Paragraph three could be condensed–so many stats and details aren’t needed. Much of paragraph one could be easily rephrased to focus on the client rather than the applicant, as we’ve been discussing. For example, the first sentence could be, “As an EFL teacher with experience writing educational articles and teaching all levels of English, my skills and qualifications would serve McGraw-Hill to great benefit in your part-time ESL/ELT writing position.”

I’ve worked in educational publishing. The thing they want to know first is: do you have teaching experience? I’d move that into your very first paragraph, leaving out what you enjoy reading and navigating. You might want to explain what particularly you can bring that’s new — what do you address about heterogeneous-based teaching, etc., that’s not already being addressed? What gaps do you fill?

Since you seem to have a book under discussion with this company already, I wasn’t sure what kind of freelance writer you mean to be. Are you pitching this book (and, again, what’s new about it? Is it EFL, since it’s for Asia?), or do you want to write teacher guides or curriculum guides, etc? Think about leaving that out, or reducing it to one sentence (“I’m also in discussions about a book with XXX in the Asia division, aimed at EFL special-needs teachers” [or whatever]).

You might want to talk about what McGraw Hill products you’ve taught with and how your approach to teaching coincides with the MGH philosophy. You have a lot of great experience, but I think you really need to cut this down a lot and focus a little more. This is way short, but more along these lines:

“I am an EFL teacher to Junior High and High School students at Emek Hahula [in where?] currently on a full sabbatical. I have taught all levels of English both as a foreign and second language from elementary school to university level courses.

My specialization includes designing lessons plans and writing curriculum to meet a variety of criteria such as heterogeneous based teaching, remedial recovery, and matriculating students. [Are these fields they are weak in? Do they address these issues? Do you have other more relevant topics?]

I write articles for New Teacher Support and am also a contributing writer for English as a Second Language [mention some article titles! This is a great qualification]. I’m also in discussions with XXX in the Asia division about a book aimed at EFL special-needs teachers.

I enclose my resume for your attention and would like to thank you in advance for your time.”

Good luck!

Looks to be working here.

Consider if you were buying a service, like a carpenter. Would you be more impressed with the trade school he attended and courses he took or with any “before and after” photos he could show you of products and testimonials about his work and a description of how he could improve your home?

I just found your blog with all of it’s resources for writers. I thought I would drop you a line.

Starting today, Advice Network, will be running an advice article writing contest, and we’d like to offer you and your readers an invitation-only chance to enter. If you could post about the contest, I’d really appreciate it. Let me know and I will link back to your from my blog (www.advicenetowork.com/blog ) right away.

We are looking for professionals and enthusiasts to write advice articles for the average person in three main categories, real estate, weddings, and running a business.

The winner of the best advice article will receive a new MacBook laptop. And just for entering, they’ll receive a 4-month vendor listing on AdviceNetwork.com, absolutely free. There is no fee to enter the contest, and we don’t require anyone to purchase a vendor listing.

To enter the contest, go here:
http://www.advicenetwork.com/contest

If you want to learn more about Advice Network, go here: http://www.advicenetwork.com/blog/?p=3

Thanks again. We are excited to hear from you and your blog readers.

Regards,
Alex Schoenfeldt
Advice Network
(888) 316-5259
http://www.advicenetwork.com