Thicken Up that Skin – It’s Nothing Personal
June 27, 2008 by Deb
Filed under Writing Tips
by Deb
My love of writing spans decades to when I first began writing essays and compositions at school. I looked forward to assignments where I could write and especially looked forward to my teachers’ comments in my perfect margins. Unless they had a criticism.
When I began writing for my various jobs I also looked forward to the writing. As a receptionist, many of the other employees would bring me their writing projects because they knew how much I enjoyed writing. Plus it helped to break up the monotony of sitting at a desk waiting for the phone to ring. I always accepted and tackled these assignments with gusto, thrilled my skills stood out enough for them to seek me for their projects. Until they brought back the rewrites.
When I moved ahead in the ranks, eventually to become an Editorial Assistant it was my job to write and proofread. Sitting alongside seasoned editors and writers was an amazing learning experience, one that prepared me for life as a freelance writer. Because I was now turning in work that would appear in national and international magazines, my writing was scrutinized and examined, and yes, there was criticism. Lots of it. The difference is, I learned not to take it all so personally.
No writer wants to hear she has poor sentence structure or how his writing is lacking excitement but most writers get this kind of constructive criticism on a regular basis. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it stings, writing is a personal thing after all. I once had a writer quit after I pointed out a common mistake on all of her writing assignments.
While writing may be a personal thing to us, we have to remember, it’s our job to make our employers look good. Every job offers a review and in most cases it’s nothing personal. It’s the same with writing.When an editor or client sends a piece back for rewrites and suggestions, he’s not criticizing you as a person he’s making corrections to representations of his business. Even the best writers have their work edited.
Thicken up your skin. Tell yourself it’s nothing personal. It’s all part of the job.
Thanks, Deb! I try to remember that whenever an editor berates me for a job I did. I’ve been so used to being my own boss that it’s quite hard to adjust to having a boss again. But I’m learning slowly.
I’m so glad to know I am not the only nerd who loved getting assigned essays in school. The other kids would always moan but I couldn’t wait to get started.
My kids moan about essays now. My son was placed in Accelerated English Comp for the upcoming high school year (freshman) and received a packet in last week’s mail with a shopping list for a few books he must read over the summer and then each book requires a three page essay on whatever topic was assigned. It was weird to learn I have to buy the school books for the upcoming year, those were always provided to me when I was in high school… One I found cheap but there was another on the list that was not available used on any of the online sites, but I won a bid on Ebay for $12, so I guess I’m still ahead of the game.
I can’t say I truly blame him though. I hated most books I read in high school, and figured I just was one of those that didn’t like reading. The one thing I discovered later is that it wasn’t me, it was just that the books the teachers picked out were not genres I liked. I read a book a day now and would love to go back in time to all the teachers who berated me for not “getting” books.
Now that I’ve been sidetracked… I’ve only had one editor who really criticized my writing and that was two months after she paid me for them, so I question what really happened there. For the most part, I’ve been lucky and have worked with some really fantastic people.
@ Ann G: I understand and fully appreciate what you are saying about the books high school students are given to read for English class. I’m sure they could find more interesting examples of literature for the kids to study. I’ve been known to remark that some of those courses should be renamed “Great English Literature That Sucks” or some such thing.
The first two on his list – one I’d never heard of the other is supposed to be a good read. (Strangers In The House and All Quiet On The Western Front). The Lovely Bones I adored, so he should not have a problem with that one. But knowing he loves fantasy – he just won’t like all the Shakespeare this year. And it’s not like he doesn’t ever read. The first two weeks of summer vacation it’s done nothing but rain, so he pulled out my Monk books (based on the TV series) and read all four in a week’s time. Unfortunately, I’ve already asked the teacher and she said it won’t count on his reading tally because they were not teacher-approved.
Very well-written post. I especially like the way you said “No writer wants to hear she has poor sentence structure or how his writing is lacking excitement but most writers get this kind of constructive criticism on a regular basis”. I know when I get criticized I curl into a little ball and think I’m on the only person on the planet being singled out for imperfection! I’ll keep reminding myself it’s part of the job. Thanks!
Every time someone makes a comment about my writing I make every effort to take it into consideration and use it as soon as possible to help me remember. Sometimes it’s hard to do, but try, try again, you get it eventually.
Criticism? Yeah, it stings for a while. But as long as clients keep sending you assignments (and checks), critical remarks aren’t fatal.