10 Work at Home Truths (That No One Will Admit)
February 21, 2009 by Deb Ng
Filed under Freelance Writing
Friends don't let friends wear bunny slippers.
by Deb Ng
This isn’t one of those “work at home myths exposed” blog posts. If you’re looking for talk about how hard it is to work at home with people calling at all times of the day and night, or how folks don’t really think you have a job if you work at home, this isn’t it. Instead, I’m going to expose the REAL truth behind working at home.
1. No one thinks bunny slippers are cute. Maybe you bought them because that’s what people think folks who work at home really wear, or maybe you bought them because you thought they were oh so adorable, but I assure you, you’re the only one. If you graduated from college dorms, you’re too old for bunny slippers. Really, if you’re 45 and walking around in filthy, fuzzy slippers…no one is thinking you’re special in a good kind of way, if you know what I mean. You’re welcome.
2. The dog wants to go out 20 times a day. Honestly, does any animal have to go as often as a dog? How come he can hold it in all day when we’re visiting grandma, but when I’m home, he has to go often? And by often I mean he comes into my office on an hourly basis and sits in front of me whining until I get up and open the back door.
3. Kids will not keep themselves occupied if they know you are home. Make as many trips to the craft store as you like, buy as many videos on sale as you can, but the truth is, it won’t hold them. 12 minutes after you sit down to get some work done, someone will want something. Or they will fight. Or they will want something to eat. Or they will fight. Or they will take it upon themselves to paint. Or they will fight.
4. That key lime pie in the fridge won’t last a day. That key lime pie you bought for dessert after dinner? Yeah. Good luck with that.
5. VH-1 Reality Shows are like a train wreck. I’ll admit it even if you don’t. If Rock of Love or I Love Money is on you will watch it, and you will watch it every week because you want to know who is going home.
6. The more work I take on the more dust collects on my workout videos. Hip Hop Abs? Got it. Wii fit? Got it! Sweating to the Oldies? No. I have to draw the line at Richard Simmons. I have plenty of ways to work out, and plenty of excuses not to. Remember this: “When I’m working at home every day, I’ll have more time to exercise and lose all the baby weight.” Mmm hmm. We know how that turned out, don’t we?
7. Twitter is addicting. If you follow me during the day you know no explanation is necessary here.
8. It’s a given UPS will ring the bell the second I exit the shower. Or else I’m getting productive in the bathroom and can’t get up. It’s never convenient and never at a time when I have clothes on.
9. I need to sit on my hands more often. Now that I work at home I think I’m supermom. I volunteer for class mom and den mom. Need cupcakes? Deb raises her hand. Need help with crafts? Deb raises her hand. Need carpooling? Deb raises her hand. Must. Stop. Raising. Hand.
10. Working at home is nothing like I thought it would be during my office-working days. I fantasized about working at home. Every time one of my shrill, cranky bosses got on my back or used me as a scapegoat to cover up their own eff ups, I dreamed of a time when I would be able to work at home. I wouldn’t change my life now for anything, but it’s nothing like I thought it would be. It’s harder, but more rewarding. It’s lonelier, but I’m making more friends than ever before. It’s busier, but I’m making a better name for myself. It’s the best thing I could have done for myself.
That I don’t have to stand jam packed on a crowded, stinky train, only to work for a bunch of abusive individuals who are taking all the frustrations out on the people whose work they take credit for, makes every inconvenience absolutely worth it. The truth about working at home is this: It’s what you make of it. If you work hard despite all the obstacles, you will do well.
And really, there’s no excuse for bunny slippers.
Are you mocking my bunny slippers? Oh who am I kidding, working from home, I have a hard enough time convincing myself to bother with pants…let alone slippers.
Same thing for Sheep slipper?
I’m just askin’ …..
How about lime green flip flops?
I don`t do bunny slippers, but my flip flops are standard uniform around here.
I love your list. It`s so very true. Except the part about reality shows because we don`t watch TV, just videos, thank goodness. Because otherwise, I really would watch them all.
And the part about kids . . . wow. Again, spot on. My kids spend 45% of their time fighting, 25% asking for food or getting it themselves and 60% of the time making a mess (yeah, that doesn`t work out, but it`s cuz they all overlap!).
Ditto #3. For real.
@ Genesis: Flip flops are fine….mine are pink.
I really needed a good laugh this morning, thanks for the smile!
Deb,
Great post with a lot of truth that can probably apply to everyone.
Re: #1 – First off, bunny slippers are only acceptable when made out of real bunnies.
Re: #4 – Yuck, key lime pie. Now cheesecake, that is a different story!
Re: #5 – I don’t watch the VH1 reality shows, though I am addicted to Bravo’s Top Chef and Project Runway. But the big lie about the television is: “Oh, I just have it on for background noise” – Yeah, right.
Re #6 – The only thing that has worked for me in the area of exercise is that during the non-winter months I go and take an hour long walk on the local park loop trail and when I’m done I write on a picnic table until my laptop runs out of battery juice… getting out of the house is a great way to break up the work day too.
Re #9 – I’ll do that too, plus when you combine it with the attitude some people have that because you work at home you have a lot of free time to help out with any and everything that comes down the road, it can get frustrating.
#2 is EXACTLY the case for me…except it’s my cat. I feel like “doorman” should be put on my resume, given the number of times I open the door to let her out, let her in, let her out, let her in.
She has me trained very well.
Oh, this list is hilarious–because it’s so true! Hello, American Idol? I honestly do not watch tv…except, um, for AI. Which adds so much to my writing productivity, lol!
And the dog? Who knew his eyes were so big, so brown, and so sad all day long when I’m home? The animal version of kids, cuz he knows he can get to me since I’m right there for him!
Thanks for the Saturday morning laugh. Needed that today.
Mine is court shoes and bare feet. But yea, I swear I’d be more productive in an office, there isn’t NEAR the distractions.
GAH, court SHOWS not shoes, but yea, see??? I should be working….
Here, Here on Number 9.
I need to stop the phrase, “Well I work from home, so I have time…”
It’s a problem.
Everybody’s experience is slightly different:
1. Barefoot, not slippers and especially not slippers with an animal motif. Drunken hunters around here would damage my feet faster than Elmer Fudd would damage Bugs Bunny.
2. The cats have me trained: they know that I’m not available as ambulatory furniture when I’m at the computer. I know that when I’m not at the computer, I’m at their disposal.
3. When I met Other Half and retired deep into the hills of Tennessee from the security of an urban environment (one of the murder capitals of the United States), little did I realize that she was the “normal one” of the bunch and that her family was the original Hillbilly Freak Show. Who needs reality TV when Saturday nights are spent bailing cousins out of jail in three counties?
4. Twitter is a sound coming from the back yard on Saturday nights. Ten years, and I still haven’t dared to investigate.
5. UPS doesn’t stick around for signatures in this area – not since a driver was eaten by a mountain lion.
6. I learned (in basic training) not to volunteer.
And no, I don’t write humor.
Great list! I don’t wear slippers myself and I prefer bare feet but everything is accurate. I find that with kids I need to expand it to my husband too. I have actually had him walk into my office and say, “I’m bored, there’s nothing to do.” Ummm…can you see I’m working.
I also find my kids, even if dad is watching them, will come in to ask me for everything, even if he is in the same room as them. Then we have a fight about how dad can’t get a glass of water for them because it just doesn’t taste the same as the glass I get for them.
Still, I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
I guess that’s why I started getting up by 5am on weekdays. I can get so much done while the dogs, and everyone else, are still sleeping. Then by the time anyone is up I’m so into whatever I’m doing they know better than messing with me . . . and if not, I’ve accomplished enough that I feel okay about taking a few minutes off.
Sit on hands. Sit on hands. Sit. On. Hands.
Truly, I do value the flexibility to volunteers during standard working hours. I struggle with the automatic reflex to volunteer for everything that everyone needs — and work until 3:00 a.m. to make up for it.
I wouldn’t trade it, though.
Oh yeah, #3. It’s difficult for kiddos (especially young ones) to understand.
Ah.. Really? I still like my bunny slippers.
I don’t necessarily think their adorable, but there’s just something about them that helps kick my creative-juices into gear.
Afterall, what writer doesen’t benefit from having two silent companions to bounce their ideas off of?
Oh yeah. My husband was laid off two months ago and he is now my BIGGEST problem! 100 times worse than the kids. And at a time when I need to be making some money!!
My older dog used to drink and pee in an almost symphonic way. Sun comes up, drink and pee;sun getting hotter, drink and pee some more; hotter still, her head’s been in that water bowl for 10 minutes and I can only see her butt peering out from one of the bushes on occasion.
Whenever I’d start a new chapter in a book, too, her bladder responded in an almost Pavlovian way. Is it me or is she heading for that door again?
And, yes the UPS man always comes at the most inopportune times. For me it’s the post lady. I hear the door bell ring and she’s almost too happy “Heeeere’s your mail.” “It’s okay to leave it at the door,” I reply. She says, “Oh no honey, it’s nothing at all.” Grrrrr.
Fridge is way too close.
I don’t Twitter, and you pointed out the reason way. E-mail, phone and other distractions (kids are teens, so that’s not an issue except for early am wars before school between kids and betweed kids and wife. Solid oak door not soundproof enough.
Wow, is this ever on the mark when it comes to dogs and volunteering. And for some reason, my darling husband thinks that since I work at home it means I am also Haus Frau (must be the living in Germany thing). No, I cannot pick up dry cleaning and run a zillion errands and still write what I need to each day…how do we explain that. My dogs mostly understand that after I walk them a couple times…
Another thought: Treadmill is closer than the fridge, but doesn’t get used as much. Even so, for those who live in colder climates (I’m outside Chicago), even a little-used treadmill (just got off mine) can be a good investment for when you need a break from the computer.
Managed to not be chained to the computer yesterday (worked at the venue instead) so I missed this. ROFL – you so nailed it.
Re: #1 – No bunny slippers for me – GA redneck couture requires bare feet as often as possible.
Re: #2 – Dog wants out, dog wants in, dog wants out, dog wants … (you get the picture.) Cats – they think that when I open my office door it means the cat amusement park is officially open. Chase goes from chair to chair to top curio cabinet to top of bookcase to top of mom …
Re: #3 – Add in husband to that list. “Honey, you won’t believe what I just saw on the news.” (and let me spend the next 30 minutes to 2 hours telling you all about it) “Honey, we need to go to the grocery store.” (translates to “Drop everything and get your purse & shoes because I’m ready to go now.”) And the best … “Hey honey, since you’re not doing anything, want to fool around?” While you’re at it, add mom too. Ever since she retired, my phone rings off the hook with suggestions that we go shopping, go to lunch, go hang out, etc. It would be nice but unlike her, my house isn’t paid off, my mailbox doesn’t get retirement checks regularly and my kids aren’t all grown and out on their own.
Re: #6 – Six years later – oh yeah – we know how that worked out.
Re: #9 – I finally learned to keep my hand down and my mouth shut but sadly, that doesn’t affect my neighbors at all. The general consensus among my neighbors seems to be that I’m the backup baby-sitter. Want to hang out with your boyfriend after work instead of being home when your kid gets home from school? No problem! When your 9-year-old can’t get in, she’ll just walk the mile down to Kim’s house and she can stay there until 8 or 9 o’clock when you finish up. And don’t worry about getting your sorry butt out of the car to say thank you. Oh no … just sit in the driveway and blow the horn until your child comes out and then squeal tires to get away before Kim gets outside because you know that she’s going to chew you a new one for being so irresponsible. Decide to use your day off to go shopping and can’t make in home in time for your 8-year-old to be met at the bus stop? No problem! If you’re not there the bus driver will just drop your daughter off at Kim’s house because he knows that she’s home and she wouldn’t want a young child left alone.
No bunny slippers here. I’m not a slipper kind of person, though. Hmm, but maybe I should consider getting some…get out of my rut…
No. 3 is the biggest killer for me. I have an almost-three-year-old son. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve had to do an interview when he was supposed to be napping and wouldn’t. I’ve had to say, “Can you excuse me for a moment?” and then furiously negotiate with him to watch an episode of “Sesame Street” while I finish up my phone call. Normally, he’d go for that because he doesn’t get to watch much television. But when I’ve got a hard-to-pin-down source on the phone, that’s when he suddenly, inexplicably doesn’t care that Elmo and Zoe are having a “who can wear the most hats” contest. Argh.
Ha. I can never make it to the door before my UPS person is seen running down the stairs. It’s called drop and run, apparently faster than waiting on me to answer.
I’m too lazy to cook lunch for myself and rarely go out anymore at lunch. So, usually it’s cereal, or – if I have them – leftovers. Not as glam as office lunches!
You mean I won’t be using that exercise bike we just bought? Or the bike I just ordered. Darn.
This was a great way to start my Monday! And not I’m stalking you on Twitter!
#1 – I don’t like bunny slippers, but my fuzzy socks with little massage nubs on the bottom – that’s a different story.
#2 – That’s why I only own cats.
#3 – Just as I started reading this, my teen son came down whining that his sister is watching girly shows and won’t find something they both can watch. But just you wait, he’ll get even when later both mom and son watch Steve Wilkos together (falls under #5).
#4 – Chocolate is my weakness – key lime pie, I don’t worry about.
#8 – Really don’t worry about it because I shower at 5:30 a.m. and my UPS men know me so well it no longer matters what I look like when they come to the door. They’ve seen me covered in baby spit up from my teen neighbor’s baby and my nephew, they’ve seen me with and without make-up. I no longer care.
#9 – Quite seriously, for those like me, who still offer to make things for school. Author Joanne Fluke added a neat recipe to her upcoming book that I tested out this weekend. Don’t leave them lying around because they are addictive, but with two nilla wafers, a smear of red frosting, a chocolate covered shortbread cookie (round), a smear of yellow frosting, dyed green coconut and then egg white and sesame seeds, you can make these adorable hamburger looking cookies that the kids at my daughter’s basketball fell in love with. (we did skip the coconut since she hates it.)
@JenniferL: Yes, my children seem to sense when I need to be on the phone. I’ve tried hard to work calls around them, but they seem to have developed a sixth sense about it. No manner or bribery seems to work.
#3…Don’t I know it! I was even deluded enough to think that I could home school AND work from home! hahahahahahahahaha…meh! They’re going back to school next year!
As for Twitter…I’m almost there. One client has me doing social bookmarking for his site and all I can think is…what a great (addictive) way to get my work out there. Great article!
My Autism Insights,
Bikes (the handlebars) make good coathangers — I have two coats on mine. Switched to treadmill because I already sit too much each day.
Okay, I don’t get to work from home–yet–so the bunny slippers sound awesome to me!
All points are amplified when you are trying to work at night. Dogs, kids, and a husband who rewinds the show because I just have to see something! Who invented Tivo anyway?!
Oh my — what a great to have discovered on a Monday morning! #2 is, oh, so true — I sometimes think my dog is conspiring against me with all of his pleas to go outside even though he just went out ten minutes earlier.
Deb, thanks for that yummy bit of brain candy. I have two dogs that take turns. If you ignore them, they start chasing and messing with the cats… if you leave them outside, they start barking at nothing… and not mention, for every phone call a wrestling match must begin at my feet.
Wow, reading this, I guess my dog is pretty well-trained (at least insofar as going pee). We take a walk before I start work and he then sleeps and lounges around until my wife gets home and takes him for an evening walk. It’s extremely rare that he bothers me during the day. I’ll be giving him an extra treat today, after reading some other stories.
I definitely agree with the UPS man–he comes every day right around the time I walk the dog. If I’m expecting something and see the truck, I’ll beeline back to the door, but most of those times he’s there for someone else. The times that he’s there for me are the times that I completely miss him and come back to the dreaded note.
Luckily, I catch my VH1 reality shows when they first air at night, so they’re not taking away from my work day. Though I’m still bitter that Rock of Love Bus and Tool Academy were on hiatus last night. The week just got off to the wrong foot.
“I wouldn’t change my life now for anything, but it’s nothing like I thought it would be. It’s harder, but more rewarding. It’s lonelier, but I’m making more friends than ever before. It’s busier, but I’m making a better name for myself. It’s the best thing I could have done for myself.”
My sentiments, exactly!
Great post, Deb.
My dog died almost two years ago, and I actually miss her interruptions during the day, because they got me out and walking and helped me clear my head when I hadn’t even realized that I was stuck in a rut. The first few weeks after she was gone, I felt adrift, because walking her had provided so much structure for my day. So I’m giving a thumbs up for a dog helper for those who work at home!
1. No one thinks bunny slippers are cute.
Which is why I don’t wear them. But I do wear slippers, because my office is in the basement and it’s cold.
2. The dog wants to go out 20 times a day.
No kidding. He’s a real pain. But a damned fine doorbell, should the UPS guy come.
3. Kids will not keep themselves occupied if they know you are home.
This is why God created Wii and PlayStation. You’re trying to be a good parent. Cut it out. Go electronic.
4. That key lime pie in the fridge won’t last a day.
Or chocolate chip cookies. Or M&Ms.
5. VH-1 Reality Shows are like a train wreck.
That’s your problem, not mine. But the Internet Gods giveth and they sure taketh away.
6. The more work I take on the more dust collects on my workout videos.
I go to the gym and I go for bike rides and I run. Not much stops my workouts. It’s a great excuse to get out of the office.
7. Twitter is addicting.
I don’t doubt it. Just say no. I’m totally frightened of Twitter. The last thing in the world I need is more communications coming at me unless they’re paychecks or job offers. Otherwise, buzz off.
8. It’s a given UPS will ring the bell the second I exit the shower.
In my case, the minute I start a phone interview with someone. Then the dog starts howling at the door.
9. I need to sit on my hands more often.
I’ve gotten better about it, but I still volunteer for a lot of things.
10. Working at home is nothing like I thought it would be during my office-working days.
It’s better, but still nothing like I thought it would be like. I rather naively thought I could take a day off from time to time and just do nothing. Silly me.
I LOVE this post! Thanks Deb. I must say the last point is the truth. It’s lonely but I’m meeting new people every day…and I’m truly thankful not to have to take the stinky subway everyday, or endure abuse from superiors, who think they are just that – superior. Or listen to gossip from individuals who obviously need more drama in their lives, or a life period. whew! I love what I do:)
@ Kim J–yes, that’s been my experience with the neighbors.
I can’t tell you the number of people who have left their kids at my house because they have to work…or left their kids at my house because they want to go shopping alone or….and ditto with the bus driver and the kids too.
Yesterday, the neighbor came over because he couldn’t find some things in his house….did I see a robber sneak in and steal them? Seriously. I work….I don’t watch your house.
My other problem with working at home…people who ask me(like relatives) when I’m going to get “a real job”.
Oh well. Despite these things, I wouldn’t change it for the world.
I completely agree with you and I LOVE working from home. I was fortunate enough to get a job with an organization that went virtual 10 years ago. I basically have the same job I had before I set up shop at home, but I no longer have to deal with jerks. It’s paradise.
-GenerationXpert.com
PS. I’m not much of a sweets eater, but I do have a tendency to get into the leftover homemade soup.
I’ve taken a short, involuntary “break” from working at home, but I’ll be back in a few weeks, and boy, do I miss it. The way I see it, I’m just getting a reminder of why I liked working at home, in the first place, and this time, I’ll fight harder to keep things that way. As for the bike, I bought one a couple of years ago, and rode it about three times – at the time, I lived on a hill, and hated lugging the bike 15 stair steps down to the sidewalk, and back up again. That was more of a workout than the bike ride! I was so excited when I bought a house that had three steps to the sidewalk *and* a nearby bike trail (yay!), because I told myself that I’d be better motivated to take the bike out. That was last August. The bike hasn’t moved from the porch. Not once. My current excuse is that it’s too cold (I’m in NY).
No bunny slippers here, but I have some fuzzy blue booties that remind me of Cookie Monster’s feet. Love those. And pineapple upside-down cake. And every show on DIY/HGTV.