Paragraph 1 and 2 in the cover letter say essentially the same thing. I’d leave the first sentence and cut the rest of the first paragraph. Personally, I like the bulleted list. I wasn’t sure what editing and writing in a college English department meant – it sounds to me like an admin assistant job. If that’s what it was, no shame with that. Provide examples of what you’ve done, and leave that part out anyway. Been a writer for X years is the relevant info here.

I don’t think you need to say you’d be a telecommuting freelance writer since the position is for a freelancer. They can see from your return address where you live and figure it out from there.

The benefits-oriented content is in there, but could be tailored more to the specifics of the position. Also, I think employers are so inured to puffery, they’d probably rather see more specifics to back up some of the claims. You can sell yourself without sounding like you’re bragging. I think someone else said it best – show, don’t tell.

Though my English teacher could have re-worded it, he was making a point. I can’t swear to this, but I believe he was quoting something Mark Twain once said about ending sentences with prepositions.

Of the cover letters I’ve read so far, I haven’t seen any that get into specifics of what they’ve achieved or why they are the right person for the gig. This seems like an important thing to mention, although it doesn’t have to be the pat “I did XX amount of sales” or “I cleaned the Augean Stables” kind of hyperbole. I snagged a gig recently on the strength of a cover letter where I talked about the amount my salary rose at past employers in a certain period of time. I’ve found that if you have an employer in your job history who raised your salary more than five bucks an hour within eight months of starting your job, that kind of thing tends to grab notice; after all, money’s a pretty good testimonial to your performance (in general, anyway; too bad it’s not always true). Of course, your mileage may vary.

Shell: I have no idea what “take the mick” means.

LOL Lauren :O

It means to poke fun of someone, you know, to laugh at someone

You’re right. I often end sentences with prepositions. I believe to always do otherwise is preposterous. HOWEVER, this is a cover letter for a writing job and the author is billing him/herself to be a grammar whiz. I was only saying that for someone in a position like that, it’s probably a good idea to use proper grammar in every sentence of the cover letter.

P.S. Your English teacher’s sentence could be unobtrusively rephrased as “Ending a sentence with a preposition is something which I will not tolerate!”

P.P.S. I agree with Mel, who remarked that saying one’s work requires little to no editing is a tad conceited. Your writing could be wonderful, truly amazing, and an editor still might need to add to it or change it or chop it in half because of length constraints or any number of other reasons.

While I agree that the sentence could have been rewritten so as not to end with a preposition, this is a rule that can be broken…an example for my high school (junior year) English teacher once said: “Ending a sentence with a preposition is a something I will not up with put!”