Cover Letter Clinic

Tue, Oct 16, 2007

Here’s the first victim for our cover letter clinic. Everyone is welcome to critique but please be gentle and kind with your criticism.

I am the perfect writer for the job you posted on Craigslist, because I already have experience writing the type of real estate articles you are seeking. One of my regular clients is creating a variety of websites for the Arizona real estate market, and my duties are to research area information and present it in an interesting format that includes specific keywords to help attract the search engines to the website.

My goal as a writer is to create content that is engaging to the reader, while at the same time friendly for the search engines when needed. I am based in the United States and am a native English speaker. I also have worked in the past as an English teacher, which means that my grammar skills are excellent. All of the work I submit is proofread and free from errors. When you add me to your team, you will find that I am able to stay on task, complete my work on time and turn things in ahead of schedule most of the time. Deadlines are very important to me, so you will not receive work late.

I am posting my resume and a sample below. The sample is not real estate related, as those articles cannot be shared due to contract terms. However, the sample will give you an idea of my writing style. I can start working immediately, so feel free to send over work right away! Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,

I’m not sure if I would start a cover letter stating you’re the perfect candidate. If this is your first line, you have a lot to live up to with the rest of your letter. So if your first words are how you’re perfect, you’d better darn well prove it. I also don’t believe it necessary to say how you’re a native English speaker, if your letter and samples are well written, your skills are apparent.

Do mention your real estate experience and your teaching experience. Your line about how you research and format area information doesn’t tell me a thing about what you do. Do you write articles about real estate or do you just research information and pass it on? Are you a writer? If so, that’s not mentioned any where on the cover letter. I would omit the part about how your sample isn’t relevant. This will be obvious to the client. You can say, “I’m attaching a sample to give you an idea of my writing style” and leave it at that. You can also say “I’m available for immediate work” instead of saying the client can send over work immediately - that sounds a little desperate to me.
Here’s my advice to you:

Briefly detail your work history
Detail your writing experience
Tighten up sentences
Remove information that’s implied

Let’s hear what the others have to say and a little later, we’ll update this post and turn the above into the perfect cover letter.

Oh and P.S. Yes, an email is fine for a cover letter - unless otherwise specified.

This post was written by:

Deb - who has written 21 posts on Freelance Writing Jobs.

Contact the author

35 Comments For This Post

Melissa Garrett Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:37 pm

My first impression is that the writing is superfluous. Clean it up, and save the rambles for a blog entry.

The candidate mentions that he or she worked as an English teacher, yet there was a split infinitive in that same sentence (things like that stand out ~ use the spell/grammar check, which catches mechanical errors, as well).

NancyP Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:46 pm

I’d change some of the sentences to active voice. You could, for example, say, “I taught English for (x) years,” rather than, “I also have worked in the past as an English teacher.” If your experience doesn’t add up to a year, say, “I taught high school and middle school English,” or something else that indicates your level of experience.

I’d also change the sentence that begins, “One of my clients is…and my duties are to…” and begin, instead, with what you do, in active voice, placing a phrase about the client at the end. Your prospective client cares about what you can do rather than about your other clients’ interests.

Mariella Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:49 pm

I also don’t think you have to mention you’re a native English speaker. I’ve talked to an editor recently and she told me she’s not impressed by anyone who says that — she believes your work should speak for itself and you could be located in the mountains of Tibet for all she cares.

I also don’t see a history of your work as a writer anywhere, as Deb says, only the fact that you “research” for a client.

And thanks for the tip about not mentioning the sample is not relevant, Deb. I also tend to say if that’s the case with my cover letter.

Richard Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:58 pm

Be professional, polite and to the point. Saying “I worked as an English teacher, so my grammar skills are excellent” is superfluous. You would expect that from an English teacher, except for bad ones. And if you’re a bad one, you wouldn’t list it. I taught ESL but I don’t list this on my resume because I had a tough time on the job (it was 100% immersement and I often had students who spoke zero English). Teaching ESL is hard, and I learned more from what NOT to do than anything else.

Jeanne Dininni Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:08 pm

Deb,

Here are my ideas for improving this cover letter:

“The job you recently posted on Craigslist is perfect for me, since I have experience writing the type of articles you are seeking. One of my regular clients is creating a variety of websites for the Arizona real estate market, and my duties are to research area information and present it in an interesting and well-written format which includes specific keywords to help attract search engines to the website.

“As a writer, my goal is to create content that is engaging, yet search-engine friendly, when needed. I have also worked as an English teacher, and therefore my grammar skills are excellent. All work that I submit has been proofread and is error-free. Should you decide to add me to your team, you will find that I stay on task and complete work either on time or ahead of schedule. Deadlines are very important to me, so you may be sure that you will never receive work late.

“I have posted both my resume and a writing sample below. The sample will give you an idea of my writing style. I am available to begin work immediately, so please feel free to contact me with the details of your project. I look forward to working with you!”

Thanks!
Jeanne

Amy Ulibarri Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:10 pm

I would find a better opening line. Being “perfect” is a difficult accomplishment. Maybe just start out that you are a real estate writer, here are my qualifications…of course it would be phrased better!

Also, the “stay on task” line bugged me.

Jeanne Dininni Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:30 pm

Deb,

I’d like to make a change to my editing of the letter. Now that I’ve thought about it, I would remove the word “therefore” from the sentence about being an English teacher, as follows:

“I have also worked as an English teacher, and my grammar skills are excellent.”

I also don’t really like “articles you are seeking” in the first paragraph, but “articles you seek” doesn’t sound quite right either. Perhaps “articles you are looking for” would be best. (Though probably more grammatically correct, “articles for which you are looking” is probably much too formal.)

Jeanne

Jodee Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:30 pm

This may be just a “Jodee” thing, but here goes…

If I was reading this letter as a prospective employer and the person mentions “one of my regular clients…” in the first paragraph, I may be wondering how this person would be able to fit my work in. I would want to know whether this person has relevant experience but I don’t know if this detail is necessary.

Phil Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 9:06 pm

To Jodee’s comment, if the person is sucessful, he’ll be busy. If I’m doing the hiring, I’d be more concerned when not busy.

From the other side, I find it’s always easier to get work when I’m not sure how to squeeze it in than when I’m busy.

The hiring authority knows that good candidates will have a lot of work and will be looking to upgrade their own client list.

Sue Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 9:16 pm

This letter didn’t sell me on the writer. First, I don’t want to be told someone is perfect — show me that in the letter! Second, I expect writers to respect deadlines and turn in quality work, so don’t tell me that (a well-written letter shows me something about your proofreading habits anyway). Third, I’m a little turned off by the “send me work right away” line at the end. I like confidence in a writer, but not cockiness. Plus, it makes you look a little desperate that you’ll take any bone you’re thrown, rather than wanting to discuss the details.

This letter talks at me without really telling me anything. I want to see the relevant experience. You say you write real estate articles. For whom? For how long? What qualifies you to write about real estate?

I agree with Jodee. I wouldn’t talk about the details of work you are doing for one client. It does make you sound too busy to take on new work. I would broaden out that section by simply saying the type of work you regularly do for clients include Internet research and coming up with articles strong on keywords.

Misses E. Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 9:46 pm

My edit suggestion is below. I’m thinking I may err on the side of being too short and concise, but I’ve always figured it’s better to have them finish the letter than get bored and quit reading before they get to your resume and samples.

I am submitting my resume for your review regarding the position you are currently advertising on Craigslist. I have (name quantity here) experience writing articles for the real estate field. I research area information and present it in an interesting format including specific keywords to help attract search engines to the website for a regular client for the Arizona real estate market.

I strive to create clean, effective content targeted to increase traffic with prompt turnaround.

My resume and a sample are posted below. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,

Phil Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:08 pm

By the way,

Kudos to the person who offered this to be critiqued.

Nicole Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:16 pm

Hi everyone,

This is my letter, and thank you all for the excellent and constructive criticism. I look forward to reading more. I know this is one of my weakest areas. I am going to print off the suggested rewrites and study them. Thankfully, I did get this job and it is one of my highest paying jobs, but I can definitely see your points and the areas where I can improve. Thank you so much!

One question - I am only about a year into freelancing, so my experience is not that long in regards to time. However, in that year I have been able to replace my full time teaching income, so I must be doing something right. Any suggestions as to how to still come across as experienced and qualified without mentioning length of time? (Although my resume, which was sent with this letter does in fact mention the length of time I have worked for my various clients.)

Please continue to be constructive now that I have told you who I am!

Thanks so much everyone!

Amy Derby Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:43 pm

Here’s how I’d re-write it:

As an experienced real estate writer, I would love to hear more about the article writing job advertised on Craigslist. I currently write and research similar articles for the Arizona real estate market.

Client satisfaction is my priority. I have never missed a deadline. I deliver clear content which is engaging to the reader and appealing to search engines. I am a former English teacher and am based in the United States.

I am available immediately to discuss the details of your project. I have attached a writing sample to give you an idea of my writing style. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.

Nicole Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:47 pm

Amy,

I like your suggestion, because it can be easily changed to fit other needs (such as general SEO, web content writing, or other topic specifics).

Thanks!

Amy Derby Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:52 pm

P.S., Nicole, I just saw your post above mine. Congrats on getting the gig.

When I started applying for jobs, I simply left out the experience level and tried to make up for it by noting other positive aspects I could bring to the gig. My experience has been that clients care more what you can do for them than they care about your experience. If you can offer them something an experienced writer can’t, you’ll have a better shot at getting the job.

Carly Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 11:02 pm

As much as you would think the following statement is self-explanatory, it’s not: “I worked as an English teacher, so my grammar skills are excellent.” Oh, trust me, I’ve had PLENTY of English teachers whose grammar skills are far from excellent. I’d rephrase to something like, “My grammar skills are exemplary due to the ___ years I have spent teaching English.”

Also, I shouldn’t get started on this, but it REALLY bothers me when people specifically ask in ads for native English speakers to do their writing jobs for them. I understand why they do it, but I think it’s ridiculous. I am a native English speaker, I have an undergraduate degree in English, I have taught English, I am a freelance writer, I work as an editor, and my English skills are STILL not as good as my boyfriend’s. English is his third language.

I generally really like the second half of the second paragraph of the cover letter, “All of the work…” onward. I think it’s good.

For the most part, I agree with Deb’s comments except for one thing. She suggests it’s not necessary to mention why the sample provided isn’t directly relevant to the job, but I appreciated that part of the cover letter. If I was a client, you’d better believe I’d be wondering why I wasn’t receiving a real estate sample of writing if the freelancer billed herself as a real estate writer. People can make so much stuff up, and a simple statement of clarification like Nicole gave is helpful for credibility purposes.

Nicole, if you are making a sufficient income by freelancing, I’d imagine you have a bunch of clients and jobs you’ve done throughout the past year that you can list in your cover letter. I’d strongly suggest doing that.

I also like Misses E’s rewrite, but I feel the last sentence of the first paragraph is a bit of a run-on.

Mary Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 11:06 pm

I agree with all the above. Some excellent for all of us as we all fall victim to our own writing bad habits. As for your lack of years in experience writing. Don’t mention it.
In your resume state recent projects that deal with the job you are appling for at the time. I tailor mine almost every time to what the job requirements are. If they ask you outright how long have you been writing then you can go over your experience at this time.
I’m looking forward to the re-write.

Rob Mead Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:21 am

These are all great suggestions on how to re-write a cover letter that actually worked. I wonder how important it is to attach your writing resume to a cover letter such as this if it drags the reader down.

Maybe we should all just write in the relevant writing experiences we’ve had with like-minded publications in the cover letter itself instead of attaching a resume in a word doc.

If anybody has had success with this method, please post the outcome and tell us how many years of experience you included with the relevant work history.

Nicole Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:30 am

Well, I always paste my resume below the cover letter. I feel like if the client wants to see it, it’s there, but if my cover letter doesn’t impress he/she doesn’t have to read it. I don’t usually attach it because that can get an email blocked sometimes. However, I am not as experienced as several of these writers!

Mariella Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:45 am

Thank you very much for saying this, it couldn’t have come at a better time. I will definitely quote you on my blog (link on my name) in the near future as I feel a post on a relevant topic is in order soon.

Kristin Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:51 am

Congratulations on getting the gig — and I echo Phil above that it is great that you submitted your letter and are open to everyone’s comments…

I would suggest streamlining the 2nd paragraph by using bullet points so the reader can quickly glean your areas of expertise.

- Delivering engaging content
- SEO optimization
- XX+ years English teaching experience
- Exceptional grammar
- Attention to detail
- Proven project management skills — juggling multiple projects in a deadline-driven environment

In business school, they advised 5-7 bullet points max.

Nicole Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:58 am

Oh cool, thanks Kristin!

Sue Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 1:29 am

I don’t send any attachments of any kind in a cover letter unless I am specifically asked. I have a web site set up that has my resume and links to articles, and I direct the editor there. My cover letter includes highlights of my experience and two or three direct links to recent articles.

Deb Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 1:36 am

I always attach a resume. I didn’t start doing this until the beginning of this year, and the results were amazing. I didn’t land as many jobs without the resume. I landed all but one when I included my resume.

I like attaching a resume because if the client has the desire to learn more about me after reading the cover letter, it’s all right there and can assist her in better making her decision.

Carly Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 2:23 am

Thanks, Mariella. I’m glad you agree. You’re free to quote me on your blog (that would be totally cool, actually). Maybe you could link to my own blog, too… it’s a food blog and thus has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but I’d appreciate the traffic, even though I don’t update as often as I’d like.

Phil Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 2:51 am

Deb,

If by “attach,” you mean “paste” a resume, that’s one thing. But many hiring authorities don’t want attachments and some spam filters will automatically reject them.

Deb Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 2:55 am

Phil,

I do mean attach - unless of course they request no attachments. No one has ever complained.

Jodee Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 3:00 am

I took a suggestion from someone on another board and took my home address and phone number off my resume for writing gigs. I do provide my e-mail address, though.

Mariella Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 3:06 am

Carly, I’ll link to you blog too, of course. Thank you

Jodee, I also took my address and phone numbers off my resume. The very last time I did that…no I’d rather not elaborate. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience.

Mark L Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 5:15 am

Biggest problem I see is that the writer is talking about why this job is a good job for her, not about how the client will benefit from hiring her.

As a customer, I really don’t care what your goals are — I care about getting copy that will achieve *my* goals. This query needs to be rewritten from the get-go with the focus on the customer, not the writer.

Start out by introducing yourself and explaining what you can do for the buyer.

“Hello, I am Jane Doe, and I am a freelance writer.

How does that help you? I can give you the type of attractive, engaging copy you need in a real estate article — words that will catch a reader’s attention and engage their interest. When they are done, they are going to want to stay at your site, looking for more.

Why do I feel confident in stating this? - Here is where you state your qualifications, again framing them in terms of what they will do for him or her –

Want some examples of work of this kind I have done before? Here are some urls (or attached clips) of similar work I have done in the past.”

This is direct and effective. Sell the benefit you provide, not you.

Misti Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 7:59 am

Disclaimer: I’m a 20-year-old chick with under 2 years of experience. Take my advice with as much salt as you like.

Advice: Liven it up!

First of all, active verbs work wonders. Also see if you can’t work some strong image into the letter. You want to be noticed and to catch the reader’s eye.

I get some of the best responses when a job’s such that I can open with, “How many writers, in the lazy days of winter, curl up by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate and a grammar handbook to read?” It’s a pertinent detail about me that affects my work. Of course, that line also tends to fit best with certain types of applications.

You could try checking out some other freelancers’ web sites and seeing how they talk about themselves. Take notes about what you like and what you don’t like. Try to consider them as if you might be interested in hiring them, yourself (and ignore such minutia as budget). Consider it from different angles of work that you do. What details do you find yourself wanting to know about the “potential employees”?

I hope this is helpful!

Melissa Donovan Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:38 pm

When I compose cover letters, my goal is always to tell the prospective client what I can do for them. If the entire letter was a sentence, the subject would be the client, the object would be me, and the connecting verb would be need: You need me. Here’s what I can do for you.

In the letter presented, opening with the word “I” is problematic because it kicks things off by saying, “let’s talk about me.” Instead, start with something like, “Your company will benefit from my broad writing experience and real estate knowledge.”

Good luck!

Phil Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 5:12 pm

Good suggestions on focusing on the customer (hiring authority).

Though Deb says she’s had no problem with attached resumes, I would still recommend pasting it at the bottom of e-mail instead. I write quite a bit about security and some spam/virus filters will kick out e-mails with attachments if set too “tight.”

Nicole Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 10:13 pm

Again, thanks so much everyone! I have learned from the best today, I do believe!

Melissa Garrett Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:37 pm
My first impression is that the writing is superfluous. Clean it up, and save the rambles for a blog entry.

The candidate mentions that he or she worked as an English teacher, yet there was a split infinitive in that same sentence (things like that stand out ~ use the spell/grammar check, which catches mechanical errors, as well).
NancyP Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:46 pm
I’d change some of the sentences to active voice. You could, for example, say, “I taught English for (x) years,” rather than, “I also have worked in the past as an English teacher.” If your experience doesn’t add up to a year, say, “I taught high school and middle school English,” or something else that indicates your level of experience.

I’d also change the sentence that begins, “One of my clients is…and my duties are to…” and begin, instead, with what you do, in active voice, placing a phrase about the client at the end. Your prospective client cares about what you can do rather than about your other clients’ interests.
Mariella Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:49 pm
I also don’t think you have to mention you’re a native English speaker. I’ve talked to an editor recently and she told me she’s not impressed by anyone who says that — she believes your work should speak for itself and you could be located in the mountains of Tibet for all she cares.

I also don’t see a history of your work as a writer anywhere, as Deb says, only the fact that you “research” for a client.

And thanks for the tip about not mentioning the sample is not relevant, Deb. I also tend to say if that’s the case with my cover letter.
Richard Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 7:58 pm
Be professional, polite and to the point. Saying “I worked as an English teacher, so my grammar skills are excellent” is superfluous. You would expect that from an English teacher, except for bad ones. And if you’re a bad one, you wouldn’t list it. I taught ESL but I don’t list this on my resume because I had a tough time on the job (it was 100% immersement and I often had students who spoke zero English). Teaching ESL is hard, and I learned more from what NOT to do than anything else.
Jeanne Dininni Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:08 pm
Deb,

Here are my ideas for improving this cover letter:

“The job you recently posted on Craigslist is perfect for me, since I have experience writing the type of articles you are seeking. One of my regular clients is creating a variety of websites for the Arizona real estate market, and my duties are to research area information and present it in an interesting and well-written format which includes specific keywords to help attract search engines to the website.

“As a writer, my goal is to create content that is engaging, yet search-engine friendly, when needed. I have also worked as an English teacher, and therefore my grammar skills are excellent. All work that I submit has been proofread and is error-free. Should you decide to add me to your team, you will find that I stay on task and complete work either on time or ahead of schedule. Deadlines are very important to me, so you may be sure that you will never receive work late.

“I have posted both my resume and a writing sample below. The sample will give you an idea of my writing style. I am available to begin work immediately, so please feel free to contact me with the details of your project. I look forward to working with you!”

Thanks!
Jeanne
Amy Ulibarri Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:10 pm
I would find a better opening line. Being “perfect” is a difficult accomplishment. Maybe just start out that you are a real estate writer, here are my qualifications…of course it would be phrased better!

Also, the “stay on task” line bugged me.
Jeanne Dininni Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
Deb,

I’d like to make a change to my editing of the letter. Now that I’ve thought about it, I would remove the word “therefore” from the sentence about being an English teacher, as follows:

“I have also worked as an English teacher, and my grammar skills are excellent.”

I also don’t really like “articles you are seeking” in the first paragraph, but “articles you seek” doesn’t sound quite right either. Perhaps “articles you are looking for” would be best. (Though probably more grammatically correct, “articles for which you are looking” is probably much too formal.)

Jeanne
Jodee Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 8:30 pm
This may be just a “Jodee” thing, but here goes…

If I was reading this letter as a prospective employer and the person mentions “one of my regular clients…” in the first paragraph, I may be wondering how this person would be able to fit my work in. I would want to know whether this person has relevant experience but I don’t know if this detail is necessary.
Phil Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 9:06 pm
To Jodee’s comment, if the person is sucessful, he’ll be busy. If I’m doing the hiring, I’d be more concerned when not busy.

From the other side, I find it’s always easier to get work when I’m not sure how to squeeze it in than when I’m busy.

The hiring authority knows that good candidates will have a lot of work and will be looking to upgrade their own client list.
Sue Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 9:16 pm
This letter didn’t sell me on the writer. First, I don’t want to be told someone is perfect — show me that in the letter! Second, I expect writers to respect deadlines and turn in quality work, so don’t tell me that (a well-written letter shows me something about your proofreading habits anyway). Third, I’m a little turned off by the “send me work right away” line at the end. I like confidence in a writer, but not cockiness. Plus, it makes you look a little desperate that you’ll take any bone you’re thrown, rather than wanting to discuss the details.

This letter talks at me without really telling me anything. I want to see the relevant experience. You say you write real estate articles. For whom? For how long? What qualifies you to write about real estate?

I agree with Jodee. I wouldn’t talk about the details of work you are doing for one client. It does make you sound too busy to take on new work. I would broaden out that section by simply saying the type of work you regularly do for clients include Internet research and coming up with articles strong on keywords.
Misses E. Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 9:46 pm
My edit suggestion is below. I’m thinking I may err on the side of being too short and concise, but I’ve always figured it’s better to have them finish the letter than get bored and quit reading before they get to your resume and samples.

I am submitting my resume for your review regarding the position you are currently advertising on Craigslist. I have (name quantity here) experience writing articles for the real estate field. I research area information and present it in an interesting format including specific keywords to help attract search engines to the website for a regular client for the Arizona real estate market.

I strive to create clean, effective content targeted to increase traffic with prompt turnaround.

My resume and a sample are posted below. Thank you for your time and consideration.

Sincerely,
Phil Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:08 pm
By the way,

Kudos to the person who offered this to be critiqued.
Nicole Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:16 pm
Hi everyone,

This is my letter, and thank you all for the excellent and constructive criticism. I look forward to reading more. I know this is one of my weakest areas. I am going to print off the suggested rewrites and study them. Thankfully, I did get this job and it is one of my highest paying jobs, but I can definitely see your points and the areas where I can improve. Thank you so much!

One question - I am only about a year into freelancing, so my experience is not that long in regards to time. However, in that year I have been able to replace my full time teaching income, so I must be doing something right. Any suggestions as to how to still come across as experienced and qualified without mentioning length of time? (Although my resume, which was sent with this letter does in fact mention the length of time I have worked for my various clients.)

Please continue to be constructive now that I have told you who I am!

Thanks so much everyone!
Amy Derby Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:43 pm
Here’s how I’d re-write it:

As an experienced real estate writer, I would love to hear more about the article writing job advertised on Craigslist. I currently write and research similar articles for the Arizona real estate market.

Client satisfaction is my priority. I have never missed a deadline. I deliver clear content which is engaging to the reader and appealing to search engines. I am a former English teacher and am based in the United States.

I am available immediately to discuss the details of your project. I have attached a writing sample to give you an idea of my writing style. I appreciate your consideration and look forward to hearing from you.
Nicole Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:47 pm
Amy,

I like your suggestion, because it can be easily changed to fit other needs (such as general SEO, web content writing, or other topic specifics).

Thanks!
Amy Derby Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 10:52 pm
P.S., Nicole, I just saw your post above mine. Congrats on getting the gig.

When I started applying for jobs, I simply left out the experience level and tried to make up for it by noting other positive aspects I could bring to the gig. My experience has been that clients care more what you can do for them than they care about your experience. If you can offer them something an experienced writer can’t, you’ll have a better shot at getting the job.
Carly Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 11:02 pm
As much as you would think the following statement is self-explanatory, it’s not: “I worked as an English teacher, so my grammar skills are excellent.” Oh, trust me, I’ve had PLENTY of English teachers whose grammar skills are far from excellent. I’d rephrase to something like, “My grammar skills are exemplary due to the ___ years I have spent teaching English.”

Also, I shouldn’t get started on this, but it REALLY bothers me when people specifically ask in ads for native English speakers to do their writing jobs for them. I understand why they do it, but I think it’s ridiculous. I am a native English speaker, I have an undergraduate degree in English, I have taught English, I am a freelance writer, I work as an editor, and my English skills are STILL not as good as my boyfriend’s. English is his third language.

I generally really like the second half of the second paragraph of the cover letter, “All of the work…” onward. I think it’s good.

For the most part, I agree with Deb’s comments except for one thing. She suggests it’s not necessary to mention why the sample provided isn’t directly relevant to the job, but I appreciated that part of the cover letter. If I was a client, you’d better believe I’d be wondering why I wasn’t receiving a real estate sample of writing if the freelancer billed herself as a real estate writer. People can make so much stuff up, and a simple statement of clarification like Nicole gave is helpful for credibility purposes.

Nicole, if you are making a sufficient income by freelancing, I’d imagine you have a bunch of clients and jobs you’ve done throughout the past year that you can list in your cover letter. I’d strongly suggest doing that.

I also like Misses E’s rewrite, but I feel the last sentence of the first paragraph is a bit of a run-on.
Mary Says:
October 16th, 2007 at 11:06 pm
I agree with all the above. Some excellent for all of us as we all fall victim to our own writing bad habits. As for your lack of years in experience writing. Don’t mention it.
In your resume state recent projects that deal with the job you are appling for at the time. I tailor mine almost every time to what the job requirements are. If they ask you outright how long have you been writing then you can go over your experience at this time.
I’m looking forward to the re-write.
Rob Mead Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:21 am
These are all great suggestions on how to re-write a cover letter that actually worked. I wonder how important it is to attach your writing resume to a cover letter such as this if it drags the reader down.

Maybe we should all just write in the relevant writing experiences we’ve had with like-minded publications in the cover letter itself instead of attaching a resume in a word doc.

If anybody has had success with this method, please post the outcome and tell us how many years of experience you included with the relevant work history.
Nicole Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:30 am
Well, I always paste my resume below the cover letter. I feel like if the client wants to see it, it’s there, but if my cover letter doesn’t impress he/she doesn’t have to read it. I don’t usually attach it because that can get an email blocked sometimes. However, I am not as experienced as several of these writers!
Mariella Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:45 am
Also, I shouldn’t get started on this, but it REALLY bothers me when people specifically ask in ads for native English speakers to do their writing jobs for them. I understand why they do it, but I think it’s ridiculous. I am a native English speaker, I have an undergraduate degree in English, I have taught English, I am a freelance writer, I work as an editor, and my English skills are STILL not as good as my boyfriend’s. English is his third language.

Thank you very much for saying this, it couldn’t have come at a better time. I will definitely quote you on my blog (link on my name) in the near future as I feel a post on a relevant topic is in order soon.
Kristin Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:51 am
Congratulations on getting the gig — and I echo Phil above that it is great that you submitted your letter and are open to everyone’s comments…

I would suggest streamlining the 2nd paragraph by using bullet points so the reader can quickly glean your areas of expertise.

- Delivering engaging content
- SEO optimization
- XX+ years English teaching experience
- Exceptional grammar
- Attention to detail
- Proven project management skills — juggling multiple projects in a deadline-driven environment

In business school, they advised 5-7 bullet points max.
Nicole Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:58 am
Oh cool, thanks Kristin!
Sue Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 1:29 am
I don’t send any attachments of any kind in a cover letter unless I am specifically asked. I have a web site set up that has my resume and links to articles, and I direct the editor there. My cover letter includes highlights of my experience and two or three direct links to recent articles.
Deb Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 1:36 am
I always attach a resume. I didn’t start doing this until the beginning of this year, and the results were amazing. I didn’t land as many jobs without the resume. I landed all but one when I included my resume.

I like attaching a resume because if the client has the desire to learn more about me after reading the cover letter, it’s all right there and can assist her in better making her decision.
Carly Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 2:23 am
Thanks, Mariella. I’m glad you agree. You’re free to quote me on your blog (that would be totally cool, actually). Maybe you could link to my own blog, too… it’s a food blog and thus has nothing to do with the topic at hand, but I’d appreciate the traffic, even though I don’t update as often as I’d like.
Phil Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 2:51 am
Deb,

If by “attach,” you mean “paste” a resume, that’s one thing. But many hiring authorities don’t want attachments and some spam filters will automatically reject them.
Deb Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 2:55 am
Phil,

I do mean attach - unless of course they request no attachments. No one has ever complained.
Jodee Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 3:00 am
I took a suggestion from someone on another board and took my home address and phone number off my resume for writing gigs. I do provide my e-mail address, though.
Mariella Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 3:06 am
Carly, I’ll link to you blog too, of course. Thank you

Jodee, I also took my address and phone numbers off my resume. The very last time I did that…no I’d rather not elaborate. It wasn’t a very pleasant experience.
Mark L Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 5:15 am
Biggest problem I see is that the writer is talking about why this job is a good job for her, not about how the client will benefit from hiring her.

As a customer, I really don’t care what your goals are — I care about getting copy that will achieve *my* goals. This query needs to be rewritten from the get-go with the focus on the customer, not the writer.

Start out by introducing yourself and explaining what you can do for the buyer.

“Hello, I am Jane Doe, and I am a freelance writer.

How does that help you? I can give you the type of attractive, engaging copy you need in a real estate article — words that will catch a reader’s attention and engage their interest. When they are done, they are going to want to stay at your site, looking for more.

Why do I feel confident in stating this? - Here is where you state your qualifications, again framing them in terms of what they will do for him or her –

Want some examples of work of this kind I have done before? Here are some urls (or attached clips) of similar work I have done in the past.”

This is direct and effective. Sell the benefit you provide, not you.
Misti Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 7:59 am
Disclaimer: I’m a 20-year-old chick with under 2 years of experience. Take my advice with as much salt as you like.

Advice: Liven it up!

First of all, active verbs work wonders. Also see if you can’t work some strong image into the letter. You want to be noticed and to catch the reader’s eye.

I get some of the best responses when a job’s such that I can open with, “How many writers, in the lazy days of winter, curl up by the fire with a mug of hot chocolate and a grammar handbook to read?” It’s a pertinent detail about me that affects my work. Of course, that line also tends to fit best with certain types of applications.

You could try checking out some other freelancers’ web sites and seeing how they talk about themselves. Take notes about what you like and what you don’t like. Try to consider them as if you might be interested in hiring them, yourself (and ignore such minutia as budget). Consider it from different angles of work that you do. What details do you find yourself wanting to know about the “potential employees”?

I hope this is helpful!
Melissa Donovan Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 12:38 pm
When I compose cover letters, my goal is always to tell the prospective client what I can do for them. If the entire letter was a sentence, the subject would be the client, the object would be me, and the connecting verb would be need: You need me. Here’s what I can do for you.

In the letter presented, opening with the word “I” is problematic because it kicks things off by saying, “let’s talk about me.” Instead, start with something like, “Your company will benefit from my broad writing experience and real estate knowledge.”

Good luck!
Phil Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 5:12 pm
Good suggestions on focusing on the customer (hiring authority).

Though Deb says she’s had no problem with attached resumes, I would still recommend pasting it at the bottom of e-mail instead. I write quite a bit about security and some spam/virus filters will kick out e-mails with attachments if set too “tight.”
Nicole Says:
October 17th, 2007 at 10:13 pm
Again, thanks so much everyone! I have learned from the best today, I do believe!

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