I know that no job is perfect and that freelancers have been known to express their displeasure with this way of earning a living. We may have so much work that we’re tearing our hair out or go through a dry spell where we’re considering other options. Clients can be wonderful but there are some who micromanage projects or ask for multiple rounds of revisions (without expect to pay more). Waiting to get paid when you have your own bills to cover is another frustrating part of being a freelance writer.
If you are having one of those times when you are thinking the grass may be greener elsewhere, consider these alternative ways of generating income:
- Telemarketer (nobody wants to hear from you)
- Income Tax Auditor (see above)
- Prison Guard
- Sorter at Recycling Company (bo-r-ing)
- Garbage Collector
- Crime Scene Cleaner
- Politician
- Morgue Attendant
- Bikini Waxer
- Personal Assistant to a Celebrity (not as glamorous as you may think)
Even when you’re having one of those days when everything is getting to you and you are wondering if anyone would actually pay you to be a hermit so that you can get some peace and quiet, consider that there are worse ways to earn a living. What other jobs should have made this list?
A dead-wagon driver. You know, the ones who go out to farms and pick up the dead horses, cows, pigs, and otherwise and load them on top of a huge pile of corpses in the back of a dump-truck and then drive down the roads letting the reek of carrion fill the air on a hot summer day.
Or how about the guy who cleans portajohns.
They don’t call plumbers terd-herders for nothing!
A large animal vet. Believe me, I grew up on a dairy farm and my dad made me work with the vet for a summer when I was like 13 or 14. I saw maggots growing in the infected eye socket of a cow (that one actually made the vet puke), I’ve smelled the stench of infected afterbirth when the vet has to shove his arm in the cow and manually clean it out, the smell of a rotten hoof (on a horse or a cow), and so on and so forth.
Completing my top 5 worst jobs ever would have to be the guy who cleans the chairs/aisles at those…ahem…adult movie theaters.
Funny thing that, I used to clean the adult theaters, no joke. Wasn’t so bad actually. I just put on rubber gloves and used a lot of bleach.
My top five worst jobs ever list includes being a maid–which I’ve also done–and which is absolutely disgusting. Not that driving around with a truckload of dead pigs isn’t, but, people just don’t clean up after themselves if they know there’s a maid coming. Used to clean for a fellow, his kitchen floor was so dirty, I had to scrape it with a paint scraper to remove the thick layer of dried food residue before I could mop. And I cleaned this guy’s house once a week. I’m not even going to tell you about his bathroom.
I used to work for the veterinarian at the state level who had to go to rendering plants and make sure they were operating according to law. A rendering plant is where they boil down the other usable parts of animals… She said she stank for days.
Anyway, though, I think this is one of the “cushiest” jobs I’ve ever had, personally. I’m sure we can find a lot more than 10. This is a great job, my best yet, in my short life, and I love it!