How to Write 50 Articles a Day

http://www.freelancewritinggigs.com/2009/01/50-articles-a-da/

Today’s lesson is on how to write 50 articles a day, because apparently someone felt the need to learn that skill and searched Freelance Writing Gigs for the term.

Allow me to be of assistance:

Set your alarm for 00:01.Assuming it takes you 20 minutes to write approximately 350 words (assuming you’re brilliant, need no editing, make no mistakes and are perfect in every way, just like Mary Poppins), you’ll need approximately 25 hours to write all 50 articles.

Don’t eat, go to the bathroom, or sleep.Well, you could if you want to, but make sure that you restrict these activities to the remaining 8.3 hours you have available to work with. Every minute counts, after all. On the other hand, if you skip these three activities, you’ll have more time to relax when the dirty work is done.

Plagiarize heavily. There’s almost no way that you’ll be able to be original, creative and thoughtful while writing steadily for nearly 17 hours, so your best bet is to steal, rip off and otherwise plagiarize everything you can. Besides, why bother writing when someone else already did it for you?

Move stuff around. Because you don’t want to get caught for being a content con-artist, you’re going to have to make the work you stole look somewhat like yours. Forget rewriting; you don’t have time. Just move a few paragraphs or sentences around and hope that works.

Lose your ethics and morals. You’re going to have to ditch all personal ethics and morals to accomplish this type of work. That shouldn’t be a problem, because if you’re a content theft, you probably don’t have many to get rid of. Shed the last vestiges by chanting, “Breaking the law is good,” while you write.

Get rid of your kids. You probably don’t want your children picking up on your back-alley shady profession (unless you plan to put them to work for you later on in life), so have someone else watch the kids for the day. That way, you don’t have to be a role model while they watch.

Go techno. If the long hours of hard labor doesn’t sound very appealing, shell out the money for one of those fancy software programs that basically garble the work of honest writers and spit out 10 to 30 variations. You’ll pad someone else’s pocket nicely and be able to crank out tons of crap in just minutes.

The alternative to this plan on how to write 50 articles a day is, of course, to learn the proper skills to write well, operate with good business ethics, and charge customers according to your experience and ability.

Unfortunately, going this route in life might leave you with a sense of pride, fulfillment, and personal satisfaction at a job well done, so that might hamper all your efforts to screw the system forever and give you morals.

You may not be able to write 50 articles a day, but you’ll sleep a lot better at night knowing you’ve earned your money honestly.

Want more great advice on being a successful freelancer without staying awake 17 hours a day? Check out The Unlimited Freelancer. It’ll teach you better business practices to work less and still make good money.

Comments

  1. Hey… there are only 20 hours in a day?

    -”you’ll need approximately 16.6 hours to write all 50 articles.”
    -”the remaining 3.4 hours you have available”

  2. what a great post! yesterday I balked at applying for a job which required writing 10 articles a day. I cant even do 10 forget 50!!!!

  3. @ Analise – *laughs* I’ll go correct that now. If I’d been good in math, I would’ve been an accountant. The pay rate is way better.

  4. This is a great post. 50 articles a day – wow. And to think that was impossible!! Ha ha!

    James – I also checked out your website. Kinda don’t like that dark grey wall with the black type. Hard to read. But it looks like you have some good stuff there.

  5. LOL…this is pretty funny stuff. You know what the funniest thing is? Someone who is trying to inundate the web with half-*ss articles that may or may not be a grade above PLR (which is saying nothing) are really shooting themselves in the foot.

    Good articles get mentioned.

    Great articles get mentioned and get backlinks CONTEXTUALLY and UNSOLICITED which in turn makes your website popular (or at the very least, that article)

    Bad or Poor articles just become search fodder that will wind up (eventually) in the supplemental index OR so far back in the SERPS that it wouldn’t matter anyway.

  6. Maybe 50 articles a week if they are short and you don’t need research like for simple blog posts. But I have a hard enough time writing 50 words a day, never mind articles.

  7. Seriously good post! I could not resists Googling your blog topic, and I’m thoroughly disgusted with the ‘advice’ others give on how to do this. I hope writers who really want to know how to write 50 a day find this blog post before all the crap borderline-plagiarism advice out there. :)

  8. Wait. You mean those job offers asking you to write 50 articles a day aren’t legit?

  9. I couldn’t even *edit* 50 articles per day!

  10. Haha, sad but true. There are crafty vices out there to help folks create various article to make it seem like they created fresh content. I got a good laugh, thanks for sharing!

    -Mig

  11. Good post. You should’ve added “Start a sweat shop – Pay 5 people $.50/article to write 10 articles each.”

  12. Fabulous, fabulous. I love this!

    And, darn, with a schedule like this, when am I going to find time to knit?

  13. Awesome. I have no other words. And awesome falls short.

  14. This made me laugh out loud, James. I think I’d rather sleep at night and avoid the risk of RSI.

  15. Thanks for the laugh, James! I really enjoyed this post. I know I should probably say more, but I can’t think of nothing more right now. Why? Well, because it’s late here (1:30am) and I just finished writing one article that drained me. Can you believe that? One article has left me speechless, so I can only imagine trying to come up with the words for 49 more…LOL… Anyway, I wanted to thank you for the laugh and let you know I enjoyed your post. :)

  16. Hilarious Article lol , Great stuff .

    But there people that can research and write one article in 7 minutes , It’s possible , And then rewrite it in 8 different writing formats , Do the same for about 6 times , Which would take about 6 hours , I’ve seen this and it’s possible .

    And if you actually use a voice recognition system that transcripts your audio , You can simply double this amount ! .

    Cheers

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