10 Things That are Inevitable this Thanksgiving

November 24, 2009 by Deb Ng  
Filed under Off Topic, Thoughts and Stuff


Thanksgiving 2

Thanksgiving is only two days away and the inevitable Thanksgiving happenings are, well, happening. These are the things you can expect every year, whether you like them or not. They’re traditions even though many of them aren’t on the family schedule.

Let’s go off topic for a while to explore the the things we can expect this year, and every year.

10 Things That are Inevitable This Thanksgiving

1. Airport Updates: Each year reporters converge on their local airports to report about how crowded the airports are. Of course they’re crowded. It’s Thanksgiving and everyone is flying home. If it’s the same thing every year, and if you report on it every year, it’s not news. I ask you, does this make a compelling interview:

News person: Hello. What are you doing here today?

Person in airport: I’m flying home.

News person: Why are you flying home this weekend when it’s so crowded?

Person in airport: Umm…because it’s Thanksgiving?

News person: Fascinating.

It’s almost as brilliant at the reports from Home Depot during snow storms to say people are buying snow shovels and rock salt.

2. “Why I’m Thankful” Posts: If you’re an American blogger, you probably already wrote your “thankful” post. Mine is ready to go too. I have lots of reasons to be thankful and I’m sure you do too.

3. Bad TV: There’s a reason I stay away from Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel at this time of the year. Predictable holiday movies. If they’re not variations of a Christmas Carol they’re filled with depressed people looking for their will to live.

4. Traffic on the BQE: So I’ll be traveling to Queens this year as I do every year to partake in holiday cheer with the inlaws. I don’t look forward to the holiday traffic on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway. In case you’re not familiar with the BQE, there is always construction happening. Always. Not sure why they can never get it fixed for once and for all but I’ve been commuting back and forth to New York City for the past 30 years and nothing has changed.

5. Leftovers: Admit it. You want to host Thanksgiving so you can keep most of the leftovers. Is there anything better than after your guests leave and you have that cold turkey and mayo sandwich? Thanksgiving leftovers rock.

6. Not Enough Leftovers: If you’re like me and don’t usually host Thanksgiving, your mother in law may send you home with some leftovers, but it’s never enough. It’s even worse if your husband gets to it before you do. One turkey sandwich and it’s gone. Sometimes I host a second small Thanksgiving dinner on the weekend so I can have more leftovers enjoy hosting duties too.

7. Football: I despise football, yet every year on Thanksgiving I have to sit through a day of football because that’s what everyone else is doing.

Let me weight this out: Football…Hallmark Channel. Football….Lifetime. I’m bringing a book.

8. The Diet that Wasn’t: Every year we pile food on our plates and say, “I’ll work out harder tomorrow.” or “I’ll diet tomorrow to make up for this,” and never do.

9. Black Friday: I don’t get it. I do everything I can to avoid crowded malls during the holidays and some people willingly wake at 3:00 a.m. to get to the stores to fight over Cabbage Patch Dolls and video games. I don’t find this to be a fun or productive use of my time and will gladly pay more money to stay away from all that.

10. Good Intentions: I have good intentions every Thanksgiving weekend. I say I’m going to work ahead of time and I don’t. I say I’m going to take the weekend off, and I don’t.

What are your Thanksgiving inevitables?

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Comments

8 Responses to “10 Things That are Inevitable this Thanksgiving”
  1. Heiddi says:

    Hiya Deb. This was hilarious! Thanks so much for sharing this post, I needed a good laugh this morning. The “duh” factor has that effect on me especially when I’m sick and tired. I never thought about any of those things this way and I’ll be thinking of you every time I notice the traffic report or a holiday commercial. If you’re not submitting regular humor posts/essays, please start! You’re hilarious. Have a great day! PS – have to schedule my “thank you” post on my sites too. Thanks for reminding me. :)

  2. Jodee says:

    What would this time of year be without the sappy holiday commercials and the magazines with umpteen holiday cookie recipes – calorie-free, of course! ;)

  3. Jodi Kaplan says:

    Jodee: if the cookies break, the calories leak out! ;-)

    Deb: BQE traffic, not fun. I “solved” the traveling problem this year by offering to host Thanksgiving myself.

    While I don’t have to travel, I do get to “enjoy” the Second Avenue subway construction. It’s a thing both wonderful and awful to behold. After so many years of delays, you can’t quite believe they’re really building it. You also can’t believe the noise and the mess and the disruption.

    TCM is showing some first-rate movies on Turkey Day. Skip the football and watch Fred Astaire, Ginger Rogers, Grace Kelly, and Cary Grant instead.

  4. Jeanne says:

    I love your comment about the Hallmark and Lifetime Channels. Last night I was channel surfing and thought, “Holiday movies…ack, they’re all versions of a Christmas carol.” And then I saw your post today. Too funny!

    Holiday inevitables? The “relative who shall remain nameless” who is a Martha Stewart wanna be, bragging about hosting umpteen relatives and not breaking a sweat, while I’m lucky to get the meal on the table in one piece!

  5. Jeanne says:

    I love your comment about the Hallmark and Lifetime Channels. Last night I was channel surfing and thought, “Holiday movies…ack, they’re all versions of a Christmas carol.” And then I saw your post today. Too funny!

    Holiday inevitables? The “relative who shall remain nameless” who is a Martha Stewart wanna be, bragging about hosting umpteen relatives and not breaking a sweat, making cranberry sauce from scratch and pumpkin pie from her Halloween pumpkin, while I’m glad to have the cranberry sauce from a can with the wonderful grooves around it. It ain’t Thanksgiving without those telltale grooves.

  6. Genesis says:

    What a great post! I’m Canadian, so my Thanksgiving is long over, plus we live in Guatemala, so I’m the only one celebrating, but this post was perfect. And truthfully, the reason I’ve invited people for Christmas dinner is so I can do a turkey instead of the little chicken I normally make . . . for the leftovers!! :D

  7. Shevonne says:

    I’m writing my thankful post tomorrow! =D

  8. Dawn says:

    I once, honest to God, had to write a “people are buying snow shovels” story for a local weekly paper. :)

    Thanks for the laughs!

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