Hey, You Swaggering Rascal Over There!

After finding that fun haiku shirt the other day, I found myself spending an ill-advised amount of time on the Internet looking at “writerly” shirts and other products.  One of the coolest things I came across really doesn’t fit my personal style at all.  As a shirt, I’m not really all that interested in the style, BUT I so dig the fact that it includes a collection of Shakespearean insults and wanted to share some of the best ones here.

When I insult someone, I generally just end up sounding petty and awkward.  I mean, there are very few occasions where “Nuh-uh” or “YOU are” really elevate one’s argument.  From now on, I think I’m going to refer to someone who annoys me as a “filthy bung” or a “damned furious wight.”

  • Ill-faced
  • Worse bodied
  • Vile worm
  • Dissentious rogue
  • Maidenly man at arms
  • You sheath
  • Starveling
  • Vile standing-tuck
  • Scurvy companion
  • Huge hill of flesh
  • O braggart vile
  • Peasant swain
  • Dissembling harlot
  • You naughty mocking uncle*
  • You mouldy rogue
  • Filthy bung
  • Bull’s pizzle
  • Sanguine coward
  • Thoug unnecessary letter
  • Deboshed fish
  • Sodden-witted lord
  • Lump of foul deformity

*What the?

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