Cover Letter Clinic
The cover letter clinic was on hold while I attended BWE and now that I had time to catch my breath and semi-catch up, I’m ready to post another.
Good afternoon,
My name is (withheld), and I would be thrilled to have the opportunity to help build withheld.com with copy that is accessible, persuasive, and fun. I am an experienced freelance web writer with over 300 articles online at withheld.com, including articles about baby products and pregnancy. As a former communication professor, I have outstanding writing skills and an in-depth understanding of how persuasion and marketing works on the web. I also am the mother of a fabulous toddler.
Below, please find a link to my online resume, along with links to several of my online articles that relate to baby products. I chose these articles because they demonstrate that I have a very accessible and sometimes humorous writing style.Online resume: http://withhelds.com/
Sample articles:
Withheld
Withheld
Withheld
Thank you kindly for your consideration, and I hope to hear from you soon.
Sincerely,
Withheld
This is nice…short, sweet and lists some career highlights and skills. Not bad, though I do have some specific nitpicks. For instance, there’s no need to mention your toddler. It’s assumed that most parenting writers are parents themselves and even if you have the best kid in the world, it’s not relevant to the topic. Without trying to sound mean, having a child doesn’t make you an expert, really, there’s no reason to have it in there.
I also don’t feel it’s necessary to tell this potential client why you chose your samples. If you tell a story with humor it’ll show through. One more thing, while I appreciate knowing all of your wonderful details, you haven’t told me yet what you can do for me, your client. How are you different from the rest of the hundreds of parenting writers out there? Why should I choose you over them? What can you do for me?
Posted
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Thursday, November 15th, 2007 at 9:08 pm under
Aquarium fishing! Yay!
This is the best cover letter I’ve seen so far (although I may have missed some). I’d probably hire this person. I’d get rid of this:
“I chose these articles because they demonstrate that I have a very accessible and sometimes humorous writing style.”
Otherwise, no complaints from me.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:24 pmI agree with Deb that I’d get rid of the sentence about having a toddler. It doesn’t add to your authority as a parent. I’d also get rid of the the phrase “I have outstanding writing skills,” but I’d keep the rest of the sentence. If your writing is good, it will show in your clips. I also agree about that line introducing your clips, for the same reason. Don’t tell me what your writing style is and especially don’t tell me it is humorous. As an editor, I am most interested in seeing if your style matches the style of my publication.
November 15th, 2007 at 9:40 pmI’m a little overextended and tired right now, so when I read that she had published over 300 articles at withheld.com, I wondered, what is withheld.com and do they pay well? Then it dawned on me. Duh.
November 16th, 2007 at 12:43 amMinor item: I would flip the mention of the online articles and resume. It’s my experience that the actual writing is more important than the background. Again, a very minor item.
November 16th, 2007 at 1:43 amIs that your new fridge in the picture, Deb? Schnazzy!
November 16th, 2007 at 1:55 amPerhaps instead of saying “I chose these articles because they demonstrate blah, blah, blah,” the writer could salvage that phrase by saying something like “my accessible and sometimes humorous writing style helps readers blah, blah, blah.” I know why she included it, but as other commenters have said before: show, don’t tell.
November 16th, 2007 at 5:50 amI’ll add my 2cts how about posting cover letters that led to assignments.
November 17th, 2007 at 4:18 amwhy is cover letter so importand? A resume is useless to an employer if he or she doesn’t know what kind of work you want to do. A cover letter tellsthe employer the type of position you’re seekinf-and exactly how you are qualified for that position.
A dynamic cover letter can give you an edge in the competitive world of job-hunting. The experts say that only two to five of every hundred resume survive the screening process. Clearly, you can increase your chances of being invited for an interview by writing an effictive cover letter.
November 22nd, 2007 at 6:52 pm