FWJ Creative Project: Caption This
August 25, 2008 by Deb
Filed under Freelance Writing
by Deborah Ng
As creative types we all see things differently. Something that makes one of us laugh might not be humorous to someone else.
How many different ways can we all look at the same image?
Today’s community project is to caption this:
Caption This
Image via Newscom
“Elvira hoped her unfortunate green dress and wedged shoes would draw everyone’s attention away from her bad posture.”
Scary tall shoes: $100
Ugly green dress: $200
Ability to do a backbend over the Thanksgiving dinner table: PRICELESS
“Dah. Dis is da way americano models valk! Ridiculo, no?”
Eve, trying to be graceful, while learning to walk in her new wedged shoes.
“These elevator shoes are a pain in the ass !!”, said Twiggy.
_Chiropracticality News_ reports that more women than ever are experiencing silly shoes-induced pain. According to Dr. Lo Bak-Pain, “It is no secret that haute couture is in leagues with baser colleagues in our industry. That aside, as doctors, our mission should be to encourage women both tall and small in that they are beautiful no matter their size and can look professional without the pain of incomprehensibly silly shoes.”
Amy, who had just auditioned for an all-female tribute band for KISS (she would be playing the Gene Simmons character), had removed the stage make-up and fake blood but had just enough time to pose for our photo.
Does this make me scoliotic?
Katie Holmes finally had enough of Tom’s Scientology ways she spitefully incorporated his fears of taffeta party dresses, contortionists and banana slug yellow home furnishings into her daily repetoire.
Okay, why not one more (they say third time’s a charm)?!
==
Who says MacGyver is dead? I made this entire outfit from a ballroom curtain, electrical tape, discarded wig, and shoe-shaped paperweights I found in this theater green room, where I was imprisoned while waiting to audition for America’s Got Talent, Season 66.
The problem with King Midas’s little sister was that she was irresistible.
Local contestant Charles Wunderkind won what lurked behind Door Number 3: this attractive ecru dinnerware and lounge set (model not included).
Balancing Act 101.
Woman vs Man-made Shoes: Typically, a losing battle.
Headline/Caption:
(Reaching for support just in time for perfect photo shot), Young Model Poses with Tableful of Food in Hopes of Distracting Everyone that she Survives on 200 Calories a Day.
But hey, whatever it takes to make the outfit look good.
Isn’t it amazing that models can even make bad posture look good? Now that is true talent.
I’m going to Halloween as a Pine Tree
“So, what do you think, does my dress clash with the decor?”
Long after party-goers had left, Katelin has difficulty standing upright after a night of working the yellow shabby chic display.
“Does this dress make my butt look big?”
It isn’t easy being green
Project Runway’s latest losing design: Satin on a stick!
Can you ever have too much yellow? Yes.
BTW, one blog I write for requires a picture with each post. We weren’t told that we had to put captions on them, but I just started adding them and now that’s by far my favorite part of working on that blog.
Just sit right here, dahling. . . .
“Is my appendix on my right or is it on the left side?”
Static cling: The new fashion statement.
“No elegant dinner party is complete without today’s de rigeur high society accessory – a hooker right off of 42nd Street.”
This showcase can be yours if the Price is Right!
“Would you just snap the picture? My shoes are uncomfortable, my dress is ugly and this room is hideous. What are we selling, anyways?
Miranda, just minutes before leaving out the door for her Robert Palmer ‘Addicted to Love’ video tryout. Sadly, she never stood a chance.
Not only had she misread the audition memo that asked participants to wear an “Ebony” dress instead of Emerald, she also had no way of knowing that Robert Palmer had a deep-seated, latent hatred of wedge shoes and pageboy haircuts (after he came home early from school one day to find his father playing dressup.)
The humiliating debacle that ensued pushed Miranda over the edge, and she fled her design-challenged home for the safe haven of a writer’s colony, where she whiled the hours away pounding on her keyboard in a futile attempt to absolve herself of the angst.
All would work out well in the end, however. After three years of mixing her keyboard with a nightly carafe of Chianti, she finished her novel, ‘Green with Envy’, the semi-autobiographical tale of one fashion rebel’s triumph over music video tribulation.
Between her meager advance and the ensuing royalties that came from enjoying six months on the New York Times’ Best Sellers List, Miranda finally had enough money to fulfill her relentless dream of revenge.
She bought the Master Rights for the entire Robert Palmer music archive and now enjoys a life of leisure (as well as a long overdue upgrade to Merlot.)
She summers in the Hamptons and winters in Palm Beach, where she enjoys the sinfully guilty pleasure and sweet revenge of hiring the now-destitute Robert Palmer as her Cabana Boy (and gleefully requires him to always be attired in an Emerald thong, as well as endure a weekly back and bikini waxing in a Freudian attempt to demonstrate that some pains really do cut deeper than others.)
The hot new look for fall was inspired by estate auction home decor.
You guys are cracking me up. We definitely need to do this sort of thing more often. Some of you have a real knack.
Worst
Wedding
Color
Scheme
Ever!
@ Kreacher: Oh, bad, bad, Kreacher!
Not only do I have “Addicted to Love” stuck in my head (not that bad, actually) but I have pictured what Robert Palmer in a thong….(shuddering).
It was apparent in the prom photo that Milia had inherited her mother`s questionable taste.
“There will always be Tara.”
“These stupid shoes will not stay on! Can you tighten the straps for me?”
Dresses made of lettuces and blunt bangs are what’s new for fall.
Whhhhoooaaa! Whew. If I look serious enough no one will suspect that I just dislocated a vertebra in my back!
‘Do you think you’d prefer it in red?’
“If I move in the least bit my glasslike bones will shatter.”
“I hope no one notices the midget I’m hiding under my dress.”
“If I don’t make it to the bathroom soon, it’ll be too late to vomit the grape I just ate.”
“What Jodee looks like just before she sits down to send out the daily job list.”
btw, in case my tone doesn’t translate, that’s meant to be funny. You’re a job listing goddess, Jodee!
Tired of getting upstaged by her bright yellow and gold petals, the daffodil stem proves to all that she can hold attention all on her own.
The Clash: Not just a band anymore.
This is what happens to fussy freelancers who write nasty posts on FWJ.
“I need a taller counter…”
“The drapes? No, I’ve no idea where they went — why do you ask?”
Though standing in a kitchen surrounded by food, the model is not allowed to eat. In order to endure the long photo shoot, she has to lean as she si too weak to stand in platform shoes.