Some blog posts just beg to be written, and this one has been rolling around in my head all day. I was talking to a client on Skype recently and he was asking about how I balance my work and having a family and stuff. (He has recently taken the plunge and quit working for someone else to work full time for himself.) It made me start thinking about the idea of balance, since it is something that we are told we should be striving for in our lives.
Here’s the thing: I don’t think that it’s possible to have everything perfectly balanced all the time.
And that’s OK.
If you picture a scale that is perfectly balanced, it looks beautiful and all, but it’s static. Nothing moves. I think that there will always be something that comes along to throw a monkey wrench into the best-laid plans we have, whether they are for a particular day, month, year, or whatever.
Some projects you think will be a breeze take longer than you had planned, which throws your plan for your next project out of whack. You can go from wondering how you are going to fill your day to being blessed with lots to do, as I like to call it. You might have to deal with a sick child or keep working when you are so sick you look like something out of Night of the Living Dead. You can’t schedule that stuff, and it throws the idea of having balance right out the window.
If you wanted to work within a defined schedule where you start at one time and finish at another set time, you may have chosen a different line of work. I did that stuff for a long time, and it really didn’t work for me. Now, every day is different and it’s more like riding a wave instead of being perfectly balanced, but that’s OK. I do make time for the people and the things that are important to me, and that is more important that trying make everything “balance” out.
Well said, Jodee. I get in a fret when I don’t meet my stringent writing “goals”. I’ve recently discovered that its okay for me to take a nap during the day when I’ve worked past midnight on a project.
I used to be so proud of the sixty hours a week I put in with a major Consulting firm. That was pre-SAHM and pre-freelancer. Getting used to working, mommying, exercising (some play – yay!), and volunteering around the clock is quite a feat.
Love your analogy of “riding the wave”. It does feel like surfing – unsteady, frightening and exhilirating. Thanks for the share!
Hey Jodee- My goal (an goal is the key here) is that I have my schedule planned out so that I am ahead of my dead lines. That way I technically have PLANNED for the unexpected. Now if I can only get my family to cooperate.
Wow Jodee, that’s a beautiful way of looking at an issue that’s a real problem for me lol.
I think maybe perfectionism has a bit to do with wanting that perfect balance. Life isn’t perfect, and you are right, working through each day (while having a larger set of “guidelines” maybe) is the most peaceful path.
Great post.
I think living to ride the wave is all about balance!
So, I read this the other day – even posted a comment – and yet I was still drawn back to the title. I think maybe I need to step back and look my life over again and see just how balanced I really am
.
The freelance “wave riding” life has always worked pretty well for me… when I was single, when I was first married, when my husband was working and I was freelancing and having kids. Now, though, I’m trying to support a family of four on freelancing while also co-homeschooling a child with autism (my husband’s fledgling business is bringing in almost nothing).
For the first time in 18 years, I am actually applying for fulltime writing jobs.
To be honest, it scares me: the flexibility and resiliency of freelance has always been a great plus.
Lisa (www.lisarudy.com)
Thank you for all the kind comments!
@ Lisa: I was a big fan of Tarzan movies when I was a kid. I enjoy a good adventure story, for starters, but as I got older I realized it was the independence of that character – the whole “He swings fastest who swings alone” thing.
Keep in mind that very few decisions we make are completely irrevocable. If you want to try a full-time writing job, then go for it. You can always freelance on the side or go back to freelancing if it doesn’t work out the way you had thought. I’m all for doing what you need to do to keep your family eating and living indoors.
Jodee,
You’re absolutely right about balance being too static — that’s why stoicism so often is thought of as being boring. Though I think it’s important to be emotionally balanced if the specifics of your life aren’t going to be, you hit the nail on the head by keying in on the sense of inactivity by living a “balanced” (repetitious, structured, anticipated) life.