iCalendar: A Typical Freelancer’s Day
July 10, 2008 by Jodee
Filed under Freelance Writing
by Terreece Clarke
A freelancer’s day is a varied as the writer, but there are some we all have in common. Whether it’s waiting on a check, a love of coffee or an obsession with checking email or Tweets, no one understands like your fellow writers. So take a break and enjoy!
6:00 am: Stumble out bed and wander to desk. Open one eye long enough to check editorial calendar for the day – it’s full. Realize it’s a caffeine day. Head to kitchen.
6:15 am: After falling asleep in the bathroom, finally make it to the kitchen. Worship at the alter of the caffeine gods and scurry to the office before anyone in the house decides they want strike up a conversation.
6:23 am: Get caught sneaking to the office. Maybe if you stand still they won’t see you.
6:24 am: No such luck. Not only are they speaking they are asking questions. Apply “grunt and walk away” technique.
6:25 am: Safe in the office and both eyes open, check email account – 112 emails. Damn. Perk up when you realize 93 of those are for “Awesome Penis” products.
7:45 am: Begin working on first project of the day. It’s wonderful! It’s spectacular! And then you’re stuck. It needs something. You can’t decide what. You take a break and go Twitter or IM people who also should be working. Check email.
8:50 am: 20 Tweets and 4 Weird news stories later you check the job boards. FWJ, Craigslist, good haul this morning. Spend the next hour applying.
9:50 am: Back to the project. Finish it up and submit draft. Pat self on back. Play triumphant music on iTunes to celebrate. IM and Tweet updates.
10:30 am: Check email. Score! Favorite editor loved your piece. Throw yourself into next item on calendar.
1:30 pm: Realize coffee is not a meal. Venture out into the wild for nourishment. While eating lunch get unexpected visit from neighbor/family member/friend who doesn’t believe you have a real job. Realize you’re holding a Dagwood Bumstead sandwich and wearing an old high school t-shirt and what use to be really nice pants. Endure smirking intruder, turn down opportunity to hear about chapter 12 of their marital/work/child soap opera. Cite big name client. Watch smirk falter.
1:45 pm: Check email. Bust. Client #3 drops you like a hot potato. Budget cuts, shift in focus, site going under in 30 days. Yada, yada, yada. Sulk for a second or 10. Second bust – gig you applied to is for article “rewriting.” Feel ashamed for applying to a gig! With! So! Many! Exclamation points! In! It!
2:00 pm: Telephone conference with Client #6. Try to convince client nothing is “very unique.” Advise client that while you enjoy a good word joke, spelling their entire brochure phonetically isn’t a good gimmick.
2:45 pm: Deny sister’s request that you pick up her dry cleaning and dog from the kennel since “You know, you’re at home.”
3:00 pm: Stalk mailman. Stand in doorway as he creeps closer and closer to your house. Wipe drool from mouth. Try not to stare at the envelopes he carries. Remember to smile as he backs away cautiously. Close the door before you yell, “Whoo hoo! A check!”
3:30 pm: Realize there are several small visitors and a person of the opposite sex coming in the door. They introduce themselves as your family. Nod as you try to place the faces.
8:30 pm: Family time over, drag carcass to office and check email. Score! A possible client just became a paying client. Quickly print out contract and try not to sound too eager in crafting your acceptance email. Work to finish last to do items for the day.
11:00 pm: Meet up with that “spouse” person again and discuss next day’s events. Realize the plan is to lounge by the pool the first half of the morning, have a working lunch on the client’s dime and interview a local notable before knocking off at 3. Realize how much you love your job.
2:00 am: Wake up in panic because of a bad dream in which you were chained to a dial up PC with Windows 98 rewriting 500 articles for $10/set. Realize all is well. Pass back out.
What do you most identify with? Are you an hourly email checker? Do you scare the mailman?
#3 – Love this post! Think I am the compulsive ‘email checker’ …
Ok, I LOLed and woke my toddler. This is HILARIOUS. I especially like the 3:30pm posting.
I’m a compulsive “email checker,” too and I’ve come to terms with it. Thank you for such a funny (and ridiculously accurate) view of my life.
Scribette: Thanks! I am email addicted too. I had to learn to stop responding instantly all the time because it undermined the whole “I have a job & working thing” it was coming across as being a little too accessible! :0)
Lisa: Sorry! Hopefully you got some work in before he/she woke up! I’m glad you enjoyed it. I’ll stop looking in your window now.
I am a compulsive e-mail checker…how do you think I saw these comments so quickly?
Same here Jodee, same here…
This is great – someone should warn Helen Fielding she’s got competition
Compulsive email checker here. I can’t help it!
This is hilarious. I check my email at least every hour. My husband thinks I’m addicted to the computer. And I always get asked to take people to pick up their car in the shop (or entertain their children while they run an errand).
Andrew: I had to look up Fielding, then I realize she wrote the book to one of my fav movies: Bridget Jones! Wow. That is a compliment and I shall float all day on that one.
Mariella: It’s a bad thing. A couple weeks ago I forgot how to walk and ending up tumbling down the concrete stairs outside. After making it back into the house I had my spouse check the computer to make sure I didn’t bust it up in the fall, then check my email, THEN get me bandages for my wounds.
I like reading blogs like this… getting a glimpse into other writers’ lives. My schedule is the exact opposite really; My working hours are more along the lines of 11am-3 (or 4) am. Very much the night owl author, especially when I’m ghostwriting books or super creative projects – the later the better. Daytime hours are good for business projects, errands, networking, etc. but I do most of my significant writing after the sun sets. I can relate to scaring the mail man, although in my case it’s the neighbors since the mail man has come and gone when I get to the mailbox. When they see my skipping across the parking lot back to my condo, they guess that there’s a check involved or that my sanity needs to be checked again. And yes, I’m also a crazy email (multiple accounts for multiple purposes), myspace, facebook, linked in and every other type of online checker.
Camille – nothing like the “quick run” to drop someone off at the airport that ends up taking 2 hours because of rush hour traffic.
#3… say it ain’t so… my dream gig of $10 per 500 articles was ONLY a dream?! Where are my Dilly Bars????????
To be serious for a moment, I had reasons why I REALLY needed a laugh this afternoon, and you gave me a hearty guffaw. Thank you so much.
The ‘realize that coffee is not a meal’ thing is an every day occurrence for me, and ironically I always realize it between 1pm-4pm.
I also love the friends/family that think you don’t have a “real job” and that you’re just waiting around all day for something to do. Very cute.
My favorite….”Maybe if you stand still they won’t see you.” I’ve actually tried that trick!!!
My favorite was the 3:30 entry!!
#4 I’m glad. A well timed laugh means the world sometimes.
Alik Thank you! I would love to see a count of how many writers have almost turned into personal valets for the “real workers” of the world. On a side note, I have to also remind myself that chocolate is not a meal either.
Dee It’s like the T-Rex in Jurassic Park. Don’t move! :0)
Christine I used to be a night owl, then I got to the point where what I wrote at night made no sense in the am. :0)
Melissa Have you ever seen the old Saturday Night Live sketches with David Spade “And you are?”
Well done # 3, I’m definately an email checker.
Ha, this was hilarious! I’m pretty sure you made my day, #3.
I got a good laugh out of that piece, well done. I think you captured the life of a freelancer pretty well.
Christine W, I think you and I might be related. I’m also a night owl with multiple e-mail addresses for different purposes. I sometimes try to make people think I’m from California (although I’ve lived in NC all my life) because I’m always about 4 hours behind everybody else. At other times, I just tell them – with a totally straight face – that I have vampiric tendencies. My brain putters along during daylight hours, then kicks into overdrive at night. I keep a mini-cassette recorder beside the bed for the brilliance that strikes after I’ve finally abandoned the computer, and a digital recorder in my purse for the brilliance that strikes while I’m driving. I’ve also been known to spook the mail folks (we have a guy and a gal who deliver here). Lately, they’ve started returning the favor by barreling into the drive way and beeping the horn like crazy whenever I get a package or an envelope that they think looks important.
“Realize you’re holding a Dagwood Bumstead sandwich” – that made me LOL. I always wanted one of those sandwiches. Great post.
I get a little sad when I don’t have a new email each time I refresh. It’s a sickness.
I solved my e-mail obsession problem. My Outlook automatically checks all e-mail addresses every 5 minutes. For the moments when I am actually away from my computer *shudder* I have my e-mails forward to my cell phone so I can still easily check them.
Now if I can just stop sitting in my chair so long that my leg falls asleep it would be good. Can’t find a cure for that, but did find the consequence. Apparently the result of sitting and working too much is a broken foot which means you get to sit even more!!!!!!!!!
Nice post and funny… 3:30 pm is good LOL.
I am not a compulsive email checker. I simply stare. Sooner or later, it’s gonna blink.
Love this! I don’t even work F/T from home yet, and I can relate to this already! Thanks for the giggle
I so enjoy this “day-in-the-life.” While I am not at the point in my writing career where I have so much work, I sat here and laughed myself silly. Thanks so much for brightening my day with this!
Jenny B, Sara, Lisa, Cindy Thanks alot!
Chris Thank you, I write what I know :0)
AC Good job getting the postal service on board, now if they’d only bring you stamps!
Hanna Just a little bit of a let down. Except for the times you get bad news and then you wish you’d waited to check…
Cara I haven’t gotten it delivered to my phone yet, but only b/c I’m not a fan of the phone.
Vickey That is Hilarious – that’s right, stare ‘em down. THAT gave me a huge grin.
Quick question everyone – what’s the craziest thing you’ve done to check your email? What have you put on hold for email? Let’s share our addiction so we can be healed :0)
My worse was the asking the spouse to check email before stopping the bleeding. Did I mention I got a refusal? I wonder why?
I just can’t stop laughing. Excellent post. I don’t think I can point out what I identify with most….the caffeine? trying to place the little people? the nightmare? Ok, all of it!
constant email checker here, too. multiple accounts for different things. guilty!
LOL! This was a great post! I can identify with pretty much the whole schedule, except I sadly don`t have an office yet and am trying to work in the main room of our very tiny home with hubby and kids running around and over me.
This was awesome. Like Christine, I’m more of a night person, but I have all those things happen to me! My email is gmail and it automatically updates so I constantly check it. Once I woke up in the middle of the night and realized I left my laptop on. I went to turn it off and checked my email instead! I’ve also sleep blogged too!
<~~~ Automated Email Checker. I leave my Thunderbird program running and the instant any email comes in it lets me know.
I maximize the Thunderbird screen and see which of my accounts and multiple folders have little orange flowers by them. Some get ignored until a later time, but the work-related ones get opened immediately.
LOL!! I am email and IM addicted. Actually I’ve had to stop logging in to IM because I get NOTHING done. But I check my email, if I’m at home, every few seconds. And the second I come through the door if I’m out. And the second I wake up. Oh, and I read blogs obsessively as well. I should be leaving right now to pick my daughter up from camp…Oops! Great post! Bye!
Thanks for that article! This bit actually has tears of laughter on my face:
“Realize there are several small visitors and a person of the opposite sex coming in the door. They introduce themselves as your family. Nod as you try to place the faces.”
I often have a hard time ‘coming down’ from my brain-rush, fast paced writing day, and I know the bewildered ‘who are you, and what do you want?’ look on my face scares anyone who knocks on the door.
Nacie, Jen, Lindsey, Genesis Thank you! Genesis – that’s got to be tough.
#11 I won’t tell the productivity cops.
Dani I’d be dangerous with that program!
Andrea Just don’t email & drive!
LOL, You get an award for referencing penis in an article on freelance writing.
#3 Wonderful piece! I think humor can sometimes be tricky to write and you’ve got it down pat. Reminds me of Dave Barry. Dave, is that really you behind the #3?
I think you’ve written the most popular blog ever Jodee! Congratulations. Now you know the best way to get writers talking and sharing their eccentricities.
Thanks to everyone who related to my comment (I saw my name a few times above). Good to have company in my night owl habits.
Regarding email checking; I think we’re pretty normal in comparison to some people. For example, I saw Ryan Seacrest on Larry King Live once, talking about how he leaves his Blackberry on next to his bed at night and when it flashes (it actually WAKES HIM UP) – he gets up and responds to each incoming email. Having worked with the Hollywood people, I completely believe him too. Believe me fellow freelances – we’re all fine in comparison to that world (and some others I would imagine; Think “Wall Street” with Michael Douglas and Charlie Sheen).
Violette Isn’t that very writer’s dream!
Morgan I couldn’t tell if it was, but I think my bank account would reflect it if I was & sadly is doesn’t :0) Another idol of mine – wow! Thanks!
Christine Thanks from me & Jodee :0) Now I have a vision of Ryan Seacrest in rollers and an eye mask in bed. Yikes.
@ Christine: I can’t take credit for writing this, just posting it. The author was our Candidate #3.
@ #3: Now I have that picture in my mind of Ryan S. Yikes is right!
Oops – my bad; All my kudos to #3 then (are you a spy in a James Bond movie?
And of course always kudos to Jodee for managing this fabulous site. Now there’s a Seacrest word – fabulous (sing-songy)!
@ Christine: All of our FWJ Idol contestants are known only by their Candidate numbers to keep the voting from becoming a popularity contest. They do sound like spies, don’t they?
I do thank you for the kudos, though!