Today’s lesson is on how to write 50 articles a day, because apparently someone felt the need to learn that skill and searched Freelance Writing Gigs for the term.
Allow me to be of assistance:
Set your alarm for 00:01.Assuming it takes you 20 minutes to write approximately 350 words (assuming you’re brilliant, need no editing, make no mistakes and are perfect in every way, just like Mary Poppins), you’ll need approximately 25 hours to write all 50 articles.
Don’t eat, go to the bathroom, or sleep.Well, you could if you want to, but make sure that you restrict these activities to the remaining 8.3 hours you have available to work with. Every minute counts, after all. On the other hand, if you skip these three activities, you’ll have more time to relax when the dirty work is done.
Plagiarize heavily. There’s almost no way that you’ll be able to be original, creative and thoughtful while writing steadily for nearly 17 hours, so your best bet is to steal, rip off and otherwise plagiarize everything you can. Besides, why bother writing when someone else already did it for you?
Move stuff around. Because you don’t want to get caught for being a content con-artist, you’re going to have to make the work you stole look somewhat like yours. Forget rewriting; you don’t have time. Just move a few paragraphs or sentences around and hope that works.
Lose your ethics and morals. You’re going to have to ditch all personal ethics and morals to accomplish this type of work. That shouldn’t be a problem, because if you’re a content theft, you probably don’t have many to get rid of. Shed the last vestiges by chanting, “Breaking the law is good,” while you write.
Get rid of your kids. You probably don’t want your children picking up on your back-alley shady profession (unless you plan to put them to work for you later on in life), so have someone else watch the kids for the day. That way, you don’t have to be a role model while they watch.
Go techno. If the long hours of hard labor doesn’t sound very appealing, shell out the money for one of those fancy software programs that basically garble the work of honest writers and spit out 10 to 30 variations. You’ll pad someone else’s pocket nicely and be able to crank out tons of crap in just minutes.
The alternative to this plan on how to write 50 articles a day is, of course, to learn the proper skills to write well, operate with good business ethics, and charge customers according to your experience and ability.
Unfortunately, going this route in life might leave you with a sense of pride, fulfillment, and personal satisfaction at a job well done, so that might hamper all your efforts to screw the system forever and give you morals.
You may not be able to write 50 articles a day, but you’ll sleep a lot better at night knowing you’ve earned your money honestly.
Want more great advice on being a successful freelancer without staying awake 17 hours a day? Check out The Unlimited Freelancer. It’ll teach you better business practices to work less and still make good money.