@Caffeine Addict – I’ve never put Internet over the kids’ well being or needs. I’ve been known to pull them from extra cirricular activities if they get too expensive. I know you may not have been speaking of me in particular but I never mentioned being a single mom, I just happen to be a married mom with 4 children and crappy health insurance (as many Americans do) and a medical disability that the Government doesn’t recognize though I’ve had it since birth. I’ve watched the dollar signs roll through a potential employer’s head when they hear “32 year old mom with a pacemaker” their brains are busy calculating how much it will cost THEM to employ me and provide coverage for me…

There are many ways to afford Internet now a days, and if you are familiar with Freecycle (LOVE IT!) There are many people who have what you need for free as well as you have the opportunity to help someone else.

Again, Interesting topic to learn how many people are making it and their reasons for doing so as well as their drive… Thanks in advance James!

Thanks for all of your hard work.

I get in advance copies of books all the time and there are dozens of authors who have had their family members proofread or “critique” their books and because their family members say it is great, they know it must be–their family would NEVER lie to them. I’ve received numerous “hate emails” when I’ve shot down a book in my review, so I’m not surprised you’ve heard the “their mother says so” line.

I agree that many people are looking for a magic answer and there isn’t one. You have to work at it and you have fail a number of times in order to succeed.

And there’s another thing. I’ve always been willing to help anyone who asks but many people don’t want the advice given. I’ve critiqued the work of many writers who came back angry at me saying I don’t know what I’m talking about. Their work is perfect, their mother tells them so all the time. (Seriously, I get these.)

None of us have all the answers but if you ask for advice be prepared to take it and use it if you want to improve.

I like a lot of what Richardson has to say, but he’ll probably be out of the race by Feb 5.

Not to get into a political discussion, but health care is an issue that all but puts a line in the sand between Dems and Reps.

But I keep looking at what drives stay-home/work-home moms. I made a vow years ago that I would not go back to work until my children were mature. After looking for work when my youngest turned 11 and finding that the secretarial jobs I could easily have qualified for were paying $8.50 to $9 an hour to start, I had to question if buying a new wardrobe, increasing gas consumption (no public transportation in much of Vermont), and paying for the additional wear and tear on the car were worth it. In the end, the answer is no.

I have a mix of high paying jobs and a few that aren’t as high as I’d like but they pay before I do the writing which guarantees the payment up front. My highest paid gig is now a month late paying me and is on the third round of excuses as to why they can’t possibly pay yet. I’ve been promised pay by Friday after threatening small claims, so I’ll see what happens.

But comments about the expenses a new mom faces hits home. My neighbor’s 19 year old just had a baby. Definitely not an ideal situation, and worse is why she did it. She’d heard that if she had a baby as a teen, the state would support her and the baby allowing her to go to college at no charge. As is turns out, she was denied state aid because she had a job paying $8 an hour before the baby was born. They expect her to live on $8 an hour and pay for formula, diapers, car expenses, daycare, and rent (small one-bedroom is $900 a month in this area). Five days after having her son, she went back to work because she had no other choice. She needed the money. She’s now gaining WIC assistance that helps with formula and some groceries, but all in all, her expenses are her own responsibility and she and her boyfriend who have a combined income of $15 an hour are having to survive. That drives me nuts.

As for the presidential elections, it’s funny I’m on dish network and they have this questionnaire right now that takes your answers and matches you to your ideal candidate. I took it and the answer I got was nothing like I’d expected, so it’s caused me to look at the options again. In the end, the questionnaire said Bill Richardson is my best match. I didn’t even know who he was until then.

I will write you separately. It wasn’t no symptoms, but they weren’t very noticeable in the instance (my daughter) I have in mind. Again, turned out to be minor, but I watch health care with a lot of interest as a result.

I’ll write you separately in the am. Thanks.

Not sure why anyone would want to go for tests with no symptoms, but there are places that handle that, too.

Shoot me your email at james (at) jcme.ca and I’ll write you back with my thoughts.

Off topic, but would like to hear from a native about health care in Canada. I know one other writer there (IT World, Canada) and he says it works fine, but here in the States a lot of politicians and some business commentators say it doesn’t work because you can’t get anything but life-saving-type care with any speed and that many procedures (e.g., MRI, EEG, EKG) are hard to come by unless there are very noticeable symptoms.

We’ve had health issues in my family (nothing too major, but didn’t know that til some tests memtioned above were conducted), so I’m very interested in your thoughts, particularly as I go through Presidential candidates proposals.

Thanks,

That life is not the reality for my American friends, who go bankrupt if they need antibiotics for bronchitis or who have children and need to get the hell back to their job within five weeks of delivering or they lose their job. As far as I know, there are no subsidies for children and daycare either. I have no idea how people in the U.S. manage to live well unless they’re making serious money.

@ Rebecca – In the end my kids are happy, well adjusted and loved (and sometimes un-diapered) while I get to chase my dream career. That’s what matters most to me and that is priceless. I love my kids, too. That was nice to hear, because it made me smile and think of them.

@Nancy P,
It’s always nice to meet other homeschooling parents. My four-year old daughter is homeschooled. I’m happy that I found this community it’s been a great resource for a newbie like myself.

@Caffeine Addict,
It sounds as though you and I have something in common I get between three to five hours sleep nightly. I’m usually awake by 3:30. I don’t need an alarm clock it’s just how I’m wired even as a child I would get up early. My parents “loved” that. When I worked out of the home, my daughter would awaken early. Oh that was lovely! When I told my mom about that she got was pleased. Paybacks I guess…

This year, with my youngest starting Kindergarten, I’ve finally got some freedom to move when it comes to opportunities for growth outside of the home. I can take on a part time class schedule if I can find one that fit around both kid’s school hours. Of course, course fees are a pinch idea but a necessity I save for.

I don’t think any career choice is supposed to be easy. I think there is an advantage to how hard Freelancing can be. Only those truly serious about this as a career choice would ever stick it out. Only those who can’t imagine doing anything else with their lives would have the courage to push through and make it work.

As for the expense of being online, it is a case of priorities. We forgo many luxuries to get the bare necessaries. For me, my connection is necessary and I’d rather go without movies, tv, holidays, fancy bath soaps, and new clothes so that I can be online to connect with other writers and find work.

That’s the way finance works with everything. You can make the slimmest budget work if you’re willing to sacrifice. I hear people complain that $40,000 is just scraping buy, but I do fine with one third of that. It’s not the height of luxury, there is a lot we go without, but in the end my kids are happy, well adjusted and loved (and sometimes un-diapered) while I get to chase my dream career. That’s what matters most to me and that is priceless.

A big shout-out to the homeschooling moms out there! I respect the dedication to the children and the hard work you all put into schooling.

I would just like to add my two cents worth: with school, errands, mounds of homework, and freelancing on the side, I get about 4 hours of sleep (if I’m lucky). That’s no reason for me to take low paying jobs, because I’m trying to build a decent reputation for myself. In the mean time, I can plan and apply for jobs that showcase my skills for their true value. We’re ALL working hard.

I’m not picking at anyone in particular, but I know that there’s always an option for employment. The government pays all education related expenses for unmarried or very poor mothers – including day care. That means that one can receive a high school diploma at your local tech school with little fuss. I believe that they will also provide a living expenses stipend, but I’m not sure.

After one has a diploma, the government can pay for day care, while a mother earns a meager living. I can name a handful of companies that will hire a high-school graduate AND make provisions for disabilities.

Sure all that is hard work, but I know for a fact that there’s always a way out. I certainly feel for those with financial difficulties, but freelance writing is not a sure way to get out of the hole, especially when there are more lucrative opportunities waiting on your doorstep.

I also wonder where the very poor WAHMs find the money for an internet connection, a computer, and all the accompanying software. I apologize, but I find it a little strange that a mother would put technology before diapers. I may be a little slanted in my opinion, though.

~Respectfully yours,
CA

@Steve A & Nikki – I think there are truly quite a few folks out there who really need income NOW, and many more who match Rebecca’s description of writers who think they aren’t worth much because they are just starting out. I know I was thrilled to get a few dollars for my first couple of articles – but then I started researching and realized that I could earn more. I read a couple of good books and learned to write a query letter…sold an article for $150…it was hard work, and nerve-wracking, but it happened.

I’ve had ups and downs since then but finally have a manageable schedule (remember the homeschooling?) with a steady income…good for me…work I love…can’t fully support myself on this, but I need stability right now and don’t have time to write full time yet.

Communities like this are the new writers’ best resource – so many BTDT stories, ideas, tips and, most especially, encouragement. I know I’d never have applied for About.com and gone through their grueling Prep (twice!) without Deb’s advice and the support of other writers who’d done the same thing.

@ Opal – Oh man, you have no idea how often I complain about this. I have so many buddies dropping in unexpectedly at all times, and they have yet to figure out why I can’t drop what I’m doing to go play. Some get upset when I can’t visit. Hey, do I go drop in and hang out on the construction site or in their office?

@Jennifer – I understand that you were aiming more at the people who knew an end was coming or knew this was what they were going to or wanted to do. I was never going to out and out quit my job and I did a lot of researching while I was home, before I got the letter telling me I was let go. Still I thought I would have a job to return to and could start slowly, like you recommended.

This is my 2nd semester back at school and this time I will be sticking Noah in the college daycare while I attend classes on campus.

@James – I am still thinking about your offer – I haven’t ruled it out but I have become a big skeptic of the ebook since my one and only purchase, jaded I know but I am considering it.

I have to add that I think I have come a long way this year… but I’ve also had some setbacks, my point should have been that while I agree with Jennifer’s article I know that planning doesn’t always have a chance to happen the way it should.

@Rebecca,
You raised some excellent points. I do think some people take a lower paying jobs because they believe that is all they are worth. I’ve seen this during a few of my blog travels.

Six years ago when I started my business on a part-time basis I had my doubts thankfully I had some great mentors that helped me out. When I started freelance writing, almost a month ago now, I had my doubts; however, they weren’t as strong. I did a lot of research and still have a lot to learn, and I thought positive thoughts. I keep telling myself I’m worth it and so are you.

I checked out your website I really like it.

The fact is, sometimes there are very few options. I found myself raising two wonderful kids with no skills, no former work experience, and not even a high school graduation. I’m what they consider unemployable at the government job centers. I got by on a meager pension that barely kept us in clothes and a roof over our heads. I’ve been so thankful that my bank allowed me to take over my exhusbands mortgage or the rising rental in this area would have put us out in the street. Even if I could get a job outside of the home it would not pay enough to cover the cost of putting my youngest in daycare. It’s a rock and a hard place.

I’m finally starting to turn that around but it has taken two years of hard work building first myself, my skills, and then my networks. I’m still learning every single day and working harder than anyone who has a nine-to-five. I think that’s what prospective freelancers have to understand. In the beginning working for yourself is the hardest job you’ll do. I even found being a mother is easier than this because of natural mothering instincts.

Thankfully this IS a perfect world because we have these incredible opportunities. The hardships make us stronger and ultimately push us in the direction we need to go. For some, the leap is the risk that sends them back to the office job. At least when they look back on life they won’t regret never having tried.

Oh, and I took $5 jobs originally. It wasn’t because it was all I could get. It was because it was all I thought I was worth. I think the trouble is that there is so much stigma on the fact that we do something ‘anyone can do’. Prospective clients undervalue us and if we come from a background of undervaluing ourselves it is hard to build up a realistic perspective of what your worth. Even now I’m sure I work at a rate far below what I am probably worth but I don’t have the faith in myself to feel I can ask for more.

Much, much, much to think about. Thank you for the thought provoking entry and for all your incredible comments!

@ Jennifer – You’re so right. People put on blinkers and refuse to see the possibilities, opportunities and potential solutions. I’m constantly amazed at how quick people assume there is only one solution – theirs.

@ Morgan – Everyone thinks freelancers and writers live the grand life of freedom and creative expression. “You’re so lucky to work from home!” Why? I work the same number of hours as someone in an office. Only the location is different. “You can work in your pjs!” Sure – and I look damned stupid when the Fedex guy delivers something or when an unexpected client knocks on the door. “You can work when you feel like it!” Oh yeah, right. Like, when a deadline is coming up and I’m putting in full days and nights? Or did the person mean dropping everything and losing income to have a day off? Last time I checked, working from home didn’t mean flexible vacation.

In a perfect world I would not have gone back to work after my daughter was born but the reality was I had to. I was, still am, a single mom. I was also in school and working on my business part-time.

When my daughter started talking almost every morning she would say, “Mommy please stay home!” Oh the guilt! lol Although I wanted to I didn’t have that luxury I had to work. I did promise her that one day I would turn her dream (and mine) into a reality.

About a year later the company I worked for closed. They lost their contract with the military. It was their only contract. I didn’t think that was too bright but that’s another story. A few thousand people were without a job. We had warning and the employees knew about it almost a year in advance so I did plan accordingly. I was able to work for myself.

What surprised me were the ones who hadn’t made plans for that even though they knew that the job was ending. They had plenty of time to prepare but a few of them didn’t do that.

I get that there are cases like Steve’s and your’s where maybe there isn’t the job available for whatever reason. I do think that people who have zip, and I mean totally zero, other options besides writing $3 articles for a living are rare cases.

In eight years I’ve talked with countless freelancers and met exactly one person who really had no other option than staying home — if you take the time to email and talk with people considering freelance work I think you’d find very few in the all or nothing situation. Most of the time if you dig a little, people will admit they could do something else as they learn how to freelance productively.

The people I was thinking of when I wrote this seem to be of the mind set that quitting their job (a job they already have) and starting to freelance is a simple plan, a good way to make money quickly while they stay at home. Clearly it’s not, as you’ve noted. There will always be extreme cases but that’s not really what this post addresses.

IF you do have the means to do something else as you learn the trade, is more along the lines of what I wish people would think about.