Writers and Editors – Friends?
September 25, 2008 by Terreece
Filed under Freelance Writing
As a freelance writer, you get to meet all sorts of people and often you make some unlikely friends. I’ve been lucky to cultivate friendships among many of my interview subjects and some of my editors, however, friendships with editors can be a dicey subject.
Editors often feel besieged by writers who want to be “friends,” but that friendship often entails the writer really only being friendly enough to get a writing job. Writers are also weary of friendships with editors because they fear being taken advantage of. So can writers and editors be friends?
Well, there’s friendly and then there’s friendship and then there is freaky/fake.
Friendly is a writer who follows an editor on Twitter, Facebook or at their blog and comments when they have something to contribute to the conversation.
Friendly is shooting an editor a quick email just to see how they’re doing – not what they’re working on or if they have anything for you.
Friendship is when you all hang out on the weekends discussing non-work related issues. Friendship is when you know their birth date and kids’ names.
Freaky is a writer telling an editor about their colon issues in their first email exchange. Freaky/Fake is a writer telling an editor everything they say or blog, is the smartest, funniest, most wonderful thing they’ve ever heard. Editors love flattery, but sheesh.
For editors, friendly is shooting a quick congrats email to a writer who has written something great for someone else.
Friendship is inviting a writer to dinner the next time they are in town. Friendship is checking on a writer who lives in Galveston to see if they are okay – not if they’ll make their deadline.
Freaky is trying to get a writer to take a pay cut because you’re “friends.” Freaky/Fake is keeping great opportunities for a writer to yourself because you don’t want to share.
The thing to remember folks, is that not everyone will be or should be your friend, but there is nothing wrong with being friendly. And when a writer has a friendship with an editor, both parties need to make an effort to keep business and friendship separate.
Writers – don’t flake out on a deadline because Bob’s your buddy and editors, don’t mail a check late because Cindy knows you’re good for it.
Anyone have any friends on the other side of the masthead? Got a freaky/faker stalking you on Twitter?
I have a number of friends who hire writers, be they editors or communications directors, and I don’t write for them. These are people I knew before they landed their positions, rather than friendships that grew out of working together.
I think there is a fear that working together could rock the friendship boat if things went wrong. So instead of hiring me directly, they forward job ads that are relevant for me, refer me to other editors, give me advice when I need to understand the editor perspective.
I also prefer not to work for them directly, because the one time I worked for a friend was a disaster. She was a managing editor of a well-respected national magazine and my freelance biz was going through a rough patch, so I was grateful for all the work she could throw at me. What I didn’t know was that the pub was in financial trouble, and their experienced freelance writers were refusing new work until they were paid. That’s why she had a huge mountain of work for me. By the time I realised the pub was not going to pay, they owed me a large sum of money. I never did get paid. They folded while I was still trying to collect, so I had to join the long line of creditor hoping to get a fraction of the amount owed.
Yikes! That last gig sounds like a nightmare.
I live in Saint Paul, a very small town. All of my work is here as well. I have to expect that I know everyone that’s hiring me, and that they know me. And my partner in life. And my ex wife. Possibly my kids.
I still get gigs for all the local newspapers, strangely, so I must not be doing something too terribly stupid or arrogant.
I’m a newbie freelance writer and aspiring editor, so I haven’t had the chance to make many friends in the publishing world as of yet!
It’s a similar dynamic between writers and PR people. They need us, we need them, and there’s also the potential for one person to make the other’s job either very easy or incredibly difficult. As with any situation where you’re mixing work and friends, I agree that it’s best to proceed with caution and go in with your eyes open.
Terreece,
This is similar to the question “can men and women really be friends.” I liked the points you made about knowing each other, caring for each other and spending time together – even when there is no job to be had.
Although I’m relatively new in the freelance business, I have run across a couple of editors that seem to have similar personalities to my own. I suspect that in time we will develop friendships. As long as we continue to respect each others occupations and positions – and don’t cross work with friend time – then it should be fine.
Great post! I’m an editor and I work with freelance proofreaders, copyeditors, and indexers. There are definitely those that I’m friendly with, and those that I’m borderline friends with (they may become friends… I’ve only been here a year and still getting to know many of them), and some that fall into neither category. Luckily I don’t have any in the freaky/fake area. But there is certainly a big difference from the editor’s perspective getting an email from a freelancer who is checking in (but clearly only interested in getting work)–I hate these; I’ll contact you!–and getting an email from a freelancer who is checking in to see how I’m doing, how my vacation was, if it’s true that I just got a promotion, etc.–I love these. Although in the latter case, I don’t doubt that the freelancer is also trying to remind me that she’s around looking for work but why not be friendly at the same time instead of just pestering?
Thanks for the post.
Jess
http://bookpublishing.today.com
I conduct friendships with my Editors in the same way I would if I were working in an office with the person (I just don’t make the contact with them every single day).
So for me that is checking in from time to time with a birthday or ‘hope you enjoyed your vacation’ message, and similar. I also communicate with my Editors on IM, so there is always room for a quick quip or friendly comment on a daily basis. One Editor I have we actually chat a lot in IM and it’s turned into a great chatty friendship as we have a lot in common, and not one that changes any part of our working relationship.
A couple times I year I do mail out letting them know which months I am looking for extra work above my current contracts, ‘and to please consider me if anything comes up in that time frame’. Or I send pitches and so on to them (friendships with Editors aside, that is a part of being a freelance writer). But I don’t mix ther two. Personal notes are personal and friendly notes are seperate e-mails at different times.
Really though, it’s all about being able to read the person and know for yourself where the boundaries with each individual Editor (or writer) really is.
Hmmm… and I was just considering re-thinking my stance on the Twitter, social media thing! Twitter stalkers sound like you need an exterminator to get rid of them.
Jamie – It’s not that bad seriously, plus you can un-follow or block any weirdos :0)
Aurora – Good advice – like an office relationship. Makes sense.
Jess- Thanks for chiming in!
Kathryn – Venus/Mars, hmmm. So what would writers and editors be? Saturn and Jupiter? Earth and Mercury? lol.
Susan – Good point.
Erik – Where everybody knows your name, dum, dum, dum dum, and they’re always glad you came…sorry I miss Cheers.