I personally am the same way online as I am online.

I’m no longer a teenager, but I’m still relatively near to that culture in age. Unfortunately, the older generation has left us with a pretty shoddy economy and now we have to work if we want a real education. I find it pretty offensive to hear people who never had to do real work insulting an entire age group, when (at least it’s this way for college kids) we need to work for every little thing.

It comes down to owning up and taking responsibility. I hear so many parents blaming the media for any rudeness that a young person may exhibit, because they’re too lazy to put in some work in actually raising their kids. I saw that one person commented that if s/he had behaved the way that his/her kids behave now, s/he would have been booted from the house. What does that say about the parenting? Someone didn’t/doesn’t lay down the law and look at what happened. Children aren’t going to own up to their actions (rudeness) until their parents start owning up.

I find it appalling that an age group can be black-balled, with no social consequence. We all know that race has nothing to do with one’s abilities, yet some feel it’s reasonable to make sweeping generalizations about another huge group of people? I would hope that at this point, we would realize that ALL people come from various backgrounds, which leads to different behaviors.

I applaud the people who said that rudeness is everywhere or didn’t single out any specific group. I think that people like these offer civil discussion and show true web etiquette.

I apologize if I’ve offended anyone, but could we strive to open our minds a little? Sure some teens are rude, but so are a lot of other people.

You’ve heard the saying “It’s always the quiet ones,” right? Well, it’s because the quiet ones spend a good lot of their time shutting up and making nice in the face to face world so much so that the Internet can be a fresh release! It’s the quiet ones who get walked all over and bullied in the face to face world… where should we tell them to go and vent their frustrations or be mean? Are we saying people can’t be mean? It doesn’t seem like there is a good place anymore.

I am not saying that we pave the road in gold for the bullies and cyberbullies of the earth. No, but I think that our society has changed so much that people want such a politically correct world that it’s backfiring ten-fold on them. Being PC is everywhere and the Internet is the last frontier it seems where people can be as unPC as they want and not give a rat’s behind who thinks what. It’s the double-edged sword… We wanted it, a place to be free and not worry what people think of us or what we say, a place to speak our minds, get dirty and all kinds of wrong but when it’s done, when someone crosses the invisible line that’s yet to be drawn… then we get mad at them. Then they are rude, snarky or mean. When all they really are is human and showing a little of their A$$es because it’s the one place left that they can.

Telling people where to go and to what hand basket they should get there in is one of the last things on earth that hasn’t been taken from us, the Internet it seems is one of the last places people can do it… But we don’t want them in the face to face world. Then we are back to being unPC.

You have manners, though, and everyone knows it:)

I think some of the rudeness on the Internet is self inflicted. People don’t like it when others disagree with them. They see flames where flames don’t exist.

Also, just because people type the words doesn’t mean they know how to communicate by writing. And that comes off as rude, when the person has no inkling that he or she appears that way.

@Ann – I love Pay It Forward. The story about your neighbor is horrifying. I’ve learned the hard way about being the “nice guy” with neighbors many times. It’s too bad, isn’t it?

@LL – I agree with you about the limitations of the written word online. My sarcasm gets me in trouble frequently, but at least you and I have the decency to apologize when something we say is taken the wrong way or offends someone. To me, that is very different than trolling through writing blogs just to call people names and fling insults. These people are clearly doing it just to be mean — no mistake about it.

For those who have not heard – a sharp pain to the right of your belly button CAN indicate appendicitis. If you have a pain there that is intense or you have that pain with a fever or vomiting – go see the doctor just to be certain! I thought that was a common sense issue, but after learning my neighbor had no clue, it made me wonder how many others don’t know that.

How awful! She must have felt so humiliated after you were clearly right, and she couldn’t handle her feelings so she had to completely ax you instead. For her it must have been more important to think she was *right* than be happy or peaceful. Or show any gratitude – geez.

That’s one scary story. Funny how angry she was with you. I’d been eternally grateful that someone was so helpful. Perhaps she had ego issues and thought you were showing her up in the parenting department?

People don’t seem to appreciate much anymore. It’s all me, all the time, and screw anyone else.

In thinking about my recent faux pas here in relation to a job posting of which it appeared I was rudely poking fun, I think that sometimes due to the limitations of the written word, what might seem innocuous in a spoken manner comes across as rude or mean-spirited in writing.

I was just reading Laurel’s post and it brought something else to mind. (Tired of repetitive freezing rain here so I’m trying to ignore the outside)

I loved the book Pay It Forward. That’s the type of mentality I would like to see the world live in, but I’m smart enough to know it will never happen. Three years ago, my neighbor’s son became really sick. I mean – REALLY sick. Vomiting, intense stomach pains, fever. This is the single mom, so I understood her need to work. On the second day, her son called me at home and asked if I could come over with some mint tea (per earlier discussions I realize it is not technically tea but I’m calling it that anyway) to help ease his nausea. So I brought him a cup with some honey and stayed around for a few minutes to make sure he was able to keep it down. During this time, I asked him where the pain was and he pointed to the right of his belly button. I figured EVERYONE knows that pain there is a sign of appendicitis. I called his mom and told her that she needed to take him to the ER ASAP because this was his second day with the stomach pains. I figured she’d take my advice because this was her son’s life at stake.

A full day later, I’m out on the front deck shaking out a rug and see him come crawling over (literally crawling). She figured he was lying to get attention from me and never did take him to the ER. I ended up driving him to his doctor myself who informed me it was certainly appendicitis and that if I could get him to the ER, I’d probably beat out waiting for an ambulance at that point. So I did, though it was too late, his appendix had ruptured approximately 24 hours earlier and he was in the hospital with an infection for 3 weeks not to mention the surgery which required a portion of his intestines to be removed.

After all this, you would have thought she would thank me. The truth is she announced she hated me for interfering with her life and told her kids there were never allowed to talk to me again. This is slowly changing again now that the son is 16 and out of the house, the older daughter still doesn’t talk to me though.

So in my experience, being the nice guy can suck too. The only good thing from this is now that he’s a dad and away from her, he and the baby’s mom bring the baby to me when they want a break. Sadly, and possibly understandably, he no longer trusts his mom to know what to do in an emergency.

There are many blogs (not necessarily freelancing or writing sites) that I visit for content, but I would never dream of posting on because so many of the posters are rabid. It almost seems like they are waiting to pounce on comments they disagree with or think are stupid. No question those people could be a little nicer.

I choose to post on this site because the great majority of people on FWJ are respectful and genuinely helpful.

I’ve had my share of knee-jerk reactions, but I try hard to be considerate and not hateful. And an apology can go a long way. (But some people still won’t accept that, even, and go a very long time holding a grudge.)

I do think the web has gotten ruder in some areas. But like dejah, I remember the really wild, wild west days of message boards.

Heck, people in general seem to suffer from entitlement. Whatever happened to personal responsibility for actions? Now, there’s always something (or someone) else to blame.

It’s not just the schools, it’s society as a whole doesn’t stress respect any more. Look at today’s sitcoms. No more Leave it To Beaver, Father Knows Best, etc., where respect was the norm. Now the norm is smart-aleck kids. And the fathers are shown as complete fools (I’ll admit, we have our moments, but not the sacrifices of a breadwinner — even in a two breadwinner house — are never recognized, nor is the respect that most religions teach for elders).

If I treated my parents the way my teens treat me (though they are respectful to other elders, I’m told), I would have been kicked out of the house. I hear the same from other parents.

This problem of youth is discussed in the book Only Yesterday — though it complains about this problem in the 1920s (showing that every generation of parents feels this way).

Then add in things such as the Entitlement Generation (which I am a reluctant piece of), supplying a generation of kids whose parents have always stepped in and fixed everything for them. They never learned to take care of themselves or put real effort in to get results.

In the end you get one horrid mess. You get adults who think the world is at fault for their problems and young adults who can’t function in society. It drives me crazy.

I run with a high level of personal responsibility and good sense of how hard work is beneficial.

Putting yourself out there on the Internet for everyone to see has always been akin to standing on your porch and shouting your business, for me. I don’t act a fool for all to see, but it’s not like that keeps me from having a strong opinion. Manners keep it all in line because often what I type is highly filtered from what I first thought.

When I lived in a big city, I was short-tempered and, occasionally, rude to other pedestrians. Since moving to a small town, I’m friendly and nice to everyone. Really. Something about the sense of a real community, where people actually know each other, and where the pace is slower. I made a conscious decision to step out and back, and my life is way better for it.

Maybe we all just need to reevaluate our values. Do we really *need* the latest cell phone, or newest iPod, or coolest laptop? Think about the money they cost. If you’re going to keep up with the latest must-haves, which are getting more and more expensive and are more and more quickly outdated, you have to work more and make more money and are almost perpetually dissatisfied. I think that transfers into rudeness, from a sense of personal unhappiness and insecurity. If you’re okay with who you are, you can choose to step back from the fray and not engage in ways that hurt others.

Yesterday, I got an email from an author who is about to be published with PA and he was furious over my policy. Name calling ensued (stupid b#@%h who obviously knows nothing about writing a book was one) and though tempted to tell him that his name calling and insults were juvenile and not appreciated, I opted to delete the email instead.

This isn’t the first time. There is another author whose book I reviewed a couple years ago. He was a former cop that admitted in the book that before his retirement he took bribes and stole drugs from the evidence locker. I find that appalling and said so in my review. I got an email from that author telling me he still had plenty of friends in the force so I should be careful about what I say about him. How’s that for scary? I took the email and forwarded it to his agent and the publisher. Needless to say this guy’s contract was dropped and the publisher couldn’t apologize enough. People just don’t seem to care about what they say anymore.

In the end, all they’ve accomplished was making me completely certain that I will NEVER touch any of their books and that all of my friends and family are told about the situations so that word of mouth passes on.

They never expected that they’d be lifting boxes or having to do manual labor. When that wasn’t happening, they opted to move on. We’re raising them to want an easy life. The Bosnian himself said he can’t believe how quick Americans are to drop jobs that offer great benefits and a decent salary all because it is inconvenient to their ideals.

I look at the high school courses my son will be taking next year. Everything has moved away from teaching kids ethics and manners. My shorthand teacher was a wonderful woman, but a stickler for manners and grammar. Mess it up and she’d let you know. The high school here actually has a class that teaches Internet use including the lingo, but no where does it talk about being responsible for what you say or do online.