Fifty (funny) Lines. Ten bucks. 4th Assignment – “Let’s Stay Friends”

Funny folks who could use a few bucks without leaving your desk – this may be the quick, relatively easy, potentially lucrative ‘writing gig’ for you!

What we need: 50 lines (each ‘line’ should be one sentence, or two or more short sentences), each of which is a variation on the theme described below. Take a look at our examples (but try to do better!).

What we pay: $10.00 for 50 lines. If we like what you’ve written, and you feel like writing more, we’ll happily accept multiple submissions (and pay you for each as they come in). We’ll also be putting up similar ‘assignments’ over the next couple weeks and months.
NOTE: YOU MUST HAVE A PAYPAL ACCOUNT TO GET PAID! If you don’t have one, get one – they’re free and easy to use. [Yes, we know ‘Writers Hate Paypal’ – but there’s just no easier way to pay people for work submitted by email. Part of the reason we’re only buying 50 lines at a time is so you can get paid for each small increment of work and be sure we’re legit.]

How it works: Send us thre sample lines (please pick three different “degrees of interest” listed below), so we know you can write a (good, clear, funny) sentence. We’ll email you back to request 47 more. When we get your 50 lines, we’ll PayPal you $10.00. If we particularly like your work, we may offer you additional assignments directly, if you’re interested.

If you want to write more than 50 lines, please submit one set of 50 first. That’ll give us a chance to make sure what you’re writing is the sort of stuff we need. And we’ll pay you for your initial work before you do any more, which is always a plus.

Thanks, and happy writing!

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Theme for this ‘assignment’: “Getting Back Together”

Assignment: A line defining the degree to which the writer might ever want to get back together with someone they’re breaking up with. Please try to write lines that are broad enough to apply to a variety of different types/durations/gender-combinations of relationships (check out our examples, below).

We’d like you to come up with 10 lines for each of these ‘degrees of interest’ in getting back together:

1. Never (ie. writer would never want to get back together)

2. Unlikely

3. Whatever

4. For hookups

5. Who says a breakup is forever?

The lines should apply to as wide a range of people as possible – and be funny.

Language Requirement: no ‘dirty’ language – nothing racier than “hell” or “damn” please.

A FEW EXAMPLES:

Never:

Make no mistake, we will never be together again. I’m having myself cremated just to make sure I don’t get buried near you.

There is absolutely no chance we’ll ever be getting back together. I’m actually having that tattooed on my chest, in case I develop amnesia.

We could get back together again someday…except then I’d have to kill myself…or you…and I look terrible dead, and even worse in prison orange.

Unlikely:

Maybe we’ll get back together someday…and maybe California will sink into the Pacific. We’ll see which happens first….

I don’t see much chance we’ll ever get back together…at least, not while there are still other single people. Anywhere.

Sure, we might end up together again one day…I mean, we could both simultaneously come down with amnesia and a serious case of beer goggles….

Whatever :

Who knows what will happen in the future? Maybe we just need that extra ‘something’ – like Scarlet Johansson in “Barcelona.”

One day, maybe we’ll run into each other and think we really should be together. Just not today.

You never know with breakups. Maybe we’ll turn out to be a match…oh, probably not in this lifetime, but you do believe in reincarnation, don’t you?

For Hookups:

I don’t think we should date anymore…but we do know that our juicy parts fit together pretty well, so why waste that, right?

You and me as a couple? Not so much. You and me naked? Not so bad….

I know we have to break up, but I’d still like to have some ‘special time’ together. Just no talking, okay?

Who says a breakup is forever?:

I’m not saying we couldn’t someday end up back together. I just need some fresh meat for awhile….

Maybe we’ll end up back together one day. Better than dating a Jonas brother….

Someday we might even end up back together. But for now, I think we should try dating people who aren’t…us.

Please send us 3 sample lines (please try three different ‘degrees of interest’) before you take a crack at the rest. Specify that this is the “Getting Back Together” assignment. We’ll get back to you to request 47 additional lines. So long as they aren’t total nonsense, we’ll promptly PayPal you $10.00 for the 50 lines.

Thanks, and happy writing!