I must seem like an awful martyr sometimes with all this talk about waking up at four and trolling the job boards for hours. Sometimes I look back at some of the things I wrote and wonder if I didn’t paint such an attractive picture. While I believe in being truthful, I also think it’s important to know I’m human. I have bad days and good days and I believe the key to it all is balance.
I received an email yesterday that had me thinking. The writer chose to remain anonymous but had a good point. “Deb, you talk about how great the freelancing life is, but I don’t see it. You wake up at four and work all your spare time. You have to worry about tax deductions, micromanaging editors, saving money, health care, landing steady work and meeting deadlines. How is this more enjoyable than having a steady, full time job in corporate
Reward Yourself
Well I guess when you put it that way it’s not so glamorous, but then, who said anything about glamour? I enjoy what I do. I guess I can see what he means about it not looking so appealing, but I’ll take it over having a boss looking over my shoulder any day. Besides, my day isn’t all waking up early and working. I always make sure to reward myself.
I reward myself in a simple way some might find silly. I visit the library once a week alone. I browse the bookshelves and take my time choosing books, without a little voice asking if we can go yet. I also choose several movies for my husband to enjoy during the week. On the way home, I’ll pick up Starbucks, usually a white chocolate mocha. When I’m through working for the evening, usually 8 or 9:00, I’ll read or Mr. Ng and I will enjoy a movie together.
How Do You Reward Yourself?
How do you take time out for you? Perhaps it’s with a hot bath and gossip magazine, or a bike ride in the park. Maybe you like to workout at the gym or go out for a gourmet meal? Everyone has a different idea of what makes up a rewarding experience. I guess my point is that we have to be responsible and get the job done, of course. But if we want to create a good balance and keep from suffering from job burnout, we have to take time for ourselves, whether it’s ten minutes a day or a couple of hours a week. Whether it’s going for a hike on the weekends or crocheting an afghan, we need to reward ourselves. This business may not look attractive to others, but finding a good balance makes it all worth it.
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December 5th, 2007 at 9:12 pm
I reward myself by attending different workout classes throughout the week. I can talk to people and get my blood pumping. Some might feel this is a crazy way to reward myself, but I really enjoy the workout and the interaction with others. When my husband is not in season (coaching) he attends the classes with me. Then I return to my quiet home to spend (more) time with my husband.
With a 9-to-5, I was always rushing to get to my classes and sometimes just plain missed them. This was due to being a salaried editor who had to put in extra hours because of poor management above my head. Most of this overtime was never compensated. Since I work at home I manage ALL the workflow…so I never miss a workout class!
December 5th, 2007 at 9:13 pm
I buy myself something nice. First thing I ever bought with writing money was a camera. Then I lost it. Oh well, time for a better one. I might save up for a digital SLR, who knows. For now I can use my wife’s Sony Cyber-shot.
Other than that, I like to take a few minutes a day away from the kids and have a Rum and Coke.
December 5th, 2007 at 9:59 pm
Well, I just came back from the mall and I bought myself a nice pair of new Nikes. I also bought a 7-feet Christmas tree.
I rarely splurge on shopping though. I usually treat my whole family out to dinner during Sundays.
I don’t have much to spare for luxury since I’m the family breadwinner. But I’m not someone who could work under supervision. I get choked when I’m forced to wear office clothes every single day (once in a while is all right). I can’t live working under a boss. I can’t help it. I’m innately autonomous, so to speak. My freedom is the greatest reward I could ever get.
December 5th, 2007 at 10:06 pm
Honestly? My biggest reward is that I get to sleep in each morning and can wake up via my own body clock rather than on an artificial schedule dictated by some boss. Then I quit work at 5:30, no matter what, to watch my favorite TV show. On Fridays, I try to cut my work day short so I can meet a friend for happy hours.
To answer your emailer, the great thing about the freelance life is the freedom of choice. It isn’t a glamour job. It’s a job and we have to worry about things like taxes and deadlines and health care and life balance just like any other worker. But we can choose our hours. We can choose our work loads. We don’t have to ask permission for vacation or reschedule our plans because a co-worker asked for the same time off. If we want to take a 3-hour lunch, we can.
December 5th, 2007 at 10:14 pm
There are several things I do to reward myself for hard work. I sleep in after a long day/night/early morning of finishing up a big project. By sleep in, I mean 10-11am like I did on weekends in college
I also buy gifts for friends and family. I already have enough stuff and I enjoy shopping so others benefit from my “reward”.
My last reward is my Tuesday and Thursday class on American history. I teach at a local college and while it is a lot of work to keep college students who aren’t interested in history interested, it is an opportunity to speak with people about something I enjoy.
I think the key is finding different rewards for your hard work. God knows we all deserve it
December 5th, 2007 at 10:21 pm
Right now, I’ve been working 50 to 60 hours a week and not rewarding myself at all. Propane bill has to get paid somehow…
In Sept. and October, when my mom was still hunting for a job, the two of us would go to lunch and then do some window shopping. She’s found another job finally after 8 months of being laid off, so those girl’s day outs are over.
I supposed my own reward right now - my husband’s employer just switched insurance plans and this company is offering exceptional coverage (much better than we had and what we had was 100 times better than what my own friends have) no more co-pays for physicals or in-patient hospital care YEAH and no deductibles at all. The best part is that the rates are not going up with this switch they locked in their rate until 2010, so that gives us some peace of mind for a couple years.
But you know what, in the end, while I may be bypassing rewards right now. I keep looking at my neighbor - her 18 year old just had her baby last weekend and her son’s 15 year old girlfriend is due in a month. I’m much rather forgo some me time and be at home to raise my kids than turn them into affection starved, latch-key kids, who while mom worked 50 hour weeks and had her “me” time at Friday night after-hour parties, had the house all to themselves where they chose to gain affection in all the wrong ways.
December 5th, 2007 at 10:51 pm
I think I agree with Sue about getting up when my body is ready. However, usually I hurt too bad to willingly get up so I force myself out of bed once there is light in the room. If it’s still dark there is no way I can get up and still function.
I really don’t have time for rewards. I just work and work some more. I am thankful to be able to work my schedule around my life when necessary. But since I don’t have much of a life it is rarely an issue.
Thinking about it, I guess visiting this site and some of the boards is somewhat of a reward.
December 5th, 2007 at 10:58 pm
I don’t do enough to reward myself. But when I do, it’s a complete day of relaxation. I don’t go online. I stay in bed ALL DAY. My husband brings me food, rubs my feet, and brings me whatever I need. I read fashion magazines and watch bad TV shows.
It’s called “Princess Day” in our house. It doesn’t happen often enough. But when it does, it’s bliss.
Oh … and I also reward myself monetarily by buying expensive shoes and handbags.
–Kori
December 5th, 2007 at 11:38 pm
Funny you mention this because I was just thinking about this today for the first time. I”m just a mom, who writes on the side for extra cash. Right now we need that extra cash, but soon, after we move, we will not. That means I’ll be doing the crazy shift for the fun of it, not to pay the bills. To me, a corporate job comes with a bunch of political, unprofessional stuff that isn’t worth dealing.
Still, some days … like this week, when things are slow, I can’t help wonder this same thing.
December 5th, 2007 at 11:59 pm
Great post, Deb.
Every day is really a reward, although I don’t always have the frame of mind to see it that way.
This morning when I saw all the snow, I thought, “Wow! Pretty!” Four years ago I would have seen the snow and thought, “[Insert profanity here], now I have to walk to the train in this [insert another profanity here].”
The one thing I do to reward myself is to spend a few hours every day playing with my pet rabbits. I get them out of their houses, set up all the toys and we have a great time. I brush them, feed them treats. They like cartoons with songs (I’m serious), and we watch the Charlie Brown Christmas dvd (that’s their favorite — they stretch out and watch it like tiny furry people). Even if I’m so busy it means I have to work until 3am to finish everything, the bunnies are the one thing I do take time for every day.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:16 am
Amy, I hear you about snow. I enjoy it much more not having to go anywhere. When it snows during the day, often I’ll work on the couch with the blinds on our big living room window open so that I can see the flakes falling through the air. It’s like being in a great big snow globe.
Also like Amy, my reward is being able to rearrange my schedule and spend time with my animals. Right now it means working fewer hours, but that’s fine with me. It’s just incentive to be more selective about the jobs — and the pay rates — I accept.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:22 am
But of course, I reward myself by coming to read FWJ!
Honestly, a break to use the internet for mindless stuff like I did pre-WAHM for a few minutes each day.
@Matt–I find a Rum & Coke makes it easier to deal with the kids, too
Guess that means we can add ‘drinking on the job’ to our list of bene’s?! Ha, Ha
December 6th, 2007 at 12:26 am
Being able to be home for my boys is reward in and of itself. This morning my third grader said, “I’m so glad we have a half day today!”
“You don’t have a half day today.” I told him.
“Sure we do.”
And he was right. And guess what? No problem. I was able to pick the kids up from school at 1:15 instead of 3:00 without any kink in my day.
I can be in their classroom, run the book fair at school, pick them up if they get sick and have peace of mind that if there is an emergency, I’m always right around the corner.
I also reward myself by spending two hours every Friday afternoon with the girls at the local coffee shop
Oh, and working in jeans and a t-shirt each day - love it!
Plus, I love writing - so when I am working my tail off at my desk until 1am at times, it’s very rewarding.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:26 am
Great post. Yes, it’s no fun if it’s ALWAYS work. This has turned out to be an incredibly busy month for me (none of it even has to do with Christmas!) so I’m looking forward to a relaxing January.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:31 am
I go for a long walk each day. May not seem like a reward but it is. When I was working, often the weather would be beautiful and I’d be stuck inside and when I’d get off, it was all gone. Or maybe it would snow, or storm, or pour down rain and my thoughts were on how I’d get home. Now when that happens, I think, it’s time to go for a walk and see what’s going on in the world.
But my most recent reward is playing Ms. Pacman. No. I don’t play with my kids, and I only allow them to join me if I want them to. I ordered this game on QVC and I have gotten to Level 2, but not yet through the apple part. It’s a hoot! If you only knew me, you’d know how odd this is for me. But it’s fun, and rather…well…mindless.
OK…back to walking…that just sounds better…more romantic, more writerly. Nevermind what I said about Ms. Pacman. You didn’t hear that!
Karen
December 6th, 2007 at 12:37 am
I am not in the freelance world yet, but the rewards that I anticipate are the reason that I am pursuing this lifestyle. I have been in the standard cubicle environment and am currently back in school for my Bachelor’s degree. When I graduate, my hope is to never go back to the 9-5 world again.
1.Freedom to nap.
If I can’t work because I’m too tired, I would much rather take a 20 minute nap and hop back on the keyboard, than spend all day pretending to work until I can get home.
2. Freedom from wardrobe pressure.
Even when telecommuting, I’ve never been able to get into the PJ dresscode. However, I would love to not have to fret over what I wear to work.
3. Freedom to leave.
When bad weather hits, I don’t want to ever have to ask permission to get my daughter from school again. I’d rather work late into the night than face the anxiety of worrying how I am going to get to her.
I could go on and on, but I know that this is something that I need to do. I have been fortunate enough to have an internship with minimal supervision which has given me the confidence to know that I *can* do the work without someone over my shoulder. Now I just need to get done with school so that I can get on with it!
December 6th, 2007 at 12:46 am
I don’t have any spare time, either, but it doesn’t really bother me. I mean, the toughest day of freelance writing still involves me sitting around at home in my Scooby-Doo pajamas. It’s hard to complain, lol.
I think my “treats” are when I play around on Twitter or Digg, but even that’s still networking for work.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:50 am
I am very bad at rewarding myself, always have been. Thankfully, my husband is very good at reminding me to reward myself. He’ll come home with some flowers, a DVD or CD I have been meaning to get, or a big cup of expensive coffee. Sometimes he will take the computer away and take me to dinner or take me to the bookstore even if I don’t need anything. He can gauge my burn-out much better than I can and knows when I need a pick-me-up.
The one reward I do give myself every Wednesday and Saturday is a hot bubblebath with paperback.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:54 am
A business group I belonged to (since disbanded) recommended long-term and short-term rewards. Short-term (like starbucks) could be for something small, like finishing a project, while long-term rewards, like a weekend vacation would be for something like exceeding income standards for successive months.
I don’t do enough with short-term, but vacations are very important. I took nearly three weeks two years ago. My employed friends (so-called real jobs) couldn’t believe I took that much time off. The 60-hour weeks can pay off.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:02 am
@everyone - You’re right. Being able to make my own hours, dress as I want and not have to trudge through the snow to the subway is reward enough in itself. It’s still nice to give yourself little treats now and then.
My husband and I also set aside a little each month to save up for something frivolous. Two years ago I bought myself a big stove with five burners and two ovens because I enjoy baking so much. Last year it was a big screen television. This year I saved up so I can get my husband a recliner for Christmas.
I think rewards are what you make of them. My hour at the library is such a treat it feels almost decadent. I used to feel guilty about not bringing my son with me, but that was short lived.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:50 am
There is nothing in the world nicer than a white chocolate mocha and an optional slice of pumpkin pie or square of dark chocolate.
That’s my ultimate reward - maybe once every week or so. It’s usually enough to get me going again when I feel down.
December 6th, 2007 at 1:58 am
Great topic… rewards are eating chocolate, buying friends and family little gifts; treating myself to CDs and DVDs… buying a new Christmas tree, and enjoying putting up the decorations
…Oh yeah, and getting a quick sneaky look at pressies when they’re put under the tree 
December 6th, 2007 at 2:01 am
Deb, you are so right about the snow. The great thing about working from home is knowing whilst it is bitter and cold outside we can be snug and warm inside.
December 6th, 2007 at 2:17 am
You know, writing is a treat for me. But when I need a break, I email friends or chat with family online. I am totally addicted to the computer. I also love hanging out on facebook. My “out of hte house” time is the activities I do with my daughter every morning (library day, playgroup, etc.) Every once in a while I ask dad to step in so I can do some shopping alone. That is another way I treat myself.
December 6th, 2007 at 3:34 am
I’m not good at planning regular rewards for myself either, but I love being able to pick my daughter up from school every day, instead of enrolling her in an after-school program. We did that when she was in kindergarten, and it was a decent program, but I wished I could be home with her then. I started volunteering for the PTO this year too, and I’m amazed at how much I enjoy it. It feels like being part of a great club–there are bunch of us who are either SAHM/Ds or WAHM/Ds who have gotten to know each other, so it’s nice to have the flexibility to work on those school projects when I have time. For me, that’s my reward–getting to be in charge of my schedule each day.
December 6th, 2007 at 5:03 am
I live out west and keep East Coast hours (clients), so I quit at 3:00 PM. To relax, I listen to novels on CD. I prefer reading, but lost the sight in my right eye due to a detached retina and 4 failed surgeries during the last year. The cats and the dog like “story hour.” They all come in and listen politely. Then I turn on cable and see who we bombed–relaxation over!
December 6th, 2007 at 5:29 am
@Andrea, Jenn, Robin:
Exactly. After years of seething because my employers hated the idea that I was also a mom, my stress is gone. I can homeschool my kids, volunteer with the scout troops and be with them when they are sad or sick or worried. Granted, I shop at discount stores and drive older cars, but it is all worth it. I know what it’s like to be on the other side. With a military husband, all sick kid days, school events, etc., fell to me and it was detrimental to my career(s). Now, my career is up to me, not to an OCD boss or a government proposal due tomorrow that HAS to hit tonight’s FedEx. Priceless. (Hey, I should work for B of A!)
December 6th, 2007 at 5:57 am
I love to reward myself by buying fun stationary and greeting cards to send to friends and family! It sounds kinda cheesy, I know, but how many times are we ever sent a card from a loved one in the mail other than on our birthday and holiday’s? To me, sending the cards via postal mail is like sending a big hug to a loved one!
You know, I get razzed all of the time about working from home. Some people in my family are even nosey and ask how much I make a week. My answer? I make more than what most people do who are working a typical 9-5 job, but I can do it from the comfort of my home! I can takes as many breaks as I want, sleep in, if I so choose, run to the store when I need to, listen to my favorite music while I am working, etc. How many other people can say the same? It is a BLESSING to be a freelance writer and make a decent living working from home! Sure, I am not banking every week, but I can pay my bills, save money, plus grab some fun treats and eat out from time to time. Although there are downfalls to working sometimes ( such as staying up all night for an urgent, last minute assignment), I can’t help but think that there are many people that have their downfalls to work, too.
No matter what we all do for a living, it is important to remember to take a moment to treat ourselves from time to time! Loving one’s self is the best way to be prepared to love others!
Happy Holidays, fellow freelancers!
December 6th, 2007 at 6:29 am
I think the lifestyle itself is a reward– being able to be home with my kids, to take time to watch them grow, to visit with friends in the middle of the day sometimes… Even though it stresses me out at times (frequently!), I have to take a moment now and then to count my blessings! Cheesy, I know.
Other rewards? Once a month or so I have a girls’ night– nothing wild, usually just dinner out or hanging out at someone’s house, but it’s sooooo nice to be away from my laptop, kids, and hubby for a few hours! I’m also hopelessly addicted to books and Amazon is my drug of choice!
December 6th, 2007 at 7:05 am
I definitely love the freedom of working at home… and not having to deal with the corporate politics. The company I left behind went through acquisitions and loads of people were downsized or jumped ship. I don’t miss that feeling of “I’ll just keep showing up until they tell me I don’t have a job.” No thanks!
I rewarded myself today with some much needed new clothes… other rewards — a bottle of wine and Thursday night comedies. I never work on Thursday nights so I can watch The Office & 30 Rock.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:26 am
Misty,
I am addicted to Amazon also, as well as Netflix. (Books and dvds are some more of my rewards.) My mailman probably wonders if I’m running some sort of second hand shop here.
December 6th, 2007 at 9:47 am
2 for 1 at Tom Reid’s - nothing like Summit Pale Ale on the cheap!
Well, that and Thai food.
December 6th, 2007 at 12:51 pm
My little daily reward: Sirius Internet Radio.
The rewards of freelancing are numerous, but for me the freedom from office politics is huge. And since I worked for a law enforcement agency for 20 years, I also have a severe allergic reaction to overly authoritarin environments.
December 6th, 2007 at 4:42 pm
I always seem to be on the punishment end. I always missed my self-imposed deadlines and had to stay home and work harder rather than going out and having fun. Enjoying my normal life was my simple reward.
December 6th, 2007 at 6:54 pm
I reward myself with a new video game each month if I feel that “all things considered” I did a good job that month. I build in the “fact of occasional failure” and don’t expect perfection. I just want to have the sense that I did my best. If I can say that honestly, then I get a new video game.
December 6th, 2007 at 7:54 pm
I reward myself through the weekly practice of Artist Dates. Yes, there are weeks when the time doesn’t present itself. So, the following week, I make an extra effort to make sure it happens. This is scheduled *me* time which allows for self-care, some indulgences, and some QUIET.
December 9th, 2007 at 4:27 am
I think the job IS the reward. I hear what everybody here is saying, but I know after 20 years working for the “man” I just like being home when my kids get out of school. I like being able to work in my sweats. That the dog isn’t in the kennel all day long. That if my best friend calls me in the middle of the day, I can chat with her for an hour without worrying that my so-called co-worker one cube over isn’t going to whine about talking on the phone.
And the best part? When I don’t have work, I don’t work. I hated pretending to be busy or doing the “power down” at 4:55 every day and watching the second hand tick down. It was “Office Space” every day, and many real world jobs are like that. There are so many inefficiencies. I’m not inefficient now. Maybe I don’t have “down time” but I’m here typing, so that’s something (and nobody is monitoring my Internet usage!).