Cover Letter Clinic
Before introducing you to today’s cover letter, a few bits of business.
- This is probably my last post for a day or two as I’m leaving early tomorrow A.M for Blog Expo in Las Vegas. Jodee, Ahmed Bilal, Ryan Caldwell, and Jennifer Chait will be blogging for you in my absence and I hope to bring you reports from the road here and at About Weblogs.
- Please continue to vote for me as Best Individual Blogger. You may vote once every 24 hours and I could really use the love. If everyone who visits this blog on a daily basis votes at least once, I can be in the top 3.
- Michael Stelzner is once again looking for the Top 10 Blogs for Writers. Please nominate your favorite. Last year FWJ was number 2!
I’m rushing today, so please add your input for today’s cover letter.
Dear Mr. (withheld),
I am a freelance writer who is interested in contributing to withheld.com . Money and career management is one of my specialty areas, and I am a frequent contributor to print and online publications including Young Money, WORKS by Nicole Williams, and Experience.com. I also write a monthly career column for Mahogany magazine and published an essay in the Boston Globe’s Sunday jobs section.
I am adept at delivering quality content that is thoroughly researched and carefully checked for grammar and style issues. I am also able to write for a variety of audiences, particularly consumers who are trying to decipher complex financial concepts and apply them to their every day lives. These traits will undoubtedly be an asset to your editorial team at withheld.com, so I look forward to hearing from you regarding your current freelance needs. I have also included some writing samples for your perusal: XXX, XXX, and XXX.Feel free to contact me at XXX or XXX to further discuss my credentials or possible assignments with withheld.com. I look forward to hearing from you.
Best,
Susan
I don’t have too many negative things to say about this cover letter. In the first paragraph she covers two essentials: she lets the reader know why she’s writing and how she’s qualified. I wish, in the second paragraph, she talks a little more about what she’ll do for this particular website. It’s a popular one, so she’s sure to have ideas.
I don’t think it’s necessary to name your writing samples in your cover letter. It’s not relevant to the cover letter and the reader will learn what they’re called once he or she reads the samples.
I do like this letter. It’s brief and informative but covers all the necessities.
What do you think?
Deb
Please see some of my other blogs:
Posted
on
Monday, November 5th, 2007 at 9:08 pm under
Still to many I’s. Suggest changing it up with things like “my work appears in Young Money…” and similar wording to avoid so many I’s, though I struggle with this issue as well.
November 5th, 2007 at 9:27 pmPhil (and others), one thing that gets talked about a lot in these clinics is eliminating the “I” factor, but no one has really described how to avoid it.
I liked this letter for the most part (it is very similar to my LOI template). The part that I personally didn’t like was the statement that “these traits will undoubtedly be an asset . . .” That feels arrogant, but that’s also probably picking a nit on my part.
November 5th, 2007 at 9:48 pmDeb,
The Web site under consideration is revealed in the first sentence of the last paragraph.
Regarding the cover letter, I disagree about including the titles of the sample articles. In my opinion, they are relevant because they could provide additional clarification for the person who reads the cover letter whether or not the writer is suitable to provide content for the Web site.
I think the writer should choose material very carefully, however. If the included titles indicate articles that are trivial, outdated, taboo, off topic, or otherwise questionable, that could work against his or her goal to establish a relationship with the Web site.
November 5th, 2007 at 9:55 pmHave a great time at the Blog Expo!
Looking forward to hearing all about it… and to also seeing what Jennifer C. has to say. She’s a definite fave of mine around the blogosphere!
November 5th, 2007 at 10:34 pmI don’t feel qualified to comment on the cover letter itself, but I did want to mention the importance of grammar, particularly subject/verb agreement.
“Money and career management is one of my specialty areas,…”
Two part subject = plural verb. It should read, “Money and career management are two (or simply “are”) of my specialty areas,…”
I’m not trying to be snarky, but little things like this are important, especially when one asserts their command of grammar in the next paragraph.
Troi
November 6th, 2007 at 5:47 amI’d pull it into paragraphs more– people scan, so make it easy to scan. But, yeah, I like it!
November 6th, 2007 at 7:40 amHave fun at the expo!
The cover letter looks good to me, but I’d make sure to be extra careful when proof-reading, the Troilee’s comment stuck out to me too but I couldn’t figure out how to say what was wrong with it, thanks Troilee for putting it so well.
November 6th, 2007 at 10:09 amA good rule of thumb is never start a cover letter with the word “I.” Start it with “you” or just about anything else. It’s best, actually, to avoid that word as much as possible in any cover letter.
Why? Because people, especially important ones who make hiring decisions, like to feel significant, and what makes them feel significant is when you talk about anything other than yourself. The trick is to talk about them and how whatever it is you’re offering will make their life better.
It’s hard to do when you’re selling yourself but it can be done.
-Melissa Donovan
November 6th, 2007 at 1:22 pmWriting for Writers
It’s pretty decent. A few people have mentioned the “I” issue and I completely agree. Some sentences could be completely rewritten to avoid it.
For instance, the letter could be written like this.
= = = = = =
Dear Mr. ________:
If you are seeking an experienced freelance writer known for delivering quality content that is thoroughly researched, then we should schedule an interview.
Allow me to introduce myself; I am a frequent contributor to print and online publications including Young Money, WORKS by Nicole Williams, and Experience.com. Additionally, I write a monthly career column for Mahogany magazine and published an essay in the Boston Globe.
As an expert communicator, I can easily break down complex, financial concepts to consumers who would like to apply cutting edge ideas to their daily lives.
If my credentials, further detailed in my attached resume are a good match to your needs, an interview could be mutually beneficial. I’d love to hear from you and learn about your organization’s goals and how I can contribute.
I look forward to our conversation.
Best Regards,
Susan D. Jobseeker
P.S. You may also visit my online portfolio at www.whatever whatever .com.
November 8th, 2007 at 2:08 pm