He talks about how most people really are decent, and what you need to do is be able to rely on your instinct (and some knowledge) to spot the ones who aren’t.

Many predators will rely on their target’s being too nice to say no, or to insist on being someplace more public.

-Sue

There are a few women I’d LOVE to meet, and haven’t because of an accident of georgraphy, and I’d have no compunction against getting together in person. But they all know at least one person that I’m close to in real life. We may not be fast friends, but we’d definitely enjoy each other’s company if we ever ended up at a party together.

The only person I’ve met in real life from a connection made on an online forum turned out to be living a parallel life to mine. In fact, when we went to visit her and her husband in NYC, it turned out that her husband studied at the English school I taught at in Mexico just a month after I left and knew some of my closest friends!

But to meet someone who simply decided they liked me based on my online persona? That seems weird to me.

Great piece. Too funny. Sounds like some of the people I attract, but they are usually the “off” parents at my kids school. Why me?

LOL. Fortunately I’m fairly new to blogging and the internet crazies haven’t found me yet. Will I regret finally making the leap to Stumble?

I’m careful about it, and I’ve never had a bad experience. Always trust your gut.

Best practise is to tell someone where you are going, when you will be there, and when you will return. The buddy system is a good thought (the more the safer) and cell phones are good equipment to take along.

The Internet is a useful place to start on researching people. I use it vet social networking requests.

I was thinking that it might be good to note that maybe you don’t even ask to meet someone, unless you have gotten to know them very well online. To me “very well” is more of a we email back and fourth often, not just, we read each others blogs. Also maybe if you’re the person asking and the other person is kind of hesitating, let it go.

@Angelique I wonder if that has anything to do with you sending memes to poor bloggers Just kidding.

Also, am I the only anti-Starbucks person on the planet or what?

I’m willing to do this partly because I’ve done online dating, and the same rules apply to both scenarios:

1. Get to know them via email/blogging first so that you feel comfortable.
2. Trust your gut, and bail out if something doesn’t feel right. No need to feel bad, because this is your safety at stake.
3. Meet in a public place (generally a coffee shop in my case).
4. Don’t reveal too much personal info.

A person should always exercise common sense, which I did NOT do in any of the cases when I’ve met up with my blog-pals. Most of the comments above have addressed it – safe, neutral place, informed friends/family,blah blah blah.

But I’ve never agreed to meet a blogger that I didn’t like EVEN BETTER once I’d met them in person.

I didn’t know Neil Young was so trustworthy.

It’s kind of funny too how everyone wants to meet people they don’t know at Starbucks. I’m actually meeting an editor at Starbucks today. I have no idea what she looks like or anything about her other than she pays me and likes my work. But this is a working relationship, totally different from the blog reader wanting to meet.

I actually haven’t gotten any real crazies emailing me yet. Thanks again for the post.

I think most of us that read Deb and Jennifer’s writings here are pretty like minded on all this. Great responses..

@Amy that is a little creepy – a plane ticket is expensive.

Poor Neil Young guy. I never responded to him (obviously) but he just kept emailing, and was sort of fun. In a real twisted way. But then I do love X-Files so gov conspiracy is right up my alley.

James? Are you sure? Well, at least he hasn’t disguised himself as a ‘nice’ guy;) ha, ha, ha…

Just kiding, James. You know we love your candor around here (it’s a refreshing change from the waffle I eat elsewhere on the net!)

There’s also one blogger/content writer who goes way back to the WFC days. We’ve spoken through the years on forums and PMs and have made a date for lunch when our kids are in school full time since she’s not far.

You have to go with your gut though. Just because the person is someone you’ve spoken with for years doesn’t make him or her safe. After all there are people who were stalked by others who they trusted implicitly. So be safe. Go somewhere public and take it from there.

There’s no need to be offended if someone suggests a public meeting. It’s only common sense.

I am painfully shy in “real” life, so meeting up would be a terrible idea, in any case. Plus, there’s the safety factor to worry about. I’ve never been in that situation, so I don’t really know how I’d deal with it. I have a really great excuse to not meet up, though – I don’t live in the US or UK where most of my readers come from!