Don’t Quit Your Day Job on the Fly
January 6, 2008 by Jennifer Chait
Filed under Freelance Writing
~ By Jennifer Chait
The theme this week at FWJ seems to be working smarter not harder, originating with the recent post Deb wrote about responsibility in the writing world.
In the comments, some said that they wish established writers would teach them how to market themselves, so they won’t have to take $3 gigs. Still others commented that we can’t blame writers who take these cheap gigs because they’re just trying to make a living.
Backwards thinking…
At writing and work-at-home forums I often see threads that start out, “Hey, I just quit my job to stay home with my kids, I need all the advice you can give me ASAP about how to be a writer.”
That’s a backwards way to go about becoming a work-at-home parent. If you don’t know how to market your writing, if you don’t know how to land higher paying jobs, then learn how. Once you learn how, then make the switch to full-time writing. It’s hard to learn the business side of writing on-the-job. Not to mention, that like all jobs, freelancing is not for everyone.
Being a parent who works from home should only happen if it’s beneficial to your kids and you. I wonder what value staying home with your children has if you can’t afford it. When you’re low on money it’s stressful for everyone, which isn’t healthy for families.
Planning first:
I currently make enough money freelancing to stay-at-home with my son and pay all the bills. That didn’t happen overnight. When my son was born I wanted to stay home with him but also knew that I couldn’t afford it yet. I was in college and also writing part-time. I wasn’t willing to take low paying wages for writing, so I did work outside my home as well.
While working, I’d tag-team with my partner. If he wasn’t around, Cedar went to day care or to college with me (Cedar’s probably one of the youngest people ever to go through anatomy). I hated having him in day care, but I knew that if I took the time to learn all I could about writing, it would end soon.
When Cedar was three I was able to be at home full-time and I still am. Three years is long, but it’s also not too bad when you consider that I now have the rest of my life to work at home successfully.
Before I felt comfortable quitting my day job I spent time planning. These are things you can do to get ready to go full-time as a writer.
- I read every book out there on freelance writing – I stuck to books that discussed how to get decent paying work.
- I visited blogs like this and writer’s forums to see what other people were doing that worked.
- I bookmarked tons of places to find work and researched places I could write for – which back then was mainly magazines and businesses.
- I made sure that jobs were coming in. I queried more magazines than you’d believe and sold my services to local businesses.
Once I had enough incoming work (and money) I quit my day job.
Planning is hard but…
There’s a difference between wanting and needing to be home with our families. I know there are people who have limited options. However, for many SAHPs a better choice is to learn the business and then go full-time.
Planning takes time. Time sucks when you want to be home with your kids. However, in the long run, planning is useful. Planning is a great way to avoid $3 gigs.
You can skip the planning part of a freelancing career. It’s risky, but every so often it does pay off. However, taking that risk with kids in tow, who need both time and monetary support, is a risk maybe not worth taking.
Among other places, you can visit Jennifer Chait at Offbeat Homes, 7 Babes A Blogging, and Tree Hugging Family.
Excellent post, as usual. Because we’re forever seeing ads and websites saying “Work at Home! Anyone Can Do It!” it’s easy to see how one could believe high paying gigs are easy to come by.
Two things worked in my favor – The first is that I freelanced for a couple of years before quitting my job. Plus I spent my lunch hours and spare time looking for gigs and researching. I always say research first, then decide whether or not you can do it. I read websites, blogs and books and I read job ads all the time. Not because I was looking but I wanted to know market rates and what editors and web masters were looking for.
The other thing working in my favor was my publishing experience. It helped me know the ins and outs of the business and prepared me for rejection.
It’s not easy to work at home and not everyone can do it.
I wonder if a lot of the WAHM’s who get into writing were stay at home moms who didn’t expect to have a job, but saw writing as a way to bring in a little extra money. An extra $30 so or week for the salon or some new clothes. Then they get trapped in $3/article land because they don’t take the time to better their craft (because it wasn’t really their craft to begin with) or look for higher paying jobs (because then they wouldn’t have the time to write the $3 articles and they have come to depend on their pocket change). I have a feeling that is the case for a lot of WAHM moms, but it is obviously not all of us.
Jennifer is right – planning is the key. We’ve talked about this before and I’ve talked about the years of planning that I’ve done in preparation for doing this full time – which will happen this Sept when youngest is in school full time.
Working for yourself takes planning and dedication. It’s not like getting hired somewhere where you can just show up the first day, do what you’re told, and get a paycheck at the end of the week. In addition to doing the actual writing, you’ve got to market yourself, do things to improve your skills, book keep, keep a calendar so you don’t miss your deadlines, and (to steal Deb’s words) make the job hunt part of the job. I’m sure I’m missing a lot of stuff in there, too. That all takes time away from the actual writing, but it’s what it takes to get higher paying jobs.
If you’re not taking at least an two or three hours each week (more if this is a full time job) to do job related things that aren’t writing, you will probably not get much further than you are right now.
I’m one of those mothers who had to turn to working from home, not for extra cash, but for my full time income. I have to spend as much time as possible looking for jobs, querying, sending in finished work, and then, looking for more.
I almost became trapped in a low, low paying job. Then I got a clue, quit it, and headed out to make a change in my freelancing. It is working so far, but slowly. Scary thing to do, but it has to be done to get ahead.
A second income never hurts.
I am not yet a freelancer but will jump into the pool one of these days. Other work keeps me busy, but I love to lurk and read freelance boards to see what is out there.
What I see you saying is “SAHM’s (and others who choose low paying writing jobs) want to be shown how to market from professional freelancers.” What this means to me is that they want to be walked through step by step and told exactly what to do and they will go out and do it and be successful.
This is silly. Anyone who spends any time on this or other freelance writing boards finds tons of information about how to market. The key is that there is no one right way, just like there is no one right way to write. Academic writing is different from blogging; writing for one magazine is different than writing for another. Everything has to be fine tuned for the individual market. Learning this is part of the trade.
My suggestion to those wannabe’s that don’t feel confident going it alone is perhaps to approach a professional freelance writer with more work than time who might want to have an intern (preferably paid of course since unpaid is another whole blog and not something I want to get into at the moment). Mentors are used in many different settings, and writing should be no different. After all, if these people are willing to take $2 and $3 jobs, why not help someone else for a bit more money, better experience, and (of course) networking. Whether the writer wants to work with you is another story.
Great post. Planning ahead is definitely key. I’m a SAHM/WAHM who started freelancing as a web content writer two years ago while I worked outside the home as an editorial assistant on a part-time basis. It took me about 10 months before I felt confident enough to quit my job. You can’t just quit your job to be at home with your kid(s) and expect to be pulling in a full-time freelancing income the next day (or even month). It takes time, planning, researching, querying, applying, learning.
There’s another point here that I feel strongly about. I find there are so many of these moms looking for any way on Earth (including writing–which isn’t for everybody) to be able to make money from home because they’re so desperate to BE WITH THEIR KIDS. However, they don’t realize that working from home actually involves WORKING FROM HOME! I didn’t quit my job to freelance so I could spend more time with my daughter (now daughters)–I quit because I wanted to work for myself, create my own hours, find my own clients, and enjoy increased flexibility. My oldest daughter still goes to day care twice a week (on the days I used to work at my old office). If she didn’t, I wouldn’t be able to get nearly as much work done as I do.
That’s not to say working from home with kids afoot can’t work. It can (and does), for myself included, but that doesn’t mean it’s a walk in the park.
That said, I prefer freelancing from home, even with a four-year-old and a two-month-old around (thank goodness for a husband who’s taking extra time off work), to working in an office any time. But that’s just me.
Great comments everyone. I wanted to point out Renee’s comment because she’s completely right; there is no one right way to do things, you have to experiment. Also, no matter how many books you read or mentors you have, it’s still not 100% that you’ll make it at freelancing. Like any job, some people are good at it (or get lucky) others don’t fare as well.
Also, Star said “A second income never hurts.” I’m not sure if she means that the SAHP income doesn’t hurt or having a partner who works outside the home. But to comment on that; when I went FT freelance I was basically single. My partner and I got back together for a short time and I had his income to count on but didn’t give up any of my jobs. That’s a good thing since we aren’t together now.
I think if you do try to work at home it’s best to be sure you can totally support yourself OR be 100% sure that your partner is dependable because stuff happens. Counting on someone else to support you while you learn to freelance always represents at least a minor risk.
I think many people fail because they don’t have a well thought out plan and there are some that give up too easily. You’re going to make mistakes and that’s ok. You have to pick yourself up and keep moving learn from those mistakes don’t let them keep you down.
I get approached a lot on my main website by moms wanting to know how I made it with my business. It’s not magic and what works for me might not work for someone else. I wrote about this on my main website yesterday. When I left the corporate setting, my business was already generating enough income for me to make it on my own.
Freelance writing is my new venture but before I made the leap I did a lot of research in fact I’m still doing it.
Working for myself has been a goal ever since I was a child. I did what was needed to make that happen. It has taken a lot of hard work, research, and sacrifices but I’ve made it and it was worth it.
I don’t know if I would have made it in freelancing if not working traditional (reporter) jobs first. My first two clients, and most of my income my first few years, were from my two previous employers.
Unfortunately, I was too comfortable with that for too long and didn’t develop good marketing skills (which I hope are still improving) until my fifth year on my own. That’s not the way to do it.
This was a great post and the comments are great as well. I agree – planning gets you everywhere. Careful, calculated risks that have been weighed for pros and cons build success.
Leaps of faith land in a splat, people.
I get why people make the choices they do. People want freedom, quality time and the life they always believed they’d have. They get something else, and they’re looking for a way out – fast.
Fast gets you splat, too, only against a brick wall this time.
Think, learn, plot, observe others, strategize. Then make a move. A part-time one. Move in slowly. Be like commander on a battlefield – they only say, “CHARGE!” when they know they’re either going to conquer it all or be slaughtered.
And Carla is right: Working from home means WORKING. You have only changed the location and the employer. You have not changed the fact that you still need to invest time.
I work from a home office to save on rental costs and commuting time. It was a business choice, NOT AN EMOTIONAL CHOICE. I see my children more, yes, and that’s a benefit. But my toddler goes to daycare five days a week, six hours a day, because Daddy needs to make sure she has a warm home and food. My teen understands that well.
And I have a plan B. If working from home doesn’t work out, have an exit strategy and a plan B you can fall back on.
Note: For those who’ve tried to click the link to my site, I apologize for my stupid typo. It’s been corrected and feel free to come on over. (Thank you, Opal!)
I agree with the points, but I also want to say that while planning and preparing are important, it’s also important to jump on it when an opportunity arises.
I work from home as a freelance writer, but I didn’t transition into it nor plan ahead of time. A few months ago my husband and I moved across the country so he could get a PhD. The area we moved to didn’t have many full-time job opportunities.
I could have kept searching for a full-time job I didn’t really want, but instead I pursued my freelance writing dream. I’m not yet at the income level I’d like to be, but I feel great about the progress I’ve made in my freelance writing career.
That’s what I mean by jumping on an opportunity. Yes, planning is very important, but eventually you really just have to take the leap!
Great post. In the end it comes down to choices. Are you willing to do what it takes or not? For me, I sort of fell into freelancing after an employment experience that made me realize the truth of what many had told me over the years, “YOU SHOULD BE WORKING FOR YOURSELF.” It took an a** at work one day for that truth to hit me and become stronger than the fear of not having a steady paycheck.
But I’ve been writing for years. I have a degree. I also have outstanding layout/design skills, web design skills and I’m pretty good at marketing – having had communications jobs for years. Of my skill set, my writing is probably the less developed – and it’s still marketable. I have turned to marketing myself in all of these areas. I live in a rapidly growing area with new businesses coming all the time who may not have money for a copywriter, a marketing consultant, and a graphic design firm – but are thrilled to find someone like me who can do it all. Will my work ever win stellar advertising and marketing awards in NYC? Heck, no, but it is good quality work that I enjoy and so far is paying the bills.
And I can’t stress enough – network, network, network. My business has come from:
Previous employers
Friends
Spouses of friends
A huge amount has come from a business networking group I joined
Going to Chamber of Commerce mixers
Scouting boards like the one here.
Pretending I have guts even when I don’t.
Case in point. I saw an ad on Craigslist locally a couple of days ago to redo a brochure in InDesign. It was a simple editing job. The company was less than a mile from my house. Instead of responding to the Craigslist email, I called, introduced myself, told them where I was, they asked if I could come over, I said sure and voila. Instant job. They decided to do more than a simple edit – so something that I thought would be sort of a cheap intro, is actually going to be a pretty decent paying gig – with the very great possibility much more will follow.
I projected a belief in myself and it worked.
And visiting blogs like this with such a great, knowledgable community to draw from is definitely worth my time. I learn something every time I come here.
Planning is all fine and well when you have a day job, and thus a choice, but let’s get off our collective soapbox and spare a thought for those poor souls who need a job–any job–and can’t find it where they live. No job means no cash, no cash means no moving…writing for some is the only way they can bring in ANY money at all. And you can scream plan, plan, plan all you want, but when your savings account is flatter than the job market from months or even years of hunting in a horrible market, three dollar jobs will always end up better than starving to death.
Although I know this isn’t true for every beginning writer, I’ve had quite a few people ask me for more information about “writing from home.” They typically make comments such as “I’ve love to work in my PJs all day” or “My friends say I write great emails” or “Writing seems easy.”
IMHO, quite a few beginning writers want to be led by the hand because they don’t want to put in the time, effort and work that’s required to become a professional writer. They’re simply looking for a way to make money at home, and they’ve heard that it’s possible through writing. For them, whether they have the aptitude or real desire to write is irrelevant.
I tend to think that the best writers–and the ones who become real professionals–are dedicated to the craft and are willing to approach freelance writing as a serious business rather than a “jump in and swim” hobby.
Steve makes a good point. But even writers who start out in the $3-an-article market can plan for the future. They can hone their craft and seek out higher paying work as their skills develop.
Ok I don’t want to sing a “Oh Poor is Me” song but I think the post (while making some good points) discusses this in a perfect world where people have the day job to fall back on but a couple of people here have already stated that when there isn’t a day job to consider then what are the rest of us supposed to do? I was in that position. I lost my job when I had to take an early maternity leave. My FMLA was exhausted and my Dr’s (all cardiologists) wouldn’t allow me to return after the baby was born until I had a very costly surgery.
Long story short: Since then no one wants to hire a mom with 4 kids and a heart condition… so the day job is gone. I planned and lurked in places before I had the baby. Now here I am – Steve A. is right $3 was better than nothing.
The plan this year (now that I have a couple of gigs that provide steady income) is to learn how to market myself and avoid the $3 gigs. If that means asking someone “Hey how did you get started? What marketing strategies worked for you?” Then slap my a$$ and call me Shirley because that’s what I will do and I will take that information and see how I can apply it to MY situation, location, and my marketing budget.
Nikki, I don’t honestly think that being a single mom dragging my son to college classes, working one FT job, doing homework, then working a second job freelancing is “a perfect world” situation. A perfect world situation would be that I could stay home and simply be with my son, no worries, right from the start. Each person’s situation is different.
I get that there are cases like Steve’s and your’s where maybe there isn’t the job available for whatever reason. I do think that people who have zip, and I mean totally zero, other options besides writing $3 articles for a living are rare cases.
In eight years I’ve talked with countless freelancers and met exactly one person who really had no other option than staying home — if you take the time to email and talk with people considering freelance work I think you’d find very few in the all or nothing situation. Most of the time if you dig a little, people will admit they could do something else as they learn how to freelance productively.
The people I was thinking of when I wrote this seem to be of the mind set that quitting their job (a job they already have) and starting to freelance is a simple plan, a good way to make money quickly while they stay at home. Clearly it’s not, as you’ve noted. There will always be extreme cases but that’s not really what this post addresses.
IF you do have the means to do something else as you learn the trade, is more along the lines of what I wish people would think about.
I agree with Jennifer.
In a perfect world I would not have gone back to work after my daughter was born but the reality was I had to. I was, still am, a single mom. I was also in school and working on my business part-time.
When my daughter started talking almost every morning she would say, “Mommy please stay home!” Oh the guilt! lol Although I wanted to I didn’t have that luxury I had to work. I did promise her that one day I would turn her dream (and mine) into a reality.
About a year later the company I worked for closed. They lost their contract with the military. It was their only contract. I didn’t think that was too bright but that’s another story. A few thousand people were without a job. We had warning and the employees knew about it almost a year in advance so I did plan accordingly. I was able to work for myself.
What surprised me were the ones who hadn’t made plans for that even though they knew that the job was ending. They had plenty of time to prepare but a few of them didn’t do that.
@ Nikki – You want that free copy yet?
@ Jennifer – You’re so right. People put on blinkers and refuse to see the possibilities, opportunities and potential solutions. I’m constantly amazed at how quick people assume there is only one solution – theirs.
@ Morgan – Everyone thinks freelancers and writers live the grand life of freedom and creative expression. “You’re so lucky to work from home!” Why? I work the same number of hours as someone in an office. Only the location is different. “You can work in your pjs!” Sure – and I look damned stupid when the Fedex guy delivers something or when an unexpected client knocks on the door. “You can work when you feel like it!” Oh yeah, right. Like, when a deadline is coming up and I’m putting in full days and nights? Or did the person mean dropping everything and losing income to have a day off? Last time I checked, working from home didn’t mean flexible vacation.
This has developed into an interesting conversation. I’m a single SAHM as well and I’ve struggled on the poverty line for two years since my divorce ‘learning the ropes’. The fact is, you have to get your feet under you before you can begin. In my situation I suffer every day from a lack of confidence so building the nerve and belief in myself has taken years of hard work. This year I have my feet firmly planted and am moving to the next level.
The fact is, sometimes there are very few options. I found myself raising two wonderful kids with no skills, no former work experience, and not even a high school graduation. I’m what they consider unemployable at the government job centers. I got by on a meager pension that barely kept us in clothes and a roof over our heads. I’ve been so thankful that my bank allowed me to take over my exhusbands mortgage or the rising rental in this area would have put us out in the street. Even if I could get a job outside of the home it would not pay enough to cover the cost of putting my youngest in daycare. It’s a rock and a hard place.
I’m finally starting to turn that around but it has taken two years of hard work building first myself, my skills, and then my networks. I’m still learning every single day and working harder than anyone who has a nine-to-five. I think that’s what prospective freelancers have to understand. In the beginning working for yourself is the hardest job you’ll do. I even found being a mother is easier than this because of natural mothering instincts.
Thankfully this IS a perfect world because we have these incredible opportunities. The hardships make us stronger and ultimately push us in the direction we need to go. For some, the leap is the risk that sends them back to the office job. At least when they look back on life they won’t regret never having tried.
Oh, and I took $5 jobs originally. It wasn’t because it was all I could get. It was because it was all I thought I was worth. I think the trouble is that there is so much stigma on the fact that we do something ‘anyone can do’. Prospective clients undervalue us and if we come from a background of undervaluing ourselves it is hard to build up a realistic perspective of what your worth. Even now I’m sure I work at a rate far below what I am probably worth but I don’t have the faith in myself to feel I can ask for more.
Much, much, much to think about. Thank you for the thought provoking entry and for all your incredible comments!
@James,
Why is it that some people automatically assume that just because you work at home you have a lot of free time? When I went on vacation, I worked not as much as I normally do, but I still had to make sure my business was ok.
@Rebecca,
You raised some excellent points. I do think some people take a lower paying jobs because they believe that is all they are worth. I’ve seen this during a few of my blog travels.
Six years ago when I started my business on a part-time basis I had my doubts thankfully I had some great mentors that helped me out. When I started freelance writing, almost a month ago now, I had my doubts; however, they weren’t as strong. I did a lot of research and still have a lot to learn, and I thought positive thoughts. I keep telling myself I’m worth it and so are you.
I checked out your website I really like it.
I think everyone has made such great – no Excellent points on this.
@Jennifer – I understand that you were aiming more at the people who knew an end was coming or knew this was what they were going to or wanted to do. I was never going to out and out quit my job and I did a lot of researching while I was home, before I got the letter telling me I was let go. Still I thought I would have a job to return to and could start slowly, like you recommended.
This is my 2nd semester back at school and this time I will be sticking Noah in the college daycare while I attend classes on campus.
@James – I am still thinking about your offer – I haven’t ruled it out but I have become a big skeptic of the ebook since my one and only purchase, jaded I know but I am considering it.
I have to add that I think I have come a long way this year… but I’ve also had some setbacks, my point should have been that while I agree with Jennifer’s article I know that planning doesn’t always have a chance to happen the way it should.
I started full-time freelancing as a WAHM 26 years ago, but that was in a time when companies and associations valued writers (some still do) and offered a living wage, not an insult. I was sole support of my family for many years there. It was possible to make $50K and above. And this was before the Internet was in full force and those Craigs listings were available making “everyone” a publisher. I do see the pendulum swinging back a little–it helps when aggregators of ads don’t honor the cheapies by relisting them–thanks, Deb! But to the people who say they live in a low-wage area and this is better than prevailing ages, I do always want to say: You live on the Internet. Geography is no longer a factor.
@ Nikki – It’s a free copy, as I’d mentioned. There isn’t any risk. But I can’t send you one if you don’t have an email. Drop me an email if you decide you’d like a free copy and I’ll happily send you one.
@ Opal – Oh man, you have no idea how often I complain about this. I have so many buddies dropping in unexpectedly at all times, and they have yet to figure out why I can’t drop what I’m doing to go play. Some get upset when I can’t visit. Hey, do I go drop in and hang out on the construction site or in their office?
@Opal & James: – You’re so right! I homeschool my kids (and teach at a co-op), THEN I write…and still people think that it’s an easy, bonbon-filled life. ???
@Steve A & Nikki – I think there are truly quite a few folks out there who really need income NOW, and many more who match Rebecca’s description of writers who think they aren’t worth much because they are just starting out. I know I was thrilled to get a few dollars for my first couple of articles – but then I started researching and realized that I could earn more. I read a couple of good books and learned to write a query letter…sold an article for $150…it was hard work, and nerve-wracking, but it happened.
I’ve had ups and downs since then but finally have a manageable schedule (remember the homeschooling?) with a steady income…good for me…work I love…can’t fully support myself on this, but I need stability right now and don’t have time to write full time yet.
Communities like this are the new writers’ best resource – so many BTDT stories, ideas, tips and, most especially, encouragement. I know I’d never have applied for About.com and gone through their grueling Prep (twice!) without Deb’s advice and the support of other writers who’d done the same thing.
Such an interesting thread, and so respectful of others’ opinions
A big shout-out to the homeschooling moms out there! I respect the dedication to the children and the hard work you all put into schooling.
I would just like to add my two cents worth: with school, errands, mounds of homework, and freelancing on the side, I get about 4 hours of sleep (if I’m lucky). That’s no reason for me to take low paying jobs, because I’m trying to build a decent reputation for myself. In the mean time, I can plan and apply for jobs that showcase my skills for their true value. We’re ALL working hard.
I’m not picking at anyone in particular, but I know that there’s always an option for employment. The government pays all education related expenses for unmarried or very poor mothers – including day care. That means that one can receive a high school diploma at your local tech school with little fuss. I believe that they will also provide a living expenses stipend, but I’m not sure.
After one has a diploma, the government can pay for day care, while a mother earns a meager living. I can name a handful of companies that will hire a high-school graduate AND make provisions for disabilities.
Sure all that is hard work, but I know for a fact that there’s always a way out. I certainly feel for those with financial difficulties, but freelance writing is not a sure way to get out of the hole, especially when there are more lucrative opportunities waiting on your doorstep.
I also wonder where the very poor WAHMs find the money for an internet connection, a computer, and all the accompanying software. I apologize, but I find it a little strange that a mother would put technology before diapers. I may be a little slanted in my opinion, though.
~Respectfully yours,
CA
Unfortunately, when it comes to international relations, governments do vary. Mine for example pays only a bare percent of childcare but I could get a pension if I return to full time school. Of course, that pension is even less than the parenting pension I get as a stay at home single mother and we only just get by on that. That pension will be completely gone in two years when my youngest starts full-time school so unless I’ve turned my dream of a fulltime writing career into reality I will be heading out into the workforce even if it means starting as a kitchen hand at McDonalds.
This year, with my youngest starting Kindergarten, I’ve finally got some freedom to move when it comes to opportunities for growth outside of the home. I can take on a part time class schedule if I can find one that fit around both kid’s school hours. Of course, course fees are a pinch idea but a necessity I save for.
I don’t think any career choice is supposed to be easy. I think there is an advantage to how hard Freelancing can be. Only those truly serious about this as a career choice would ever stick it out. Only those who can’t imagine doing anything else with their lives would have the courage to push through and make it work.
As for the expense of being online, it is a case of priorities. We forgo many luxuries to get the bare necessaries. For me, my connection is necessary and I’d rather go without movies, tv, holidays, fancy bath soaps, and new clothes so that I can be online to connect with other writers and find work.
That’s the way finance works with everything. You can make the slimmest budget work if you’re willing to sacrifice. I hear people complain that $40,000 is just scraping buy, but I do fine with one third of that. It’s not the height of luxury, there is a lot we go without, but in the end my kids are happy, well adjusted and loved (and sometimes un-diapered) while I get to chase my dream career. That’s what matters most to me and that is priceless.
@James,
I’m right there with you at times I rant about that also. Regardless of how often I explain my schedule, and the fact that it isn’t “easy” some of my buddies just don’t get it. Sighs. I’ve been seriously thinking about having one follow me around for the day so they can see how “easy” it really is.
@Nancy P,
It’s always nice to meet other homeschooling parents. My four-year old daughter is homeschooled. I’m happy that I found this community it’s been a great resource for a newbie like myself.
@Caffeine Addict,
It sounds as though you and I have something in common I get between three to five hours sleep nightly. I’m usually awake by 3:30. I don’t need an alarm clock it’s just how I’m wired even as a child I would get up early. My parents “loved” that. When I worked out of the home, my daughter would awaken early. Oh that was lovely! When I told my mom about that she got was pleased. Paybacks I guess…
@ Caffeine – I live in Canada, where I’m thankful to have nearly 100% free health care and my daycare expenses chopped to $7 a day with a $100 government subsidy each month. Women get 1 month of paid leave from any job after they have a child and $500 each month (at least, many provinces add to that amount) until the child is 18. I believe the poverty line in Canada these days to be $16,000 per year.
That life is not the reality for my American friends, who go bankrupt if they need antibiotics for bronchitis or who have children and need to get the hell back to their job within five weeks of delivering or they lose their job. As far as I know, there are no subsidies for children and daycare either. I have no idea how people in the U.S. manage to live well unless they’re making serious money.
@ Rebecca – In the end my kids are happy, well adjusted and loved (and sometimes un-diapered) while I get to chase my dream career. That’s what matters most to me and that is priceless. I love my kids, too. That was nice to hear, because it made me smile and think of them.
James,
Off topic, but would like to hear from a native about health care in Canada. I know one other writer there (IT World, Canada) and he says it works fine, but here in the States a lot of politicians and some business commentators say it doesn’t work because you can’t get anything but life-saving-type care with any speed and that many procedures (e.g., MRI, EEG, EKG) are hard to come by unless there are very noticeable symptoms.
We’ve had health issues in my family (nothing too major, but didn’t know that til some tests memtioned above were conducted), so I’m very interested in your thoughts, particularly as I go through Presidential candidates proposals.
Thanks,
Nah, it’s not like that at all. We may wait a week or two for rests or whatever, but that’s about it. We get health care and don’t go broke.
Not sure why anyone would want to go for tests with no symptoms, but there are places that handle that, too.
Shoot me your email at james (at) jcme.ca and I’ll write you back with my thoughts.
Thanks,
I will write you separately. It wasn’t no symptoms, but they weren’t very noticeable in the instance (my daughter) I have in mind. Again, turned out to be minor, but I watch health care with a lot of interest as a result.
I’ll write you separately in the am. Thanks.
@James – Thankfully my husband is in the union so his health care plan here in the U.S. is far better than average.
But I keep looking at what drives stay-home/work-home moms. I made a vow years ago that I would not go back to work until my children were mature. After looking for work when my youngest turned 11 and finding that the secretarial jobs I could easily have qualified for were paying $8.50 to $9 an hour to start, I had to question if buying a new wardrobe, increasing gas consumption (no public transportation in much of Vermont), and paying for the additional wear and tear on the car were worth it. In the end, the answer is no.
I have a mix of high paying jobs and a few that aren’t as high as I’d like but they pay before I do the writing which guarantees the payment up front. My highest paid gig is now a month late paying me and is on the third round of excuses as to why they can’t possibly pay yet. I’ve been promised pay by Friday after threatening small claims, so I’ll see what happens.
But comments about the expenses a new mom faces hits home. My neighbor’s 19 year old just had a baby. Definitely not an ideal situation, and worse is why she did it. She’d heard that if she had a baby as a teen, the state would support her and the baby allowing her to go to college at no charge. As is turns out, she was denied state aid because she had a job paying $8 an hour before the baby was born. They expect her to live on $8 an hour and pay for formula, diapers, car expenses, daycare, and rent (small one-bedroom is $900 a month in this area). Five days after having her son, she went back to work because she had no other choice. She needed the money. She’s now gaining WIC assistance that helps with formula and some groceries, but all in all, her expenses are her own responsibility and she and her boyfriend who have a combined income of $15 an hour are having to survive. That drives me nuts.
As for the presidential elections, it’s funny I’m on dish network and they have this questionnaire right now that takes your answers and matches you to your ideal candidate. I took it and the answer I got was nothing like I’d expected, so it’s caused me to look at the options again. In the end, the questionnaire said Bill Richardson is my best match. I didn’t even know who he was until then.
Ann G.,
I like a lot of what Richardson has to say, but he’ll probably be out of the race by Feb 5.
Not to get into a political discussion, but health care is an issue that all but puts a line in the sand between Dems and Reps.
Like many others have said in this thread, I got to the point I’m at by pounding away while working a full time job and taking care of a baby. It took years but now I’m there.
I agree that many people are looking for a magic answer and there isn’t one. You have to work at it and you have fail a number of times in order to succeed.
And there’s another thing. I’ve always been willing to help anyone who asks but many people don’t want the advice given. I’ve critiqued the work of many writers who came back angry at me saying I don’t know what I’m talking about. Their work is perfect, their mother tells them so all the time. (Seriously, I get these.)
None of us have all the answers but if you ask for advice be prepared to take it and use it if you want to improve.
@Cynthia
I get in advance copies of books all the time and there are dozens of authors who have had their family members proofread or “critique” their books and because their family members say it is great, they know it must be–their family would NEVER lie to them. I’ve received numerous “hate emails” when I’ve shot down a book in my review, so I’m not surprised you’ve heard the “their mother says so” line.
@ Cynthia – Hear, hear! That’s so true. People ask questions and want to hear they’re right or that they’re going about things the right way. When they hear they’re not, they get defensive, as if they’ve been criticized or attacked. Unfortunately, these are the people that won’t be successful in their endeavors. Feedback is crucial to creating a better business; if you can’t receive it gracefully and with diplomacy AND THEN APPLY CHANGES TO BETTER YOURSELF OR YOUR SERVICES, then your business will fail.
I am a chronically ill single mom. Working from home is the only way I can work. For me, freelance writing was something I stumbled upon as a means of supplementing my work/income when the other stuff I was doing slowed down. What has been interesting to see is how I am now finding more work and much better pay with freelance writing than all of the other things I did, combined. It is taking time, and it is a LOT of work – but I am so grateful for the technology that allows me to work at all, and for sites such as this one which help me find work for good pay. I also appreciate all the great advice, helps, articles, etc from those who are also in the trenches. I don’t know how I would have gotten this far without people like you sharing your stories and wisdom. Thank you!
Thanks again Deb for your hard work. I have two gigs that came from your list. I am working myself back into writing after a two year break. So I have a full time job, 12 credits of college classes, 2 kids, 2 cats, and my husband. Life is busy, but if you want the freedom of the freelance life, you have to work hard. Unfortunately, you might have to take some of those low paying gigs to get some experience under your belt. I did. I also think it is a great idea to ask for mentoring low paying work from an expeienced freelancer. Your blog, Deb, has been the biggest help for me.
Thanks for all of your hard work.
@James – Alright, You’ve got my interest – I am going to move the website I used to have and start promoting it more. I expect to work at that this next week. If the offer still stands, you can send to me at guiltyparents{AT}gmail{DOT}com.
@Caffeine Addict – I’ve never put Internet over the kids’ well being or needs. I’ve been known to pull them from extra cirricular activities if they get too expensive. I know you may not have been speaking of me in particular but I never mentioned being a single mom, I just happen to be a married mom with 4 children and crappy health insurance (as many Americans do) and a medical disability that the Government doesn’t recognize though I’ve had it since birth. I’ve watched the dollar signs roll through a potential employer’s head when they hear “32 year old mom with a pacemaker” their brains are busy calculating how much it will cost THEM to employ me and provide coverage for me…
There are many ways to afford Internet now a days, and if you are familiar with Freecycle (LOVE IT!) There are many people who have what you need for free as well as you have the opportunity to help someone else.
Again, Interesting topic to learn how many people are making it and their reasons for doing so as well as their drive… Thanks in advance James!
@ Nikki – Coming right up. Once you receive it, feel free to get back to me and tell me if it’s helped – or post in this thread; I’m sure there are quite a few people who would be interested in how you fare