Deb’s note: I’m taking a few days off to enjoy the holiday weekend. I hope you enjoy the posts from the guest bloggers taking my place.
Guest Post by Julie Fletcher
“I’m a REAL writer, unlike you who “thinks” they are but the reality is, you’re considered a joke amongst the rest of us who actually do this for a living.”
That is an excerpt from an extremely nasty message from an disgruntled freelancer who disagreed with my views on being positive while starting out in this career. Not very nice, is it?
There has been multiple discussions here and in other communities regarding how freelancers view each other. Some choose to consider other writers as their competition and struggle fiercely to ‘win’ a job. Others see everyone in freelance writing as potential friends and allies. Then you have the rare Venomous Freelancer.
Most everyone else refers to these as ‘nutcases’ or something similar with the intention to laugh the V.F.’s actions off. These writers thrive on hurting other freelancers in an effort to ruin their self-esteem, their writing, and in some instances- the career of their target.
I am sure you have seen examples around the Internet where anonymity rules. Writing forums have these V.F.’s in quantity, though most there are satisfied with ruining the reputation of another member or just driving the target to leave the forum. They routinely choose new writers to hurt and discourage. More often this is an effort to boost their own self worth, sad as that is.
How do you spot a Venomous Freelancer-before you’re bitten?
These writers like to brag about their accomplishments while at the same time tearing down those of others. They need the spotlight on them at all times. Did you just write your very first accepted article for a local newspaper? Well, guess what, the V.F. just had an article accepted for a semi-national publication’s feature well (and they posted that in their very short ‘congrats’ to you). Everything they do is bigger and better than everyone else.
Now, if you’ve somehow offended a V.F., watch out.
This is the point where you receive a nasty email, blog comment, or private message on a forum. Your best defense is to not reply at all. Human nature is to defend, though. If you do answer them, keep it calm, cool, and collected. Much like how you would deal with a disgruntled client. Yelling back will do nothing but fuel the V.F. and give them ammunition if they decide they are bored enough to ‘take you down’.
Sometimes the attack can take a very personal and poisonous edge.
Mean spirited is one thing, stalking is another. There are millions of people in the world that delight in hurting someone else’s feelings. While you may feel helpless, if the V.F. begins to try to ruin your career there are things you can do to stop them, even on the Internet. To help you decide what is happening to you, I’ve linked to the largest online safety and help group- WiredSafety. The link leads directly to the definition of Cyberstalking. You may be surprised to find out the different forms that stalking takes.
To report cyberstalking or other online crime use this link: Report a Crime.
You really want me to report this?
If you are really and truly being stalked, yes. If the V.F. is endangering your career and writing your clients, editors, or making comments on every blog you own, yes. If they are posting slanderous blog posts about you, yes. Threatening private messages can be handled by forum moderators. Emails should be reported to the ISP of the user or the email provider. In some cases, both.
I can handle it.
Choosing to handle this yourself can end well or cause problems. The V.F. is the typical person using the Internet as a way to be ‘important’. You can ignore the person until they find a new outlet or you can fight fire with fire. A flame war can tarnish a good reputation- so be very careful how you respond to a Venomous Freelancer. Most of the time, it unmasks the V.F. for who they really are- a person that has low self esteem, can’t make friends, and is lashing out at the world. Even though these people claim to have more and better work than you, the truth often is that they really have nothing better to do.
Julie Fletcher is a freelance writer and blogger based in Buffalo, New
York. She has been writing fiction for over ten years and broke into
non-fiction writing in 2006. Her work has appeared in Western New York
Family Magazine, Baton Rouge Family Magazine, and various online media
outlets. One of Julie’s passions is encouraging new writers to
succeed.
Very insightful and important.
Thanks, Julie, for including the link to WiredSafety. While is wasn’t a fellow writer who harassed me several years ago (it was an interview source), the results were similar. I felt violated as she tried to cause me damage – contacting my editor, posting nasties on a forum I frequented, etc.
You were spot-on, too, about some of the motivations that drive these people.
Thanks for a valuable post!
Thanks for posting this Julie, I’m afraid there are more of these cases than are ever reported and bullying needs to be identified to be stopped. If you are a victim of cyberstalking, please check the links Julie mentioned in her article. No one deserves this harassment. The internet is not a playground to vent professional frustration, these writers need to grow up.
Thanks for bringing the concept of the VF out in the open. I have seen the like and delt with them in the bricks and mortar world, but not here as a Freelancer yet so it is nice to hear a solid appraisal.
As someone who just got started with freelancing, I find information like this very helpful.
I got off to a good start by taking a job nobody else wanted to do, probably because they were “too good” for it.
My one thought about this is, who has time to be in a freelancer’s forum? Has anyone been paid for wanking around in a forum? Unless I’m on a paid job, I’m not typing anything except an email to my mother.
Nancy and Stacey- You’re right, WiredSafety if an important site for all freelancers to learn about. I can’t take credit for anything other than sharing, another freelancer shared it with me during my bout with a VF.
Wayne- I hope you never need to deal with one. Glad I could give you some information just in case!
Eric- Thanks! Also, a lot of writers hang out in forums to network, learn more about the craft, and sometimes just to goof off. Think of it as the water cooler or break room.
I know many venomous freelance writers. I hear from at least one each day. Thanks for bringing this issue to light, Julie. No one wants to talk about it, but VF’s are out there. It’s a shame these people are so insecure they have to resort to sabotaging others.
And thank you for letting me share with the FWJ Community, Deb. It’s an honor.
Wonderful post, Julie! Insightful and useful information. Thanks for the link to WiredSafety it is one I will keep though never hope to use.
I have left one site because of a group of VF’s. No matter what I wrote, there was always some nasty put down or derrogatory comment. Reasoning with them doesn’t help (in a battle of the wits, make sure you’re fighting someone isn’t unarmed as most VF’s are), because the ability or desire to think isn’t something they’re used to. They’ll read idiotic stuff into what you wrote and twist it into something else.
One did threaten to follow whatever I wrote and try to ruin my career as a freelance writer. I reminded the person I would not only hand the threat over to the moderator, but print it out and get ready for court, and the authorities. I also pointed out that CyberStalkers are charged with felonies, not misdemeanors. The person then sent a reply that they were “just trying to scare me.” I don’t respond to threats nicely.
I know about the WiredSafety now; I didn’t then. I’ll gladly turn in a stalker in a heartbeat.
Thanks, Julie, for shedding light on an all too often ignored aspect of freelancing. It’s important for writers to bear in mind that, even though sometimes it looks like a V.F. has gained the upper hand, it’s possible to deal with that V.F. in a dignified and legal way…and, eventually, civilized behavior wins out. I can tell you wrote this piece from the heart…and I’m sure your advice will help many writers.
And I’ll say it again:
Thanks.
I think that this woman sounds like she isn’t a real anything except for a real beeyotch. People who get nasty and take out their frustrations on others the way she did on you aren’t worth bothering with.
I don’t know if I’m a “real” writer or not in the eyes of other writers and to be honest, I don’t care. I have a very small fan base for my fiction writing and their feelings matter more than those of other writers. When it comes to the editorial writing, the only opinion I care about is that of the person who’s paying for it.
I’m just doing what I have to do to survive and trying to do what I love sometimes too.
Sorry you got such a nasty missive. I know that they can really ruin one’s day.
This really hit home for me. I posted in a forum I loved. I made a mistake in posting some advice I was given, in pure ignorance. I had been off the site for a while and did not realize there was a problem…until I was getting frightening blog comments. The link was coming from the forum. I went there to check out what was happening and seen the angry posts. I was followed to my blog and continued to suffer comments with a violent thread. The forum couldn’t help because I had deleted most of the comments by that time and the one I had left was not a member, just a lurker on the forum. I ended up deleting the blog because I didn’t know what else to do. I didn’t know until just now that I could have reported it. Thank you so much for the information.
One of the best pieces of advice that I’ve ever heard – or read, in this case – was to make the people around you even more money than you want to make for yourself. I believe that empowering your clients to reach new heights as well as your peers will do nothing but help you to reach the top as well. Mean spirited people tend to stay in their lonely basements, ranting about everyone who is keeping them down, but the fact is that the biggest obstacle to their success is often themselves.
When a client wants me to do more work than I can handle, you can bet that this will be one of the first places I would go to find some reliable writers who might want to team up for the project. It only makes sense, after all, to expand my experience and abilities by empowering those around me if the opportunity arises!
Thanks for the post (as always) Deb. Your words are always appreciated.
Thanks Kevin, glad you found the post interesting! I love your description of these people, ha! In a basement…awesome line. You’re so right, that’s pretty much all they do, rant and rave over hindering themselves. Very insightful.
Oops, sorry Julie! I guess I forgot that Deb is on vacation. Great post!
Hi Julie,
Thanks for your great information. I have been writing all my life, and I know I’m decent at it, but have always appreciated all the other highly talented writers out there, as well – as I figure we are BORN with our gifts, we didn’t cause them to happen, and we should be grateful for what we have.
Your post just reminded me that with all this technology that’s been bursting upon the scene, the many different venues to communicate through the Internet are just more examples of the ever increasing amount of loopholes for the “back biters” of all varieties to slither in, knife someone, and slither out again – sight unseen, of course.
How I’ve handled “witch hunts” of all types in the past, is to make them the “star” (unnamed of course) of a post on my humor blog. Where I then go to work – politely, but pointedly – exposing their characters for what they are (and sometimes I photochop a picture as well)
A little bit mean – sure. A little bit revengeful? Definitely! But since I name NO names, and disguise the situation a little, then no one gets slammed, or ripped off, for that matter – like they stooped to, when they did it to me.
Does it make me feel better? yes, yes, and YES!
PS – I haven’t ever made another freelancer the “star” of a post – those I’ve dealt with are Ebay rip off artists, spammers, and undeniably rude salespersons.