How to Keep a Bad Day from Becoming a Distraction
December 13, 2007 by Deb Ng
Filed under Writing Tips
I’m having trouble staying focused today. A heated discussion is weighing heavily on my mind and it’s making it hard for me to concentrate on my work. Have you ever had this happen to you, something that has absolutely nothing to do with your writing is keeping you from writing? It’s making me crazy today but I have a few tricks to help call me back to earth.
Distract Yourself from Your Distraction
Today I decided a change of scenery was in order. First I went for a long walk. I take a walk every morning, but this was more of the mind-clearing than the getting exercise variety. Nothing puts life in perspective like a good walk. After my walk I took my five year old to the park and we played for an hour before lunch. Now, I’m not saying you have to find a five year old or even a park, but sometimes the best thing for clearing the head is to get away from whatever it is that’s keeping you from doing your job.
Make Amends
If something is bothering you so much it’s keeping you from working or getting sleep, consider taking steps to resolve the situation. Perhaps an apology is in order, or you just need to clear the air. Say what you have to say, make your resolution, compromise if you have to, and mark the situation “resolved”.
Write About It
You don’t have to publish your feelings for the world to see, but writing about your anger or unhappiness might be just the ticket for pushing all the bad or unsettled feelings out of your mind. Many times, I’ll write about a situation in my journal and feel the weight immediately lifted from my shoulders. Words are so powerful, even if no on will ever see them.
Talk About It
Call a friend or rant buddy and go off on the situation. Get it off your chest and out of your system.
The thing about distractions is they get worse if you don’t nip them in the bud. It’s better to miss an hour or two of work while clearing your head than to sit at your desk getting more frustrated by your lack of focus.
What do you do to get your focus back?
Deb, sorry you’re having a rough day! I think all of your tips are excellent, particularly the idea to take a break and clear your head for an hour rather than wasting 8 hours because you didn’t give yourself time to re-focus. I’m working really hard on compartmentalizing personal stuff and work stuff — which is particularly difficult when you work at home!
kk
Hope your day gets better, Deb.
I usually just play with my pet bunnies. They always cheer me up.
I am a worrier so I often have days where things stick in my mind and crowd out what I ought to be doing. When I have days like that I usually think back to the things in our lives that matter most to us, people like spouse, kids, friends. Gives me a reality adjustment. In a previous job I used to get mega stressed, and whatever was causing the stress used to cloud everything else. One day I thought about people with really difficult jobs, like the nurses and doctors who worked on the baby ward, firemen, police etc … my little website worries just paled into nothing in comparison.
I find that going for a walk helps me to clear my head when I’m having one of those days.
Hope your day is going better now, Deb!
I crank up music–usually something of my son’s–and then will sing my heart out. Thankfully, I can sing and it is definitely a stress buster.
It sucks, don’t it? I’m with Ann G. A good dose of home-brewed karaoke always makes me feel better. So far I haven’t heard any protests from the neighbors when I hook up the microphone to the big speakers, but then again, I can carry a tune.
One bit of advice I took from, of all places, America’s Next Top Model (I have a horrible habit of getting hypnotized by reality show marathons on slow weekends). Sometimes you have to compartmentalize the problem bothering you. Take it and put in in a mental cabinet. Bruce Lee had a similar method, mentally visualizing the problem written on a sheet of paper, then crumpling it up and throwing it away.
Either way, it all boils down to detaching yourself from the situation. Don’t worry, it’s temporary.
Walks help. I have a treadmill so I can still clear my head even when weather is inclement.
Hmmm, I email my friends and rant or post it on my secret blog which is pure rant journal style so know one knows about it. (where it is I mean). I also will do the change of scene thing too. Cedar and I go to the museum or park.
Sometimes a super good day can be just as distracting though. I think that’s why I like things boring most of the time. Smack in the middle is the least stressful place for me. I also try to make myself know that this is temporary. Easy to say, hard to do.
As a final resort I go to bed early. Things tend to look better after some rest and also sometimes sleep is all that helps.
I go to the gym.
Hm. When I feel like this, it only gets worse until I do one thing: Face the problem and deal with it. Sucks, especially when you either don’t want to deal with it or can’t deal with it right away.
But, when you do deal with it, you usually feel a hell of a lot better!
Hi, Deb, sorry you’re having such a bad day.
I think Deb’s right – it’s important to take a pro-active appraoch using any of these ideas, only it’s very hard initially to put into practice when you’re used to a coping strategy that you think is ‘A1′.
With that said, up until a few months ago when I was still in the classroom, I was a first class whiner/complainer – full of hot air.
Moving back to the States put a differentperspective on life – I had to come up with more creative strategies on life nd that ‘hot air’ which interfered with major projects I was beginning to take on.
It’s much better to avoid the stew before it comes to a boil, to I have started to put into practice the ‘walk your way to ideas’ thing. I have found that usually gets the creative juices flowing and the negative energies/stress level down.
Thanks Deb for a great post!
Sorry you’re having a bad day, Deb…and thanks for the tips Deb and everyone else. This is my biggest downfall – I have a very hard time concentrating on work when I’m upset about something.
I’m with Ann…I crank up the music. Music always soothes me and helps me get over just about anything.
These are terrific tips. It’s always easier to sit and brood, than get up and change the way you feel. That’s the most important thing…that we don’t let it distract us to the point of destruction.
Sorry you had a bad day!
Hey,
I keep an online diary, I have never had one before but for some reason I decided to start one.
When I have a bad day or something really ticks me off, I write about it in my diary.
It helps to get it off my chest.
You should see the smoke coming from my angrily typing fingers on one of those days!
LOL!
Chin Up Love!
It sounds like a cream cake day Deb! At times like this you need to spoil yourself.
Remember your tips on freelance writing and having the odd pamper hour here and there? Some uplifting music should do the trick too
I think the long walk advice is the best of all. One day I needed one but was pushing the time I had to catch the bus to get my kids, so I just walked 3.5 miles to get them at school. The memories of that long walk in the early spring stay with me, and can still help clear my head even when getting out in the bitter cold isn’t such a lovely idea.
I also find that a few pieces by Bach make me forget whatever I was doing before. A veteran of hitting deadlines probably has a lot of tools that they know will allow them to spend about 15 minutes forgetting and then they can move on. One of mine is the Concerto for Three Harpsichords, BWV 1063. I honestly don’t know why, but it always works for me.
Cats are a more continuous distraction.
Boy, oh boy, can I ever relate to this! I’ve been having an extremely difficult time staying focused this week because life keeps throwing gigantic ice-filled snowballs at my head. (hate how the snow gets caught in between my glasses, further hindering my focusing abilities)
How have I been dealing?
0 paper journaling in endless rants, raves, and scribbles
0 social networking: I recently put a social networking site I joined eons ago to use and the positive feedback I’ve experienced as a result has really been a boost
0 e-mailing friends
0 coffee talk with my mom
It looks like there’s a light at the end of the tunnel, but the journey is what’s strengthening us all. Words are more harmful (and distracting) than many believe . . .
I’m with Ann and the others. Music (especially something fun and upbeat) helps me shake out of my funk. If that doesn’t work, then I go for a walk to clear my head or rant about it in my journal.
Hope your day gets better soon!
In response to Jenn’s comment – if anyone wants snow to throw back, we got another 5 inches a couple nights ago and they are predicting a nor’easter on Sunday that will dump another 20 or so, so I have plenty of snow for the taking- then you can throw some back life’s way.
I just finished up one of the projects hanging over my head, so that’s one down and one to do by the weekend…
Good post!
And I’m not only saying that because these could be my thoughts.
We all seem distracted if we do what we don’t like best. Maybe with something else more important for us, still in the back of our minds.
But, enough distraction,
keep up the good work,
Regards.
I had to deal with this on Monday when I found out a friend died over the weekend, and I had a deadline that afternoon. Concentrating was nearly impossible.
A friend recommended I set a timer and had to work until the timer went off. So I did that, and once the writing started, it all came easily, and I was done in no time.
To add on to Erik’s note, years ago (won’t say how many), I had a college interview at Northwestern. I knew it didn’t go well, so I walked the 5+ miles home to calm down.
My day yesterday went the same way! Usually I walk to clear my head, but yesterday that option wasn’t available, so I cleaned. Whenever I’m really stressed, I have a very, very clean house.
Hey Deb,
Great post! I usually read online comics such as Foxtrot, Calvin & Hobbes, Peanuts, etc. to distract my mind from unwanted thoughts. Humming to my favorite romantic songs, watching cartoons, funny sitcoms and light-hearted movies really help me to de-stress and provides great relief from my bad mood. However, I think cooking is the perfect remedy for my troubled mind. Its a good way to vent out your frustrations in chopping the veggies. But, if these unwanted thoughts continue to upset me, then I simply shut them out and get back to finishing off my work before deadline. Ultimately, I can’t let these silly distractions to affect my work.
To Ann G: We’re experiencing the same kind of weather here (in Maine) . . . so, I can shovel away from frustrations today. We’re supposed to get belted with another storm Sunday night, so it looks like I’ll be able to shovel away a lot of frustrations this week!!
Ahh, another timely post (even though I’m reading this 2 days later…). This happens to me from time to time, like today. A 2 hour snow delay somehow turned my house into the neighborhood drop off until bus time. That left me with 7 kids here until 9:45! Flushed my nicely scheduled work day right down the toilet. I’m still trying to recoup, even though it’s lunchtime now. I think my solotion for the day has to be, as Nike says, to “Just do it!” Sometimes when I try to distract myself or take a break to get over it, I just dwell more. Time to remind myself my work day will get back on track faster if I get it started!
Thanks for listening to my vent.