Sorry guys, I just had to get it all out and phrase things properly here… Thanks for reading, if you did!

Alright, I’ve elaborated enough .

The idea that you “are home all day” or somehow don’t work hard, or don’t have the same job security as someone else is something so many people look upon skeptically. I think the chase for the right freelance work is part of the excitement, and that’s probably a reason for my success. But to “traditional society,” where a steady single employer who covers your health insurance and 401K, it’s not so exciting. It’s scary, or unstable… there isn’t often much encouragement for those who choose to live a freelance life, be they dancers, musicians, actors, or writers. But the reality is, we can find stability too, as long as we’re focused.

So, with that said, I’d also advise: Don’t allow the conceptions of others about “freelance writing” or “being a freelance writer” to influence the way you perceive money. You have to have a good attitude about money, and job security, and risk, to succeed, and especially to ask for a raise.

I highly recommend the book “Trump-Style Negotiation.” It’s my business knowledge that has allowed me not to have much fear as a freelancer. Although I’ve never been in the position to ask for a raise, I’ve never been shy about discussing payment, and I never apologize for bringing it up or discussing it. Money is important, we all like to get paid, it’s a matter-of-fact subject, and you have to make sure you have a good attitude towards money. (If you don’t, check out “Secrets of the Millionaire Mind” by T. Harv Ecker – this makes a great audio book for listening while driving).

Also, watch The Big Idea with Donny Deutsch, weeknights at 10pm (eastern) on CNBC. The attitude and mindset bred by watching such a phenomenal program is one of confidence, not fear or worry.

Another key is to not fear a lack of work if you lose the job for which you ask for a raise. You have to know your value, and you have to believe that you’ll be recognized as such, and have the attitude of “no big deal, I have other options.” (But actually pay attention to other options. A big part of success in freelance or entrepreneurship is keeping your eyes open for opportunities).

I’d say always hope for the best, make sure you’re thinking positive and feeling good. Then, ask for a raise when you have that positive feeling about it, when – based on the work, the attitude of the client and the professional relationship you have – you feel that the probability that you’ll hear a YES is high.

Asking for a raise takes those determined, driven, law-of-attraction, optimistic, confident, entrepreneurial skills, rather than the skills you need to write well. It’s all about your attitude.

What happened to self-esteem? The past, very often, and events that are decades old. Wish I could do something about it, and this post is my way to help break that vicious cycle.

There is no negotiation with someone who thinks that you are only worth a certain amount of money regardless of your performance, no matter what industry you are in.

The only thing that bothered me about this article is not the subject matter or how it is written (great job!) but that it starts from the point that we should be finding the confidence to ask for a raise – what happened to our self-esteem in the first place that we need to look for confidence? Consistently excellent performance is worth a cost of living raise per year, if not more. That’s the equation, there is no other. If your employer balks when you ask for a raise, you need to balk at your employer.

I also walked away from a job this summer. In this case, the Web site owner said he was drafting a new contract that would lead to everyone getting a 50 percent pay cut. I couldn’t afford that. Sadly, others on the team accepted it, so the owner got what he wanted. After a little negotiation, I managed to find a place that will take on the work I was doing for this guy and I’m getting a 5% pay increase over what he was paying. So it also worked out.