Will Write for $10… Under These Conditions
July 8, 2008 by Jodee
Filed under Freelance Writing
by Carly Schuna
FWJ readers, you’re all in for quite a treat because today is my lucky day! After my recent lobotomy I decided that writing for a lot of moola is overrated, and I just found a client that completely agrees with me! I thought it would take months to track someone down who thought it was OK to pay writers next to nothing, but you’d never believe it—instead, I had my pick of the litter!
Because I am just beside myself with excitement about this recent deal, I’m sharing my contract with all of you so that we can celebrate together! I’m still pinching myself after landing this absolutely unbelievable deal. Word for word, here it is:
WORK-FOR-HIRE SERVICE AGREEMENT
Between Candidate #4 (who will hereafter be referred to as “Contractor”)
and 2Good2BTrue Media
2Good2BTrue Media requires that Contractor perform the following services: write 500 articles per day, seven (7) days per week, 365 days per year. Each article will adhere to the following stipulations:
• must be rehashed content that is disguised as something new and original,
• must be a minimum of 1000 words,
• must be something no one really wants to read,
• must be fully researched with expert backup sources.
In return for services rendered, 2Good2BTrue Media will provide Contractor with the following:
• Ten (10) dollars per day (0.02 dollars per article), payable as found in spare change discovered in 2Good2BTrue Media’s couch cushions.
In addition, 2Good2BTrue Media will provide Contractor with the following upon Contractor’s immediate request:
• health, dental, vision, flood, disaster, car, homeowner’s, and mental health insurance,
• the ability to travel back in time at will to complete irrational deadlines,
• Dilly Bars when seasonally applicable.
Rush Fee. If at any time 2Good2BTrue Media makes a special request for the services designated above in five (5) minutes or sooner, Contractor agrees to complete the services in exchange for the normal ten (10) dollars plus the following compensation:
• psychic ninja powers.
This contract between Contractor and 2Good2BTrue Media is legally binding and may not be canceled for any reason. Contractor is legally obligated to perform the services designated above for 2Good2BTrue Media until moment of Contractor’s death and continuing into Contractor’s afterlife (if Contractor believes in that sort of thing). If Contractor is Hindu or Buddhist, contract will be binding infinitely throughout all of Contractor’s future lives.
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Sounds almost too good to be true if you asked me!
Very funny!
LOL, that’s so good! I especially like the Dilly Bars part…
Very funny!
Thanks for the laugh!
Hey! That sounds like my last gig!
I got such a shock when I found freelance sites with these kinds of projects posted. I almost chucked in the towel right then and there. I thought, if I have to compete with people who can write/ rehash hundreds of articles, at less than $5 per article, then I am obviously never going to be a paid writer. I decided that I didn’t even want to be a professional writer if that was the job description. With my last little bit of faith, I wrote some articles the way I wanted… well thought out, good length and on a variety of interesting subjects. I used these as the start of my portfolio and hey presto, an assignment and $100 the following week. Be the writer you want to be! And leave all these kinds of crappy jobs to people who are willing to settle.
That was a good one, thanks for the chuckle!
Very funny #4. Thanks.
I think this post was too snarky. While it’s obvious that you are lampooning low-paying clients, I believe it’s been made very clear that Deb and Jodee do post $10 jobs. Deb and Jodee rely on these clients to be advertisers to this site, and I feel that this post is unfair to $10 jobs. Maybe I wouldn’t have felt so negatively if the title had been “Will Work for Under $10.”
I’m really sorry I felt this way; the post was quite funny.
ROFL! I love the psychic ninja powers!!
Great Job #4 – it’s very funny – but sad at the same time because it’s so true!
Re: Psychc nija powers.
There’s a dry cleaner a mile or so from here named “Zen Cleaners.” I guess they clean clothes with mind power — not sure, use a different dry cleaner.
Lol. Hilarious. Thanks for the laugh.
CT: There’s a world of difference between writing *one* article for $10 and writing *five hundred* articles (a day!) for $10. I don’t really think #4 here was intentionally hating on the $10/per article gigs.
Hilarious post!
Scribette… tell me about it. It’s like a dream come true. I mean, Dilly Bars? It just doesn’t get any better than that.
Sara, Marjorie, Angela, Jenny B, and RobinMarie, thanks, guys.
Cindy, heck yes! Dilly Bar solidarity!
Donnell, it can’t be too much like your last gig because this client clearly signed my life + afterlife away. At least, I hope you fared better… but hey, if not, you have Dilly Bars.
Angel, exactly, that’s the underlying point. Jodee made a post somewhat like that a while ago, comparing freelance writing to dating. You just have to find the gigs that are high-quality work for you. There’s a lot of losers out there, and a lot of people (oops, I mean gigs… gigs) who you might dally with before quickly regretting it and wishing you could erase them from your past forever.
CT, there’s really no apology necessary. The way you feel is totally legitimate! FYI, I did think about your point before I wrote and posted this, but I (thought I) made it clear in my parody that the pay was $10 per day for like a zillion hours of work, and I think I can say with confidence that not even Deb or Jodee would endorse that. $10 per hour, on the other hand, for a reasonable amount of work, is something quite different. I value your comments and I’m glad you posted them.
Andrea, I know. I’m enjoying said powers as we speak.
Deb, ain’t it the truth?
Phil, holy crap. You’re honestly telling me you pass up the opportunity to go to Zen Cleaners? Don’t you know that clothes are 300% cleaner when cleaned with minds?
Sonya, thanks for pointing that out. You’re right–it definitely wasn’t my intention to slam the reasonable $10 gigs. Glad the post gave you a chuckle!
@ CT: I get where you’re coming from but I don’t think #4 was trying to belittle every $10 job. This post was poking fun at clients that pay $10 and then expect a ridiculous amount of work done two days before it was assigned. There’s nothing wrong with a $10 job that requires $10 worth of work but I do have a problem with $10 jobs that expect you to be a full time employee.
Good job #4 – This post was a good laugh to start off the day.
Silly question – what’s a “Dilly Bar”? Guess they don’t have them in Canada …
@ Scribette: They’re ice cream bars you get from Dairy Queen.
Jodee – thanks! Guess I am missing out …
Chad, woo-hoo! I’m happy you liked the post. Making people laugh is one of my fortes (at least, I like to think so).
Jodee, aren’t you Canadian yourself? I sense that someone has an illicit international addiction to Dilly Bars.
@ #4: Yes, I am a Canadian, and no, it’s not an addiction, because I can stop anytime I want!
That was great #4. I swear I’ve seen that job listed somewhere before (not at FWJ of course). I’m completely LMAO.
Too funny!! I want a Dilly Bar now. (I’m glad someone else asked what they were, because I’d never heard of them either.)
Neighbor Phil — I’ve seen the Zen Cleaners. I thought maybe they were one of those green/environmentally friendly joints. Fortunately, I don’t do much dry cleaning anymore. (See my comment on the pajama post.)
LOL, #9, at least I got to the gig before you did!
Amy, I can’t believe both you and Phil live near Zen Cleaners and NEITHER of you have been there! Sounds like a missed opportunity to me… and wait a second, you live in America and have never heard of Dilly Bars? Something’s fishy there.
#4 — (I don’t think I’ve ever called anyone a number before.) I live in a cave. What can I say?
Seriously… I haven’t been to a Dairy Queen since I was about five — they only served cones and cups then, I’m pretty sure. Actually, I didn’t know they were still in business. But now I have to find one. I like foods on sticks…………..
Phil — Maybe we should meet up at the Zen Cleaners (she suggests facetiously). You can pitch your PR writing services, and I can try to get them to start blogging. A real tag-team effort, and entertaining for the FWJ community to boot. Do you have a video recorder?
I swear, half the jobs on GetAFreelancer.com sound exactly like this!
Your title made me want to read this and I am glad I did. It was very good.
Amy, you’re missing out, dude. Once you taste that first Dilly Bar, you can never go back. I actually think part of the inspiration for this piece came from the fact that I live nowhere near a Dairy Queen and yet I was daydreaming about Dilly Bars the other day.
Chris, so many jobs…. so little time…….
Louise, oh, thank you! I’m so glad to hear that. I tried to make the title enticing, so it’s good to know it caught your eye!