The WordPress comment is called Comment Relish, available from http://www.justinshattuck.com/comment-relish/, and replies only to the first time a user comments on a blog (based on the email they used), so, thankfully, does not swamp all commenters with bacn.

Replying to blog commenter or emails in general can seem like a full time job. But, I believe I owe it to the people who take the time to respond to an article in my weekly column or a blog post.

I never sent a “Thank you, please subscribe” email in response to a blog comment myself. If it is just one or two, I respond the same day. When it is more, I leave them for Saturday which is my designated “correspondence day”.

Spam! never though about it really, but I suppose it is.

Hey, I hardly have time to comment here often but I sure do relish the chats.

Kudos to you Deborah and all the readers and subscribers who keep this site alive, well and yes, lively.

@Katherine Actually, I rarely read Problogger. If I see an interesting tweet I may stop by, or maybe an RSS headline that pops out at me but I don’t read Darren daily. So, no, I don’t remember the 31 Days blogging course. I also don’t think just because one blogger does something that it means it’s right for me anyhow. Me sending thank you emails, because Darren says to, would still be lame, because in the back of my head I’d still be thinking, “Well, this is a bad idea.” My e-mails would likely feel false.

In most cases, no matter who says what to do, you should still go with your gut, and do what’s right for you as a blogger.

@Julie What you said is right. I forget that not everyone gets so much email. The other day a non-blogging friend said she had too much email (10 in one day). 10! Can you imagine?

We are writers discussing tactics on a daily basis. I don’t think that this will ever be totally settled because you need to know the opinions of the readers who do not write, who do not know about marketing, and who do not get 500 emails a minute from clients, spam, blogs, and other areas that we do.

Your daily job posts are thanks enough.

My apologies if you thought I was implying anybody who sent emails in response to a comment was stalking. I had the “please subscribe to my rss feed” sort of generic email that Jennifer was taking about. There isn’t a lot of personality there, and hardly any desire to get to know the other person or form a relationship. That’s merely a calculated move to up your rss count which would be a little off putting.

If you did it in a specific situation where the comment was of extraordinarily high value, then yeah, that might deserve an email.

Also, WordPress does have the “subscribe to comments” option. So, it’s easier to keep the conversation going!

It’s “Lis” not “Liz.” Sorry – I get that all the time.

I agree that if the comment is one whose answer might benefit everyone involved in the discussion, I will place my answer on my blog. Like you, if a blogger doesn’t respond to repeated attempts at communication, I won’t go back, no matter how good the content. I don’t like to be ignored, and perhaps that’s why I go out of my way to establish some sort of personal relationship. I very rarely respond with just a “thanks for visiting” email and instead try to take it one step further.

Blogs that allow you to subscribe to comments help to keep the conversation flowing. If I didn’t subscribe to this blog’s comments, I can honestly say that I wouldn’t come back to see if anyone had responded. I just don’t have the time. I think it’s a great feature (does WordPress and TypePad have this function??), and if I could put it on my sites, I most likely wouldn’t respond as often via email.

I have a fairly small readership and may, at most, receive 10 comments on a post. For me, it is no big deal to extend a thought or conversation through email, and I have forged terrific friendships AND business relationships this way. Having worked in customer service for A LONG TIME, I suppose it’s ingrained in me to treat my readers like I would want to be treated.

What I can’t understand is those people who think it a huge imposition to open an email. I think Opal Tribble said it best, “The way I am online is not too different from how I am in person. I’m very friendly and do go out of my way to make people feel welcome. So for me welcoming people to my virtual homes, especially my new visitors, is nothing out of the ordinary.

@PreSchool Mama. I agree with the first part of your comment. I don’t however, consider the emails a stalking effort. Unless, I suppose a blogger sends them in abundance.

@Liz Garrett (2nd comment). You said, “If you don’t want me to follow your comment, visit your site, or respond to you, then don’t leave a comment on my site in the first place.”

But here’s the thing; blogs, traditionally, consist of a comment section where back and fourth banter can happen. For years now, when I respond to a blog post, the blogger will either not respond, and then I assume they don’t want a reader/blogger community, OR they will reply to my comment in the comments.

This email deal is new as far as blogs are concerned. Out of habit, that’s what I’m used to and that’s what I expect to happen when I leave a blog comment. Maybe, as I said above things are changing, but honestly, I like the old format. Blog comments are a big deal to me. I don’t love to see them leave the blog. Seemingly, others don’t mind though, so either I’ll have to get used to it or quit commenting at other’s blogs – which frankly would be depressing.

Also, I am sorry you feel upset by some of the above comments. I agree with you that some emails are sent genuinely. AND sorry to single your comments out twice – but they were good think-worthy comments.

I also think it does make a difference when someone asks you to subscribe – as many people have noted here, they’ll send emails, but they really are heart-felt, not a business ploy. I appreciate the difference.

Also, if someone asks a personal question, I’ll email them. If someone is too rude for the community, I’ll email them instead of posting their comment. When I actually become friends with another blogger, I’ll email them as well. I just don’t love email welcomes as a rule.

@Liz Garrett (your first comment). I think the problem is that blogging is changing. If I leave a comment at a blog I like, I do go back to see if they respond, almost 100% of the time. If they didn’t respond to me I may try leaving another comment (if I love the blog). If I visit again and nothing, no response, I scratch them off my list. I don’t need a response from all the regular blogs I visit every time, but I do tend to base my initial decision to keep visiting on whether or not the blogger responded in the first place.

To me, blogs are nice little communities in themselves. I like the back and fourth in comments. Moving the discussion to email, not only moves it away from the blog, but it moves the discussion out of the blog community. Other people, not just me, may benefit from a blogger’s response. Maybe people are moving toward email blog discussions. Maybe I’m just stuck on how blogs were in the past – sort of tiny discussion forums.

I think the feelings bloggers feel about email are going to depend on why they visit blogs in the first place and also how annoyed they get by extra email.

The way I am online is not too different from how I am in person. I’m very friendly and do go out of my way to make people feel welcome. So for me welcoming people to my virtual homes, especially my new visitors, is nothing out of the ordinary.

I have established great relationships simply by following up with a thank you email. I even picked up a client that way. That definitely wasn’t my intent. I was treating them as I treat all my new readers; however, months later I’m working for them.

They are actually getting really popular. In fact many blog networks are now encouraging their bloggers to use them.

I’m not necessarily put off, but I completely understand where you’re coming from, Lis. Some of the attitudes expressed here are a perfect example of why so many people only lurk and don’t bother to comment at all in the first place.

I suggest responding to commenters the way you feel is best, and if they don’t like it, no harm, since they’re obviously not your “type” anyway.

I’ve never even thought about the distinction under discussion here because I honestly don’t care if someone responds to me by email or on the blog. The fact that they’re responding at all is sufficient, and I appreciate it, regardless of the format or any ulterior motives.

Obviously, you can’t please everybody, which makes this a nonissue in my book. You’ll never find me grumbling about someone acknowledging me, though.

If you don’t want me to follow your comment, visit your site, or respond to you, then don’t leave a comment on my site in the first place.

Plus, if it comes with a hook like “subscribe to my feed” it’s not really a heartfelt “Thank you.”

When someone comes to your home, you welcome them, and be the perfect host, and when they leave, you say “Please do come again.”

You don’t go chasing them the minute they’re out the door. That’s stalking!

If you want to project a genuine, homey kind of air, you have to realize that it’s not something you fake. Be real, and let the rest of it follow.

When I send these emails, I always thank them for reading the blog. But I don’t press them to subscribe.

No one has time to send everyone a thank-you note, but this plugin helps a lot.

And I’ve had a few people thank me for that email, and not consider it spam, so I think it’s alright.

It was really awe inspiring to have someone, a published author, like what I said enough to share her feelings, so an email seemed right.

And often, we keep visiting, and we add each other’s links.

Some questions I’ll answer in the body of the blog. It depends on the type of comment.

I find it’s worth making the time to do this. I get several paid assignments per month because of people who discovered my blog and respond to it.