So, I’m at a strange place with my freelance writing. I seem to have exactly enough work to do. How is this possible? How can the scales have managed to balance in such perfect alignment?
The truth of the matter is that is sort of freaking me out. Maybe it’s because I’m used to always being freaked out about having too much to do (how am I going to make all those deadlines?) or about not having enough to do (how am I going to pay the bills?), but I can’t seem to just sit back and appreciate a situation where I have precisely the amount of work I can do in exactly the number of hours I have available to do it.
Oh, and at good rates, too.
To be honest, I prefer to have too much on my plate because then I have the opportunity to pass work on to other members of our team. BUT. This isn’t so bad, either. I mean, it really beats the end of December when I was thinking, “Oh my god, I’m messing around on Facebook and I’m not putting off any work to do it.” (That is a scary feeling, my friends.)
But, something just feels off. I don’t think I know how to survive without that perpetual terror nagging at me. As far as I can tell, I’ve really got nothing to be worried about right now, and I’m obsessing over that instead. I’ve heard people say that all writers are at least a little bit crazy, and I once again find myself lining up like a lemming to throw myself off the cliff of self-inflicted angst.
Maybe I should go bid on some jobs or something.