If I learned one thing, it’s that freelance writing clients only want to see funny if funny is called for. All other times they want to see professionalism. I also learned that no one laughs harder at my jokes than me. In other words, I’m not necessarily as funny as I think I am and it could be the same way for you.
These are quotes from real cover letters. Tell me if you would hire any of these funny freelance writers for your project:
- “What are you waiting for, f*cking hire me already.”
- “I don’t suck so you won’t suck.”
- “You can hire any old writer for your sh*t, or you can hire me.” (Deb’s note: Careful there, Skippy. You have convince me that you’re worthy of my sh*t)
- “A writer, a priest and a rabbi walked into a bar…” (Deb’s note: This one had me intrigued but the writer didn’t include the joke, only the opening line.)
- “Who’s the best writer of the bunch that’s great for you and me…M-I-C-H-E-L-Leee” (Deb’s note: Oh yes she did.)
- “Hey you…yes, you!” (Deb’s note: Well who else would you be talking to in an email to me?)
- “Show me the money!” (Deb’s note: Don’t you think we should make it past the cover letter first?
- My words aren’t boring like yours, they sing. I’ll sing you higher sales and better playing clients. Don’t you want that song in your heart.? (Deb’s note: Really, no.)
Here’s the thing. People who hire writers enjoy funny, and we enjoy clever. We also enjoy writers that breaks out of the cookie cutter mold. We don’t want elevator pitches, we want to know why you’re the best person for the gig. If you’re truly funny, you can let that shine through. Not everyone can pull this off in a cover letter or job application. My advice to wannabe funny people is to let a second pair of eyes read your query first. If others aren’t laughing, you probably have a clunker on your hand.