyright. I have a few comments on that.
1. I do it all the time.
2. I always put in italics at the top of the document “The following article if for sample purposes only and may not be reproduced or published in any way.” I have no idea if this actually covers my but, but I like to think it does.
3.This only happened to me once, but one prospective client questioned a sample article I sent to them because they ran it through copyscape and found it under someone else’s name. I explained that I had ghost written the article and I had no idea what happened to it after I sent it off. The client understood and still offered me the job.
So, yes, send ghost written samples, but make sure that it’s clear it can’t be reproduced and be ready to defend yourself if you’re questioned about its authenticity.
Robin,
Thanks for bringing that up. I’m always hesitant to mention one of the blogs that I ghost write because it’s not my name attached to it. I always wonder if including it makes me seem like I’m lying about posting there because it’s some other woman’s name on the post! But, as I’m trying to get more blogging jobs, it’s important experience to mention… I just note that it’s a ghost written sample.
I just assumed when reading this that the target market was parenting or WAHMs. Otherwise, why include it? Now, perhaps, “I’m currently writing a children’s book based on experiences gleaned from raising my own” would be okay.
I ghost write a lot, but am hesitant to use ghost writing as a sample because I’m afraid of violating agreements; often, people hiring ghost writers want full claim after the piece is bought and paid for and do not want anyone finding out that they are not the author.
Deb, or anyone else, can you chime in and clarify?
Thanks
Mary – I wouldn’t use a ghost written sample, especially if it violates the agreement.
If it comes the the crunch, then I would write one or two samples relating to the topic, unless of course they ask for specific published material.
Like the others, I omit the greeting if there’s no name. It’s less awkward than “To Whom it May Concern” or “Dear Sir or Madam” which I hate.
Re: ghostwriting, I asked Anne Wayman from About Freelance Writing/The Golden Pencil to drop by and offer her two cents regarding ghostwritten samples. She primarily ghostwrites for a living so I’d like to defer to her expertise.
Hey Deb, I can’t see my earlier comments regarding the cover letter??
Jodee, I think we might secretly be the same person. Yesterday you mentioned you recently deleted your phone number and address from your resume, which is something I’ve just recently done as well, and then today you mentioned you start off letters where the editor is unknown by saying “Good morning” or “Good afternoon.” I do that, too! I think we were separated at birth.
Everybody else’s input on this cover letter has been great so far. I agree: too much personal info. I’d delete anything that isn’t relevant to the job. However, that can sometimes be difficult when even you aren’t sure what exactly the details of the job are… which this writer may not be, because clearly the name of the contact person wasn’t even provided.
MelissaO suggested the “I’m currently writing a children’s book…” sentence could be relevant, but let me just say that I can’t think of any capacity where it would be relevant, no matter what the job is. “I’m currently writing a children’s book” means absolutely nothing. Editors, especially children’s book editors, know that everyone under the sun thinks they can write a children’s book because, really, how hard can it be?
That’s totally ridiculous. If the editor you’re writing to knows anything about children’s writing, it’s going to send up a red flag to him/her when you say “I am in the process of writing a children’s book” but you don’t list any published credits of work written for children. I know it’s tough, because your book might be great and you might be (and probably are) really serious about writing for children, but the editor doesn’t know that. Disguise the fact that you have no published credits for children by saying something ambiguous like, “I am also a children’s author” or simply “I write for children.” It eliminates the red flag and also skirts over the issue of being as-yet unpublished in the children’s market.
Re ghostwriting:
Sometimes I submit a ghostwritten piece, but “blind” the name of the company (substitute xxs), but I have enough materials with my byline and identified firms that this isn’t usually necessary.
I’m certainly no authority on the subject, but I have never used ghostwritten work as a work sample without my client’s permission. To me, that is a violation of the rights my client has purchased. For some clients, I have signed non-disclosure agreements which state I can’t even say “I’ve worked for so-and-so” on my resume. After working in the legal field, I’ll admit I’m more than cautious about covering myself. I’m not saying it’s wrong to send a ghostwritten sample in all cases, just that I try to avoid doing it. I’ve run into a few instances where I’ve really needed a clip or sample to show to a potential client in a field where I’ve done nothing with my own byline, and in those cases I’ve gotten my clients’ permission.
Amy,
I have same NDAs in some cases. I don’t mention name of client, just that there are other (type of firm), and offer a “blinded” article…”blinded” enough that name of end firm or even industry are indistinguishable. I mention that NDA prevents providing more detail.
I’m not saying you’re wrong in how you go about it. But I’m comfortable enough in how I handle it.
Additionally, with your background, you’d know this but other readers might not: An NDA is different than a non-compete. I will agree to limited non-compete clauses (I don’t want to steal clients), but unless someone is going to pay benefits, I won’t agree in writing not to work for a competitor, that’s a one-sided agreement — they don’t agree not to hire other writers. However, I typically don’t work for DIRECT competitors unless the relationship sours.
I don’t see the point of listing your previous work or present work experience in your cover letter. That is what a resume is for. I think a cover letter is more for the qualifications/attributes you wouldn’t necessarily find in the description of your job. For example, if this were for a parenting/WAHM job, I think its fine to say in the cover letter that you would be a benefit to this company because you have a family and you’re constantly finding new and creative ways to keep your family happy. I also think that a cover letter is a place to address the qualifications/attributes the employer wants in an employee and how you match up to those needs. You don’t list personal attributes in your resume. Instead, in your resume you would list the when, where and how of particular jobs.
OO fun Deb! I agree with all of the above. Actually, after the first sentence I would have stopped. NEVER open with personal info.
Phil,
I’ve never signed a non-compete agreement either.
I’m just curious, in the cases where you’ve signed an NDA but have blocked out the name in a sample, did the contract say you were selling all rights to claim the work as your own or performing work-for-hire? I liken ghostwriting to work-for-hire, but maybe I’m wrong?
Most of the ghostwriting I have done has been through a third party. They get the work and farm it out to others. Only once have I been asked by the person doling out the work to sign an agreement saying that I can’t claim that I wrote the piece. It was only for a specific group of articles.
Since I have not signed anything for these third party clients nor have I signed anything for the person I worked for, I don’t feel under any obligation to not use the articles I write as samples. I would assume if the client wants it differently, he would make sure he got it in writing. I would be more than happy to adhere to an agreement. But if there’s no agreement, I have no reason to think the client would have a problem with it.
Oh, another thing I do with ghostwritten pieces on my website. I have a paragraph explaining that I have extensive experience ghostwriting, but because I don’t own the copyrights, I cannot put the pieces on my site. I do have a list of many of the titles of the pieces I have ghostwritten, broken up into categories. At the bottom of the list, I say that if anyone would like to see a sample of one of these articles, please e-mail me and I will send them a paragraph or two.
Amy,
To be honest, I haven’t read that deeply into the minutiae of these agreements — yes, maybe I should have, but neither side typically is interested in going this route. I work for some PR firms, but that use these, but they typically have different client bases and seldom go after the same clients (these are smaller agencies, not the big guys).
So if I was writing a case study for PR 1 and trying to get work from PR 2, I would send the draft (so no PR firm name is on it) of the press release, case study, etc., but would blind the end client. For example, a release involving P&G (I’ve never done one for them directly or indirectly) would say “a major consumer good company” rather than P&G in any forwarded material. In this instance, I would also blind the name of the product or any other identifying info.
By the way, I almost never get involved in consumer goods, like P&G, so I think this provides a good example without violating any written or “understood” contracts.
You probably have a better handle on legal issues. If I was trying to operate my own pr firm while subbing for others, this could be an issue. But I stay with the writing, not in distribution of releases.
Concentrate on your writing and sell your ideas. A cover letter is to introduce yourself(not the whole family) and sell a few simple ideas to get the editiors attention. You sound like you know your stuff in the topics you are tring to sell.
Phil,
I don’t write press releases, but I can see how it would be difficult if you weren’t allowed to send samples you’d written for clients. I can’t see how a client would complain about that, but I suppose it would depend on the agreement.
Robin,
I agree with you. If a client doesn’t care enough to tell a writer his terms or have the writer sign a contract, it shouldn’t be an issue.
Relatively new to freelancing, and with my high paying gig being more of a marketing job, I’m wondering how different freelance/writing cover letters really need to be from ones for marketing/pr/whatever jobs? Like most people, what called my attention about this letter is how personal it was, which I haven’t seen too much in my experience.
We just finished the hiring process for a top-level employee for my NGO(actually, we’re making the final decision today…trying to hire someone from abroad for an international job is really tough). Reading so many cover letters, I found myself doing something similar to Deb’s old boss. Frankly, I only cared about someone’s personal story/motivations if I already had the feeling that s/he was right for the job. First and foremost, I wanted s/he to say “I’m a fit because of ABCD” (huge fan of the bulleted list, I am). I want to be assured that s/he is talented, and I want s/he to prove it. Then, if relevant to the position (like many said above) I’d like to hear more about what makes the person even more committed to the project, i.e. being a parent, gardener, masochist, o que sea.
However, I’ve never been on the hiring end of a writing job. I have used the same format to get freelance clients for whom I write. Any thoughts on the fundamental differences between “professional” (for lack of a better term…I’ve been thinking in Spanish all day) and “freelance” cover letters? I think that would be a really helpful distinction as we see more letters from writers who are possibly transitioning.
Amy,
What burb are you in? I just noticed that we may be neighbors.
Though I agree with others that you wouldn’t put family info in the letter unless pitching a parenting pub, another item to remember is that one should use “12,” not twelve.
My biggest concern with this letter is that it is not obvious why it was written. I would have opened with why I am the perfect writer for job x. If the job was for a blogging parent-writer, for example, all of the personal information wouldn’t be irrelevant.
This letter needs a focal point, and it shouldn’t come in the closing line or the reader may not get that far.
To reiterate what I said yesterday — customer focus. What will you do for your customer? Why should your customer hire you? What reasons are you giving?
Freelance writing is a business. What I would carry away from this letter is that the author is self-absorbed, and carries a lot of personal baggage. In fact, it sounds like someone that is going to be trouble — late, and more interested in expanding her horizons than delivering copy.
That’s counterproductive. Write a cover letter that explains why your potential customer is being clever and safe by hiring you to write for them.
oh wow, all this talk about ghostwriting made me realize that I actually ghostwrite for a living.
Let’s see…I started out my career with ghostwriting and it’s only recently that I’ve been published as, well, me.
When I was very new, I submitted ghostwritten clips but I did include a “This piece is only for sampling purposes, don’t use it bla bla bla…” When I began gaining experience though, I knew better, built a portfolio and submitted those for clips.
Phil,
I live in Tinley Park. Feel free to email me. It would be nice to know a local writer.
I struggle with removing the “I” statements as Phil pointed out also.
I find listing links to my articles works well and a simple high point list of my two columns and blog help.
It’s getting into another niche that I find difficult.
This is a great topic and I am learning alot from everyone.
It never occurred to me that you can use ghostwritten pieces as samples. I thought that selling the rights and allowing someone to list themselves as the author would make it inappropriate to claim credit for it. When I see a gig that requires relevant samples, and the only ones I have were ghostwritten, I just don’t apply. Wouldn’t a client be pretty mad to buy something to present as their own only to have the ghostwriter claim it?
Amy,
We are neighbors…I’m about 10 miles east of you. I’ll e-mail you separately.
LS
The ghosted materials I mentioned aren’t written for other writers, but for firms or execs who wouldn’t be seeking writing positions (they would be seeking CFO, CEO, tech, or other non-writing positions). Releases are blinded in such a way that name of firm doesn’t appear and I mention that they’re blinded to protect identities of clients.
I thought I’d try the “Good morning” opening today and see what happens. I’ve had quite a good response with my other letters in the past, but thought I’d give this one a try.
Don’t forget guys the actual email subject line has to be very eye catching too!
Phil,
Just received your email and responded. You’ll be my first writer neighbor.
LS,
I feel the same way you do on the ghostwriting issue, although I can see where there would be cases in which people would need to be able to show ghostwritten samples. I suppose if I were in a situation where all my samples where ghostwritten, I’d feel differently. I think I’d still get my clients’ permission to show the samples to potential clients. I suppose it depends on who you work for and what sort of agreement you’ve signed. Some clients might be fine with the issue while others wouldn’t.
The first line is a bit too close to the first lines of many scam/spam emails (Dear so-and-so, I am Mrs. Blahdeblah from Nigeria and I need your help). An editor reading quickly might trash it right off.