Christmas Newsletter Contest
July 10, 2008 by Jodee
Filed under Freelance Writing
by Mary Davis
CALLING ALL FREELANCE WRITERS!!!
Matron’s Monthly, in Conjunction with Martina’s Omniempire, Announces New…
Christmas Newsletter Contest!!!
Think you have what it takes to be “Mrs. Write?” Find out by entering our new, annual freelance writers’ Christmas Newsletter Contest.
If your kids were on the last place team, if your husband’s job was outsourced and he now commutes from New Delhi, or if that new soufflé recipe you tried making ended up being used for a doorstop … then this contest is NOT for you!
We are looking for writers whose family lives are so full and rich that they are not merely content to relish in them while living their lives to the fullest. No! We are looking for those who are so fulfilled that they cannot help but share their joy (and tales of their abundant emotional and financial riches) with others.
What separates a freelance newsletter amateur from a pro? Think about your daily life. When you’re in line at the grocery store (ok that won’t work, most of you probably order your groceries online) … think Starbucks instead.
So while waiting in line for that double-shot, low-fat, no-whip latte, are you content merely to look at your French-manicured nails, jot an appointment in your Dayrunner, or pull a loose thread from that Louis Vuitton handbag? Of course not! What newsletter diva would waste valuable downtime when she is surrounded by a captive audience just dying to hear her ebullient tales of such a bountiful life?
A winning newsletter candidate uses this opportunity to let her stars shine brightly, regaling those around her with tales of a picture-postcard perfect life. (Note: Stellar candidates will also whip out cell phone cameras to show pictures).
Tell them how you got back Sunday night at midnight from your son’s statewide club soccer championship (They took 1st place!). Let them see photos of your daughter at the national cheerleading finals, while not missing the chance to mention her 4.4 GPA.
And who could pass up mentioning hubby’s new $30,000 raise that allowed him to buy you that BMW or Hummer you’d been eyeing. (He must really love you!). But don’t forget about the TWO vacations you went on this year – the edutainment one with the whole family at Yosemite, with that first-class ecoadventure tour company (who could forget the bonding experience of scaling El Capitan together as an entire family – now those are the memories childhoods are made of!)
And then there was that wonderful, romantic island adventure in Fiji. Ahhhhh. Moonlit strolls, falling asleep in each other’s arms while the waves lapped under your thatched-roof cabana atop stilts over the water. Frolicking under that waterfall. So many romantic memories that just beg for sharing!
But … a great newsletter diva always remembers that it’s not just about her. After all, this is Christmas, a time for sharing and thinking of others! A winning entry would be remiss by not mentioning the good deeds and charity work that your family performed throughout the year. Forget giving some ragtag leftovers to Good Will — that’s for rookies.
We’re talking high-caliber charity here. The dozens of blankets you knitted from imported pure alpaca-fiber yarn for impoverished orphans in some far-off, third-world country. The soiree you chaired at the local country club that raised over $100,000 for a good cause. The Sunday afternoon your family spent baking items for the food bank and the homeless shelter — home-made pies from organic apples, and loaves of rosemary-asiago bread (with the recipe you used to take 1st prize at the county fair – yet more newsletter fodder!) These are the tales of a winning entry.
So do you still think you have what it takes to win our contest? That is the can-do, “I’m better than you” spirit we’re looking for! If these tales sound like scenes from your own life, then you have the makings of our next Christmas Newsletter Contest winner.
So send in your entry today, and remember – taking first place while watching the other contestants eat your dust will be the ideal way to kick off next year’s newsletter!
BIO
Candidate #6 is a professional writer living in California. She drives a Hyundai, vacations in Barstow, and the only thing she can knit is a furrowed brow.








maybe it’s because I just woke up, but I don’t get this.
# 6 a great “joke” and very creative!
Mia — Sorry if it was not clear.
It’s a satire piece poking two-pronged fun at both a certain high-end Shelter Magazine as well as at some of those self-serving Christmas newsletters many of us get purportedly wanting to keep in touch with us but that instead seem to say “my life’s wonderful — especially compared to yours!”
Hope this helps.
@Mia: Neither did I. Well, I did get why the piece was supposed to be humorous, but I didn’t get the Christmas connection.
Y’all apparently don’t get obnoxious christmas newsletters from people who use it to brag on how extraordinary their children are.