Comments on: Should you meet another blogger (or blog reader) in person?

By: Karen Anderson

Karen Anderson — Wed, 09 Apr 2008 06:52:29 +0000

The type of blogging I do (about writing careers) does not seem to be the type that attracts weirdos. Most of the people who ask to meet me are from Seattle, and usually it turns out they belong to one of the many professional or technology groups that I do. So it isn’t like I’m meeting a stranger.
I did, however, contemplate doing a fairly edgy blog with a friend of mine, a younger woman, and one of our concerns about it was that it might end up with her getting inquiries from the wrong sort of men.
I agree with Sue’s Gavin De Becker recommendation. If something feels even slightly weird, don’t do it!

By: Katherine

Katherine — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 18:26:52 +0000

I wouldn’t mind meeting other people at a conference or something but other than that, I’d decline. It just seems weird!

By: Sue

Sue — Mon, 07 Apr 2008 11:26:47 +0000

A very good book to read on personal safety is Gavin De Becker’s “The Gift of Fear.”

He talks about how most people really are decent, and what you need to do is be able to rely on your instinct (and some knowledge) to spot the ones who aren’t.

Many predators will rely on their target’s being too nice to say no, or to insist on being someplace more public.

-Sue

By: Melissa

Melissa — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 16:40:05 +0000

I tend to read mainly personal blogs by expats living in Mexico and by women who are living in the States and married to Mexicans, so this circle is already pretty small. I don’t know if this could be considered a niche, because I’m not sure if personal blogs fall into that category.

There are a few women I’d LOVE to meet, and haven’t because of an accident of georgraphy, and I’d have no compunction against getting together in person. But they all know at least one person that I’m close to in real life. We may not be fast friends, but we’d definitely enjoy each other’s company if we ever ended up at a party together.

The only person I’ve met in real life from a connection made on an online forum turned out to be living a parallel life to mine. In fact, when we went to visit her and her husband in NYC, it turned out that her husband studied at the English school I taught at in Mexico just a month after I left and knew some of my closest friends!

But to meet someone who simply decided they liked me based on my online persona? That seems weird to me.

By: Violette

Violette — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 04:35:31 +0000

Jennifer,

Great piece. Too funny. Sounds like some of the people I attract, but they are usually the “off” parents at my kids school. Why me?

LOL. Fortunately I’m fairly new to blogging and the internet crazies haven’t found me yet. Will I regret finally making the leap to Stumble?

By: becky

becky — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 01:51:50 +0000

Some of my best friends were originally just names on a message board, pre-blogging days. So I guess I’m pretty open to meeting people. BUT. It depends on the vibe I get from them. And a first meeting would always be in a group setting or someplace like the mall or starbucks.

I’m careful about it, and I’ve never had a bad experience. Always trust your gut.

By: Anne Cagle

Anne Cagle — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:54:39 +0000

I would feel safe if the person that offered to meet me had a referral from a good off-line friend, or relative that one can tolerate…Or if there was a paycheque with a definite contract signed with both parties.

Best practise is to tell someone where you are going, when you will be there, and when you will return. The buddy system is a good thought (the more the safer) and cell phones are good equipment to take along.

The Internet is a useful place to start on researching people. I use it vet social networking requests.

By: Jennifer Chait

Jennifer Chait — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:46:50 +0000

It seems everyone agrees with general safety when meeting online folks in person. I’d also like to point out (again) the other aspect of this situation which was dealing with folks who want to meet you and you’re not on board.

I was thinking that it might be good to note that maybe you don’t even ask to meet someone, unless you have gotten to know them very well online. To me “very well” is more of a we email back and fourth often, not just, we read each others blogs. Also maybe if you’re the person asking and the other person is kind of hesitating, let it go.

@Angelique I wonder if that has anything to do with you sending memes to poor bloggers Just kidding.

Also, am I the only anti-Starbucks person on the planet or what?

By: Angelique

Angelique — Sun, 06 Apr 2008 00:17:21 +0000

Maybe it’s just me… no one has ever asked to meet up. Hmmm… perhaps my geekiness translates to the blogosphere…?

By: Susan

Susan — Sat, 05 Apr 2008 21:31:12 +0000

I’ve met a few bloggers in person, and I’m usually the initiator. I think it’s gone well, and I’ve felt like we both got something out of the meeting (generally swapping stories about editors and tips about where to pitch).

I’m willing to do this partly because I’ve done online dating, and the same rules apply to both scenarios:

1. Get to know them via email/blogging first so that you feel comfortable.
2. Trust your gut, and bail out if something doesn’t feel right. No need to feel bad, because this is your safety at stake.
3. Meet in a public place (generally a coffee shop in my case).
4. Don’t reveal too much personal info.