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Help me call a doctor! I’m starting to make even myself sick!
In these tough economic times companies have gotten increasingly desperate for product placement opportunities. Verizon, Starbucks and Craisins have all taken to paparazzi shots for their product with D list celebrities.
The last attendee who taps her nose when she sees Richard Simmons is the loser.
“Excuse me, Richard? Mrs. Claus just called – she wants her lingerie back.”
I think it might be raisins, but maybe it’s cranberries… Can I phone a friend?
“Silly girl! Of course the cellphone has less calories than the craisins!”
The dry cleaner called, can you believe it? After fifteen years, they finally found my pants!
FINALLLLLY, IT’S OOOOPRAHHH
Holy Christmas, Santa Claus! They found out I’m a sham! Gimme those craisins.
Richard Simmons:
“Hey I found your cell phone! It was stuck in my butt for a week!!! See? She’s getting a whiff over there! Oooh, raisins. Don’t mind if I do!”
“I think I peed a little”!
For God’s sake Santa, put some clothes on!
“Does this totally gay, fur-lined Santa top make me look fat?”
“I just love chatting on my new Verizon phone while Sweatin’ to the Oldies!”
I’m blind and sterile!!!!!!!!!!!!!
“Oh My Fat-Free Craisins! This new contraption’s ring-tones make me want to Simmonsize!”
Oooooouuuucccchhhhhh my hemorrhoids.
Oh my God! How far is she going to mine that right nostril? Maybe I don’t want to borrow her phone afterall.
“Hey everyone, Shirley’s gonna break the record for how many Craisins she can stuff up her nose! What’s Guinness’s phone number?”
“You mean this isn’t the Christmas UndercoverWear party?”
or
“You want a nut with that fruit?”
You did what with those craisins??? Let me get a quick shot of it! Nobody will believ this.
OMG…are you serious? I have to eat ALL the craisins? IM Mrs. Claus and tell her I’m DONE filling in for her!!!