What is Success…and How Much Does it Cost?
October 14, 2009 by Deb Ng
Filed under Thoughts and Stuff
I got my name in lights with notcelebrity.co.uk
I’m inspired to write this post after reading Chris Brogan’s post about being an overnight success.
Success is something we all strive for, isn’t it? As writers we want that best selling novel or to find our bylines bedazzling a major magazine or website. Most of us don’t set out to “just get by” we set out to succeed.
What is success, and how much does it cost?
I’m yawning as I write this. I woke at 5:00 so I could get a little work in before getting my son off to school and heading to the airport. I’ve been hanging out in airports a lot lately and sleeping on planes. I’ve been catching a few jet-lagged hours of hotel sleep each night before attending a conference or meeting with a client. Is this success?
I’m not a millionaire. I’m not a best selling author. I’m not even an “A List” blogger, but I consider myself a success beyond my wildest dreams.
- I work out of my home office sharing my passion with others.
- A major brand inquired about buying this blog network.
- I’m able to keep the bills paid and put extra in a bank – during a time when my husband is laid off from his job.
- At this moment, I don’t have to return to a full time position.
- I’m working with clients I enjoy – not because I have to, because I want to.
- I receive notes every day from people who tell me I’ve helped them.
- Next week I’m talking with my son’s second grade class about writing.
- I attend conferences and meet the most wonderful people in the world.
- I talk to the people who share my passion.
There’s a downside to success too:
- Hate mail and catty comments.
- Jealousy
- A few hours of jet-lagged sleep in hotels
- Missing out on hugs, kisses and story times.
- The responsibility of having to continuously give good advice on a daily basis.
- Missing out on television, movies and girls night out.
What’s your definition of success? Is it/will it be worth it?
First of all, I LOVE the name in lights!
Success is paying the bills and having money left over. It’s being able to share your passion and work with great clients. It’s also being able to “fire” any problem children that creep in. It’s the feeling that what you’re doing is more play than work (even when it’s hard).
Remember the board game Careers? You had to define success first, then play the game to achieve your goals (a mix of happiness, fame and cash, if I remember). But everyone could define their mix for their goals.
Everyone needs to define success for themselves, and that definition changes. At one time, I wanted to be a sportscaster, then, when it was apparent (post college) that I didn’t have the talent, I wanted to be a sportswriter. I did that for seven years, had no debt, had what turned out to be 25 percent down on my house (bought a few years later), but though I just started dating my wife, I worked nights, weekends, and missed out on a lot of things I would have liked to have done.
Eventually moved on to a great job at a magazine, but job left me and my wife who was five months pregnant with our second child. Went on my own. Have had various levels of monetary and personal success, but a large medical bill for my daughter’s back surgery has me now seeing success as being out of debt.
We’ve taken nice vacations, but I will be working till I push daisies. Others would scrimp, save, cut out private school (perhaps home schooling), and have an early retirement. I have two friends I graduated with that have retired already. One had no children. The other spent a year working in LA while kids were growing up in Chicago (he was home on the weekends). I would not have sacrificed my time with my kids for their “success.” But that’s not to say they would have traded their experiences for mine, either.
I certainly think success evolves for each of us as we grow in our careers or crafts. My goal this year was to become a self-sufficient freelancer and get a magazine query accepted, and I’ve done both. I also love being my own boss and setting my own schedule. My next goal might be to write for different pubs and write a book.
For me, success is about freedom. Whenever I’m presented with those tough choices between money or time, I tend to choose time. However, I have the luxury of needing to earn much less money because we live in Mexico and our cost of living is very low.
I used to think that I’d be successful if I got a job out of university. I did. But I didn’t feel successful – more like a failure, actually – because I was miserable in that job. So I decided that, to be successful, I had to follow my dream of working with dogs and did a year’s course in dog behaviour. But then I decided that money was necessary, not for success, but just for life (and in New Zealand, dog jobs are few and far between). So I started my freelance writing business. So far, I’m calling myself successful because I’ve had a realistic amount of success for the point I’m at. My bar will move up over time – I just think that to be truly successful, you have to keep re-evaluating your personal definition of success and set yourself realistic goals. Too many people expect too much, too soon, and get disullusioned. If I don’t get disillusioned this time, I’ll be a success.
Success is working from home, being with my wife and sharing good information. Its about helping others start to realize their dreams. I used to think that success was about money. After starting my freelance career in July full-time I find more success encouraging others. Money just can’t buy that.
Thanks so much for this post. I’ve struggled with definitions of success and agree with Lauren and others that the meaning of success evolves as we go down our path. I’m really happy with my choice to go out on my own as a writer/promoter. I’m not making gobs of money, but I’m slowly finding clients I want to work with and I’m enjoying the types of projects more and more. If I could change anything, it would be to find an ‘easier’ way to write fiction.
I’m working on my first young adult novel which has turned out to be much more challenging then I anticipated. Thanks again for the reminder about the choices we’ve made and how they play out.
I think success is measured in many different ways. If you have a job today in this market that is an enjoyable one and are making a decent salary that could be termed success. But I tend to look at success in a different way. If you have children and have been able to raise them to be productive, intelligent, positive people I think that is true success. Everyone today relates money with success but if you are neglecting what is truly important in your life I think it defeats success.
If you are able to accomplish both in this day and age then I think you have been very successful in your life. I guess success is like beauty. It’s in the eyes of the beholder.
Best,
Bob
If you can pay the bills, love what you do, and have time for family, you have found success. Anything more is just icing on the cake.
This quote appeared in my In Box today and I thought it was appropriate for the discussion:
“My mother drew a distinction between achievement and success. She said that achievement is the knowledge that you have studied and worked hard and done the best that is in you. Success is being praised by others. That is nice but not as important or satisfying. Always aim for achievement – success will follow.”
Helen Hayes
1900-1993, Award Winning Actress
My definition of success? If we’re talking strictly about career success here, I’d say I consider myself truly successful for having got rid of an awful 9-5 job to become a full-time freelance writer and, better yet, never having had to go back to the corporate world.
For many people, success = fame. I’m not famous though. Still I find myself totally successful.