8 Types of Freelance Writing Pitches or Why You Didn’t Get the Job
May 26, 2009 by Deb
Filed under Freelance Writing, Freelance Writing Business, Writing Gigs
Over the weekend I announced a new opening at the Freelance Writing Jobs network of blogs. As you can imagine, we received a variety of applications. I haven’t gone through half of them yet, but to say some of them are disappointing is an understatement. The folks applying to be a blogger here threw out pitches ranging from arrogant to sad to remarkable. Though I’m still accepting applications, I can tell you that it’s going to be a hard decision choosing from the best applicants. However, the decision of who not to hire has so far been an easy one.
If you ever wondered why you didn’t get a certain gig, it might be in your delivery. Let me share some of the types of pitches received here over the weekend.
- The “Google me” pitch: More than one applicant found it entirely too difficult to provide details beyond contact info. Though I should be privileged to read the two line paragraph submitted, I was invited to Google their blogs and names for more information. Here’s the thing: I give points to the people who make my job as easy as possible. Though I might Google the finalists, there’s no way anyone who can’t be bothered to tell me why he’s qualified, will make it past the delete button.
- The “Too cool for proofreading” pitch: I admit it. I’m the queen of the typos. My fingers get ahead of my brain and it shows. I’ve been called out for it plenty too. While I’ve been known to not be very diligent about my bloggy proofreading, I do my best to turn in an impeccable cover letter, resume, or job application. I know I never get a second chance to make a good first impression. Typos aren’t the issue, by not proofreading, applicants are telling me that they’re either bad spellers or don’t care enough about the job to give the cover letter a once over. This doesn’t impress me.
- The “I’m your friend, hire me!” pitch: What makes my job more difficult is how many friends applied for the gig – and they’re all qualified!! This is the toughest decision as 99.9% of the friends turned in beautiful, clean, applications many that made me laugh. One or two others assumed because they’re friends I’m going to hire them. I’m not going to hire someone just because he or she is a friend, though I admit I’m not as likely to delete their applications. Suffice it to say the best person for the job will get the job, whether we have a history or not.
- The “I’m not even close to being qualified, but what the hell?” pitch: I received about a dozen pitches from folks who have never blogged or even wrote for the web before. As you know, I’m all about giving new writers their start, but I was looking for experience here. I don’t have time to hold hands or teach the intricacies of blogging. If you lack experience, don’t send a pitch telling me you have no experience. Instead, tell me why you’re right for the gig. Dazzle me with your writing. You may win me over.
- The “Directions? We don’t need to follow no stinking directions” pitch: When it comes to directions, I didn’t have a lot. This is the biggest gripe among the people who hire freelance writers though. We ask for certain things because they’re important to us, but also because we want to know you can follow directions. I only asked for a few things, writing samples, some ideas for what the applicant would do with the blog and the ability to make me laugh. Many people didn’t send any of the above. Delete.
- The “I’ve been in this business longer than you, kid” pitch: A couple of writers made it clear they’ve been in this business longer than I have and therefore they don’t need to send me much information. References and samples were available only upon request. Since they worked for (insert impressive magazine or newspaper title here)that should warrant an immediate hire. Honestly? If you have such impressive credentials, why would you want this opportunity which is clearly way beneath you?
- The “You’re just not funny” pitch: I asked for applicants to make me laugh. I don’t mean we have to get all slapstick, but the purpose of this particular blog is to provide an amusing distraction for freelance writers. Several of the applicants weren’t funny at all. Even worse, they didn’t even try. They sent generic cookie cutter cover letters with generic cookie cutter samples. If I’m hiring a funny writer, how can I do so from unfunny submissions? I can’t take a writer’s word that he has a sense of humor. He has to show me.
- The “You’re hired!” pitch: Several applicants made the shortlist right away. Why? Because they followed directions, sent in clean details and samples, made me laugh, and went on and beyond to show me they wanted this job. They didn’t go through the motions, they proved they will be an asset to FWJ and they really care about the community here.
I’ll probably be accepting applications for the rest of the week. Please keep these 8 points in mind when sending in your application.
Related posts:
- FWJ Welcomes Lorna Doone Brewer and Simon James!
- Applying for Freelance Writing Jobs: It’s All About Following Directions
- Back to Basics Part 3: 11 Things NOT to Do When Applying for a Freelance Writing Job
- Job Ad Feedback: Deb Takes Out an Ad
- On Cover Letters, Quotes, Attachments and Whether or Not the Gig is Worth the Effort
Bizarre timing. I just posted a similar thing the other day as I was hiring (an illustrator, rather than writer). Almost every point was exactly the same! PHEW! I’m not some psycho nasty employer after all.
I have to say that number 5 is the biggest killer for me: people who don’t follow instructions make it incredibly difficult to even give them an equal chance. Combine that with the first (providing a URL or vague info that I have to go and check, rather than an in-mail sample) and you’ve got a single-click response. Delete.
It’s strange being on the other side of the mirror, isn’t it?
(By the way, that’s “You’re hired”)
(And if you want to compare notes, mine was here (don’t like linking in-lkine, always think it makes me look pushy).)
Concentrating on the negative vs. the positive.
When I was doing sales, I got into a slump. I started asking myself, “What am I doing wrong?” So, I decided to make a list. When you do sales long enough, you know when you ‘have’ and ‘have lost’ a potential transaction. Before long, my slump started going from bad to worse, and for the first time in my sales career I started making the hourly wage rather than the commission.
I then made a turnabout decision: I wouldn’t log every error I made, rather I logged every positive thing that I did which resulted in a sale. The end result was that my two week sales drought ended, and I was back in the game.
What’s my point? My point is that I noticed in both the Scrawlbug and this post is that you’re both focused on what people did wrong, albeit with a few asides which mention in passing, and lacking in detail, of those few who made it on the short list.
A good way to go about giving positive advice would be to elaborate a bit (or a lot) more extensively on #8. In fact, a whole article on the issue of how to apply successfully for the blob jog would be infinitely more useful to your blogs’ followers. For example, you could possibly think of 8 things that they did and how they did it.
And, you might want to proofread this article. You’re wrong word is at #8 in bold. And for the record, someone who is good at applying for a job is not necessarily the best person for the job. Conversely, the best person for the job is not necessarily the one who is good at applying for the job. Another piece of advice, take it or leave it obviously, is never to hire a friend. A friend will always see him or herself as a peer rather than an employee, as you also will. So, making those Machiavellian decisions about what’s best for the company in terms of their employment will be hampered by your relationship with them.
Cheers.
Deb, awesome post! Having sat on both sides of the freelance hiring desk – applying as a freelancer for projects, and posting a big project to Elance last summer to hire more help for a large marketing project I had on my plate – I loved your points. I encountered the same thing and was especially taken aback by folks who, after being turned down, actually sent me email after email demanding that I hired them because they were just so great and so perfect for the job, even after I gave them a little feedback as to why they weren’t hired! (mostly because they lacked any experience in the type of work my client did). I hope every writer reads this post and reflects on it. Thank you, Deb, for all that you do for the freelance community!
Steven said:
“And, you might want to proofread this article. You’re wrong word is at #8 in bold.”
Unless Deb has already corrected a typo or I’m misunderstanding Steven, this is what I’m seeing on my screen:
“The “You’re hired!” pitch”
This seems like the correct use of “you’re” to me. “You’re” is the contraction for “you are,” as in “You are hired.”
She corrected it – one of those little typing oversights.
Steven: as for the negative aspect, that’s true. It’s hard to come up with a “what to do to get the job” because every employer is different (as you can see from Deb’s and my criteria). It is a lot easier to show how avoiding some simple errors will help a lot, though.
I think we both summed it up pretty well. What to do to get the job? Follow instructions!
We hire freelance writers fairly often these days, and I don’t think I will ever understand/accept/stop being judgemental about people who don’t proofread their samples, don’t send samples at all, or just simply don’t follow the directions. I mean, how can you make it any easier than by telling someone EXACTLY what to do?!
Thanks for the post here, as it may save me from making a horses’ rear out of myself by ranting over at my own blog. For a while, at least.
I agree with almost everything you’ve said, but there’s one issue that I find hard to manage as an applicant. That’s the question: “what are your rates?” Since few ads are very explicit about the product or the process, I really don’t know what an appropriate rate is likely to be.
“Two blogs per day at 200-300 words” is a great start, but are you saying that I just write and post? Or do you expect research and interviews? Will you be reviewing, editing, and expecting revisions? It could take me anywhere from 1 hour to 4+ hours to achieve the same goal, depending upon those “small details.”
I hesitate to suggest even an hourly rate, since the reader doesn’t know how quickly I work. My $50 per hour may translate to exactly the same actual fee as another person’s $20 per hour. But no one is going to know that based on a casual review of a cover note!
Lisa
I think these are all great tips. Whether they’re in a positive framework or negative, they’re still helpful.
When I answer ads online I go out of my way to make sure I follow directions, but perhaps I need to include more information then the potential employer asks for?
even though there may be 100s of people applying.
Usually my reply is short and to the point; if I have experience in a certain area, I mention that and I include a sample and/or links to my blog and a resume if needed. I try to sound excited about the possibility of getting the gig
So far, I get many more writing gigs then blogging gigs and I’m not sure why.
@Andrea
You’re wrong word is #8 in bold… I was trying to be ironic. Obviously it should read “Your wrong word is #8 in bold” as she had written “Your hired.” It’s my attempt at humour and wordplay – too much tongue in my cheek perhaps.
@ Lisa
I agree with everything you said. A lot of the ads, and I’m not talking about the $1-2 per post ads, lack in details to the extent that it’s a shot in the dark. It’s the equivalent of one of my students giving me a paper lacking in details – they knew what they meant, they had all the details in their head, it just never made it to the paper. I’m not referring to Spike or Deb’s ads, since I never saw them.
As a complete novice at freelance I found this article very helpful. It’s important to understand the project as well as the employer’s expectations going into any work environment. I am still too chicken to blog, or perhaps a little web-shy but I am taking baby steps daily starting with posting comments! I may not be hired (too chicken to apply), but you’ve given me the opportunity to write on the web. Thanks.
Great Article Deb. I was doing research for a project and happened on your phrase “…why you didn’t get the job”. It was truly “office space” great.
It reminded me of a few years ago when working as a Materials Mgr. for a manufacturer in central Oklahoma. Each manager was expected to be his own “personnel manager”. This wouldn’t have been so bad, but the rural area’s applicant pool for various jobs was ghastly. To be cliche, it was the proverbial cesspool. You’d pick the best candidate you could find, they would work faithfully for roughly 3 weeks, go on a drinking binge for three days – repeat once, and then get terminated.
So be glad that you at least have some candidates that can use a computer, read, use spell check…
I wish you all the luck and thank you for the much needed trip down memory lane.
Dave
I’m astounded that someone would say “Google me to see more of my work” in a job application. If I were hiring, I don’t know that I’d take the time and energy to do that, especially if I were having to sort through dozens and dozens of other (read: more complete) applications. Cut and paste the links into the application, you silly person!
Knowing I would find this article ‘interesting’, my wife left the page open during our marathon job search. The gap between financial failure and taking final steps of moving into a cardboard box seems moments away, yet I pause to offer my own tiny thumbnail of inspired thought. Not only can I relate in true frustration in devil’s advocate form, I also wish to slap the facial physic of a few of the posters. Or should I say POSERS!
Oh Deb, it must have been a very frustrating day for you to strike out with such blunt swords and shake the baby spines of all the ‘applicants’ wishing to gain profit for writing a BLOG. In any industry there is a very small percentage of qualified humans that stand in line for opportunity that exactly see the overall big picture. If they could, chances are they would not want to waste valuable time and energy to pacify the crappy position in the first place. To criticize their ignorance fails to justify your empathy to why they want to work for you in the first place.
As someone who writes emotional dribble and picks scabs while crossing the burning bridge, I can’t simply walk away from your post without hinting at just a wee bit of my own ‘writing career’ frustration at you who hold the scepter of promised gold.
1. Tit for Tat- High Energy and Excitement for the JOB itself. Where are the HAPPY human resource recruiters? If the blah feeling of filling the position comes across in the ad, just how desperate do you think the person searching has to be? Filling out lengthy applications may not be bothersome for some, yet after a few hundred attempts, belief in searching starts to fade.
2. Scams- for every ONE application, expect a THOUSAND home fix solution attempts to drain more money. I don’t need to increase my size, or find lost relatives, I don’t care if I won the African lottery nor do I want to revisit my high school classmates. You may not be directly responsible for these negativities, yet each of you hold ways to authenticate your honest need of someone REAL and not just collecting possibilities to future monies.
3. Personal integrities- Yes few have them, yet to many ‘writers’ it’s clear that the verbal throw up often found in blogs are never informative, highly exhausting, and almost every one leaves the sour or even bitter taste of self identification and social acceptance. I happen to get turned off by anyone who tells me they “Have a good story, go read it on my blog page.” Is this not the same as, “we are a good company, go read about it on our web page.” Obviously this text is meant to spark interest right? Not to justify every excuse of success or failure? Yes?
4. Respect in response- Bloggers, writers, actors, even the happy gourmet fry cook has inner goals and aspirations in growing. In the attempt to welcome creativity and squeeze the juice from stone, it behooves the company that searches for human help to reply back to the ones who dream loudest. Obviously if the subject applying lacks talent, wit, or use-ability, then doubtful He/She actually grieves for a lost chance. Yet if you can tell the applicant put forth effort, spent more than the lightning speed equivalent to directing you elsewhere, then please give gracious respect and respond back with a sympathetic NO Thanks. Even if the ‘thanks’ is a complete LIE, the gesture alone gives condolence to the dreamer who launches more than hope when pushing the SEND button.